From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Energize An Ally Tuesday
Anyone in the mood for more special elections that we can win and then rub in the face of one of America’s worst governors? There are two races to be decided on June 12 in Wisconsin, and they’re decent opportunities for Democratic payback against Scott Walker and his Koch-backed legislative orcs who run around dismantling anything that actually benefits the people they’re (theoretically) serving.
One of the races is in Assembly District 42, home of the “tin man” water tower in Pardeeville and the annual Bunny Berigan Jazz Jubilee (this Friday) in Kingston Lake. Daily Kos-endorsed Ann Groves Lloyd is running an admittedly tough battle there. But as we know by now, the wind is at Team D’s back these days and all kinds of flippy-floppy things have been happening to our benefit since Stable Genius took office. As Carolyn Fiddler wrote a few weeks back:
Lloyd is running in AD-42, a district that supported Trump 55-40 in 2016—though it did narrowly go for Obama 51-48 in 2012. As someone who suffers from fibromyalgia, securing Wisconsinites’ access to health care is a top priority for Lloyd. Her upbringing in a small town helped inform her commitment to progressive values like reproductive rights and equal pay.
Adds Lloyd: “Growing up, my family taught me that you don’t just complain when you see a problem, you do something about it. My grandfather, Bill Groves, and my great-uncle, Harold Groves, did just that when they served in their state government on the Progressive ticket. My family was right. The Wisconsin I love is facing some serious problems, and I feel it’s my responsibility to step up and do something about it.” Check out her latest ad, snarkily highlighting her dedication to environmental protection:
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With election day only 28 days away, now’s the time to help Ann Groves Lloyd marshal the resources she needs to stage a winning campaign. As with all the candidates on which we shine our Energize An Ally spotlight, C&J is tossing in $25. If you have a few bucks looking for a good home, the link to the Daily Kos Act Blue page for the Wisconsin specials is here.
Follow Ann Groves Lloyd on twitter here and the evil Facebook here.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold...
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, May 15, 2018
Note: In our ongoing effort to thwart radical extremism locally, C&J reported the following to the Portland police this morning: two illegally parked cars; excessive noise from the punk kids across the street; one hydrogen bomb hidden in a recyclables bin; four discarded cigarette butts in our driveway; one stray Burger King wrapper. Our next report at noon. Vigilance, people. cc: Homeland Security
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til the start of the Memorial Day weekend: 10
Days 'til the Tualatin RiverBird Festival in Oregon: 4
Percent of the money donated to House candidates so far this cycle that has been from women, up from 27 percent in 2014, according to the Center for Responsive Politics: 31%
Estimated number of people who died from firearm-related incidents over the past 5 years: 150,000
Fine that Florida robocaller Adrian Abramovich just got hit with by the FCC: $120 million
Number of “spoofed” robocalls (i.e. manipulated to look like they’re local calls) he’s accused of making in just 3 months: 100 million
Percent of couples who held their 2017 wedding receptions in a barn, farm or ranch, up from 2 percent in 2009 according to FiveThirtyEight: 15%
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NEW Tuesday Feature: “I Love New Orleans!”
Brought to you by the 2018 Netroots Nation Convention in New Orleans, August 2-4. I bet you’re wondering: Hey, Billeh! Are there any famous human being people from New Orleans? Great question! The answer is no. Well, unless you count…
Ellen DeGeneres
Emeril Lagasse
Truman Copote
Mel Ott
Andrew Higgens (designed the landing craft used during W.W. II)
Dr. John
Irma Thomas
Reese Witherspoon
John Larroquette
Aaron Neville
…among others
Other than that? I’m drawin’ a blank.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Finally, a legit use for Pringles…
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CHEERS to the next intergalactic rock show. Just a quick heads-up that an asteroid roughly the size of a football field is heading for us---they’re calling it “one of the closest approaches ever observed of an asteroid of this size”---and it may muss our hair this evening around dinnertime:
Compared to other asteroids, 2010 WC9 is not a large one but it is likely bigger than the Chelyabinsk meteor, which was initially estimated to be 65 feet long.
The Chelyabinsk meteor, however, injured more than a thousand people in Russia,shattering glass across the city, which it was named after. […]
The Asteroid 2010 WC9 will not be bright enough to be visible to the human eye as it flies past Earth, but it will be picked up by amateur telescopes that are pointed at the right direction at the right time.
You can twist up a fatty and enjoy the flyby this evening---2010 WC9 will reach its closest point to earth at 6:05pm ET---via the Northolt Branch Observatories page at the evil Facebook. Or---just throwing this out there---skip the meteor and just twist up the fatty.
CHEERS to the law of unintended consequences. Yesterday the Supreme Court ruled 7-2 that states have no obligation to enforce federal directives---in this case sports betting. So now sports betting can be legal anywhere states allow it, knocking Nevada off of its grandfathered-in pedestal. But the decision will also have a big impact in a non-betting arena: Trump’s war against so-called “sanctuary” cities that refuse to work with ICE---America’s de facto gestapo---to terrorize undocumented immigrants. Says Think Progress:
Because there are relatively few federal officers empowered to target undocumented immigrants, the Trump administration wants to conscript state and local police forces into the broader effort to round up and deport such immigrants. The term “sanctuary cities” refers to municipalities that do not permit their police force to assist in such an effort. […]
Under the anti-commandeering doctrine, state and local governments have an absolute right to refuse such assistance to ICE agents.
