Yesterday BFSkinner posted a story about the death of Elaine Holstein, mother of Kent State shooting victim Jeffrey Glenn Miller. Elaine was 96 years old. Elaine Holstein was my aunt, my mother’s older—and only—sibling. This obituary served as the source material for BFS’s story. Needless to say I have my own source of information. Actually there are three sources: my memories, my mother’s memories and a memoir that Elaine wrote and self-published in 2004.
My grandparents were not wealthy. During much of his life my grandfather owned a series of corner grocery stores or what at the time would be known as five-and-dimes. Later in life he worked as a carpet salesman. At some point my grandmother, unusual for the times, also began working part-time and also in sales. She worked for the department store B. Altman in Manhattan for several decades, until shortly after her 80th birthday. My grandparents were the happiest couple I have ever known; I’m sure this accounts a great deal for how my aunt and my mother turned out—two sisters who doted on each other and who radiated personality.
She met her husband when she was 16; they married during WWII while he was home on leave. It wasn’t a good marriage. Uncle Bernie was charming and handsome but not good at fidelity.
Elaine was the more accomplished of the two. Unlike my mother she was able to get a college education though it took many years. She received an MSW at the age of 62. Meanwhile she worked for the Plainview (Long Island) school district for about 30 years. She was the principal’s secretary at Plainview High School.
Our family and Elaine’s family were neighbors in the North Bronx when I was very young. Later on, when she separated from her first husband, she moved into an apartment some two blocks from us in Glen Oaks Village, New York. She lived there from 1969 until just a few weeks ago when my cousin’s family relocated her to an assisted living facility where they live outside of Boston. When she remarried in the mid-70s her husband, my Uncle Artie, moved in with her there.
Mom and Elaine were always close. During the 1970s and early 80s my folks and Elaine and Artie would vacation together at a small resort in the Catskills.
Cousin Jeff’s murder galvanized Elaine. She became politically active and remained so throughout her life. Following the Kent State killings she and the other parents of the murder victims, as well as the survivors, spent several years in court seeking justice. At one time I recall her telling us, during one of her trips to Cleveland and Kent, that some local paper had referred to her and my uncle as “Jewish communists from New York.” A couple of days ago I received a message on Facebook from a woman formerly associated with Progressive Magazine with whom Elaine had been friends. I don’t think Elaine had any sort of formal relationship with magazine but they may have published some pieces by her.
For many years the New York Times would publish an op ed from her on the anniversary of Kent State. She visited the university a number of times over the years. Despite having been diagnosed with terminal cancer she was determined to make one last trip there; the plans were still in place until about two days before the trip was to have been made but the reality was that she was too ill to travel.
One final note: Elaine was an absolute killer Scrabble player. I found the experience of playing against her so demoralizing that I eventually stopped doing it.
The only person I know of who could beat Elaine with any regularity is my mother, In fact, since they lived on opposite coasts for the past thirty years, once it became feasible they played Scrabble on line on a regular basis. When Mom traveled to Massachusetts to say goodbye to Elaine they of course played an in-person game.
Rest in peace dear Elaine.