What Famous Lawyer Would You Hire to Do Your Bidding?
Lawyers lawyers everywhere, and everyone to sue. Have you ever seen so many lawyers clogging the airwaves? Have you developed a personal favorite yet?
Whether you want to sue someone or have someone on retainer in case you’re sued, which lawyer would you want on your side? For purposes of this exercise you can afford to choose from any lawyer, dead or alive, actual or fictional. Tell us which lawyer you would hire, and for what purpose.
Stormy Daniel’s lawyer Michael Avenatti has been riveting lately. I’d sure want him on my side against a bully. He’s got just the right level of aggressive arrogance paired with a studied calm. This clip from Tuesday night’s Last Word is entertaining because Avenatti’s got a set-up for a well-rehearsed put-down of Trump’s legal team. Ari Melber tries to cut to the chase but Avenatti just waves him off to deliver his zingers in his own time.
Transcript: (emphasis mine)
Michael Avenatti: I like to play chess, ok? in my cases. And I’ve had the good fortune to go up against some really good chess players around this country…
Ari Melber (interrupts): Is Michael Cohen playing chess with you?
Michael Avenatti: (smiles, patiently continues his set-up): Well, let me just say this. Really good chess players. I mean, lawyers at the top of their game. Really good lawyers that are really good chess players. Ok? And I like to count myself as a pretty good chess player. Right now? We’re playing three-dimensional chess and these guys are playin’ tic tac toe. Quite honestly. And they’re not even playing tic tac toe that well. All right? When we filed this case there was one response that made sense and one response only. And that response should have been, “You know what? You’re right. I wasn’t a party to the agreement” — this is the President speaking — “and you’re free to talk. She can tell her story and I’m gonna tell mine.” And guess what? Had that happened I wouldn’t be sitting here right now, and we wouldn’t be talking about it. The fact of the matter is, that’s not what happened. They have stepped into every trap we have laid in this case the last two weeks. It’s remarkable. I’ve never seen anything like it. I’ve ever had good fortune like this, ok? We’re gonna keep shooting until we miss. And the problem, Ari, is this: Now they’re doubling and tripling down. Now we have the President of the United States — and I think it’s important to take a step back and think about this for a minute— we have a sitting U.S. President who is carrying out a vendetta against a woman who alleges that she had an affair with him and suing her for twenty million dollars. And is continuing to attempt to silence her and put her under his thumb. And that’s what this is about.
Clearly what’s happening here is Avenatti is talking directly to Trump through the teevee machine, publicly mocking and humiliating him with, Hey, your lawyers are a bunch of amateurs. They’re fools. We’re wiping the floor with them and you don’t even know it yet. Maybe you should have hired a real lawyer to go up against us. It’s, well, playing chess with the rump’s head.
So, who would you hire? Gloria Allred or Atticus Finch? F. Lee Bailey or Ally McBeal? Perry Mason or Johnny Cochrane?
Or maybe your local billboard lawyer— they’ll do anything. Maybe I’d get old Saul.
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