Murphy is a reminder that these limits still apply---and that the Court’s right flank is unlikely to create an exception to the anti commandeering doctrine solely because Donald Trump wants one.
Meanwhile, with the ban on sports betting now off the books, put me down for fifty bucks on the Sisters of Perpetual Badass in Friday’s Badminton Nationals. (Call it a hunch.)
JEERS to running hot and cold. Presented for your inspection: the yin and yang of climate change in two headlines:
Headline A: U.S. had its coldest April in 20 years---below-average temperatures spanned the Rockies to the East Coast
Headline B: World simmered in third-hottest April ever---Europe’s warmest
“And over here it was juuuuuust right,” said immortal Goldilocks for the 200,000th consecutive year from her bungalow in San Diego.
CHEERS to special deliveries. On May 15, 1918, the first airmail route got started in the U.S. It ran between Washington, Philadelphia and New York. They had to retool the operation when it became apparent that dangling a mailman from a rope was a really bad idea. Especially in Nettlepatch County.
JEERS to our new digs. The move from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem of the U.S. Embassy has uncorked a bottle of stinkjuice that could only…only…be the product of Donald J. (for Jesus!) Trump.
Thanks to his stable genius, it’s given Israel some sort of green light to slaughter Palestinians left and right. The religious right in America is convulsing in biblical ecstacy, having moved their Rapture token forward several spaces on their giant End Times game board. Gambling magnate Sheldon Adelson got his big jackpot. The peace process is dead. Chaos reigns. Everybody hates everybody, and it’s all because the least-religious human on earth posing as the most pious among us (a ruse agreed to by the evangelical grifters so they can hoover up even more money from their ignorant flock and spend it on yachts, private jets, mansions and Republican politicians) used religion as his cudgel to tear everything apart in the Middle East. But, on the bright side, the new embassy has a new espresso machine that I hear produces a cup of sheer mochaccino heaven.
CHEERS to the new old kid on the block. Iraqis went to the polls (in low numbers) Saturday to elect their new leaders, and the winner appears to be a blast from the past. Remember Moqtata al-Sadr, the Shi’ite leader, the freckle-faced 30-year-old cleric and leader of the Mahdi death squads whose good side we tried and failed to stay on in 2003 when we kicked off our glorious $2 trillion war there? He’s baaaaaaack! And the now-44-year-old’s top priority is ridding the government of corruption:
Populist cleric Moqtada al-Sadr, a long-time adversary of the United States, led in Iraq’s parliamentary election with [92%] of votes counted on Monday, the electoral commission said, in a surprise turn of fortune for the Shi’ite leader.
Unlike [Prime Minister Haider al-]Abadi, a rare ally of both the United States and Iran, Sadr is an opponent of both countries, which have wielded influence in Iraq since a U.S.-led invasion toppled Sunni dictator Saddam Hussein in 2003 and thrust the Shi’ite majority into power. […]
Iraq has been ranked among the world’s most corrupt countries, with high unemployment, poverty, weak public institutions and crumbling infrastructure despite high oil revenues for many years. Endemic corruption has eaten at the government’s financial resources.
Many say al-Sadr struck a chord with his campaign slogan: “A kebab on every plate and eight hours of electricity in every house.”
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Ten years ago in C&J: May 15, 2008
CHEERS to immigration assimilation. Good news: America is the Borg and foreigners are getting hard-wired for our Yankee ways faster than ever:
[T]he speed with which new arrivals take on native-born traits has increased since the 1990s. As a result, even though the foreign population doubled during that period, the newcomers did not drive down the overall assimilation index of the foreign-born population. Instead, it held relatively steady from 1990 to 2006.
Unfortunately, we native-born Americans are totally obnoxious, selfish, and consumption-obsessed. Please, immigrants...change back so we can learn from you. [5/15/18 Update: Trump’s chief of staff John Kelly remains a blithering racist idiot. Thank you, that is all.]
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And just one more…
CHEERS to 30 days of tummy growlies. The Islamic holy month of Ramadan starts tonight, and we’d like to give a C&J pre-shoutout to all of our Muslim readers around the world. According to the mighty Wikipedia, “This annual observance is regarded as one of the Five Pillars of Islam. The month lasts 29–30 days based on the visual sightings of the crescent moon, according to numerous biographical accounts compiled in the hadiths.” It’s also a month of dawn-to-dusk fasting. Here’s a glimpse into what that looks like for American Muslims, courtesy of Buzzfeed…
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Just a thought, but with all this fasting it seems like it would be the perfect month for Muslims to get their colonoscopies. (Right? I mean...right?) Meanwhile, the President of the United States will celebrate Ramadan in his usual way: by not celebrating Ramadan in any way. Won’t he be surprised when he finds out his afterlife consists of 72 virgins beating him with bottles of spray-on tan for eternity.
Oh, and get-well wishes to former Senator Harry Reid and First Lady Melania Trump, whose doctors gave their organs a tuneup yesterday. (I hear they got a volume discount.) Have a tolerable Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
“If it comes to charges being leveled, all those associated with 'Cheers and Jeers' should be indicted for the cruel and unusual infliction of tedium.”
---Frank Swietek
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