{Keyboard Protection Warning: put your coffee cup down before reading)
First, the typically pathological boast by Trump, a few weeks ago:
President Donald Trump announced Friday that he'll come to Texas in October to hold a "major rally" for Sen. Ted Cruz in the biggest stadium in Texas.
The revelation that he would come to the rescue of a man he derided as "Lyin' Ted" during the 2016 presidential campaign came in a tweet, weeks after Cruz had said he would welcome Trump's help in his effort to fend off El Paso Rep. Beto O'Rourke — and after Cruz aides insisted the senator hadn't actually asked the president to stump for him.
Cruz waited three hours before publicly acknowledging Trump's plan, calling it "terrific!"
Heh. Waiting 3 hours is a very pro touch!
And here’s Trump, playing the Knight in Shining Armor, or maybe The Lone Ranger riding to Tonto’s rescue in the nick of time:
"I'm picking the biggest stadium in Texas we can find. As you know, Ted has my complete and total Endorsement. His opponent is a disaster for Texas - weak on Second Amendment, Crime, Borders, Military, and Vets!" Trump tweeted.
At least one venue in Texas holds more than 180,000, so that's a Texas-sized promise.
Oooh! Beto must have been shaking in his shit-kickers!
Well, two days ago, the Trump/Cruz team (aka, Tonto al Cuadrado) ended the suspence by making the gobsmacking announcement that, yes, the MEGA-MAGA rally for Cruz will be at {extended drum roll}…..{ok, uh, more drum roll in the hopes that the drum roll itself will distract attention from this}:
President Donald Trump will star at a rally in Houston on Oct. 22 to help Sen. Ted Cruz, the president's campaign announced Monday night.
The president announced last month that he would hold a "major rally" for Cruz at "the biggest stadium in Texas we can find."
That turned out to be the 8,000-seat NRG Arena, which isn't close to the biggest event site even in Houston.
Nearby NRG Stadium, home to the NFL Houston Texans, holds around 80,000 people. The Toyota Center, home to the Houston Rockets basketball franchise, seats 18,000.
Now naturally, the Trump/Cruz To Idiocy and Beyond Tour has a perfectly logical explanation for the seemingly chickenshit choice for a chickenshit rally in a venue that has about a 4% capacity of the actual fucking largest event venue in Texas, of course they do:
"The suggestion that we didn't book the largest venue available is erroneous, as we sought other locations for the day that early voting begins in Texas on October 22, but they were not available in Houston," this aide said by email. "We will try to accommodate as many people as possible and also provide viewing for the overflow crowds that always accompany our rallies."
And, also naturally, they’re lying through their teeth:
NRG Stadium is hosting a monster truck jam on Saturday, two days before the Trump-Cruz rally, and a game between the Texans and Miami Dolphins three days after the rally. The Toyota Center has shows with Kevin Hart on Saturday, and on Tuesday with Josh Groban with Idina Menzel.
On the other hand, if you take into consideration that Trump’s last 4 agitprop rallies in Council Bluffs, Erie, Lebanon OH, and Richmond KY drew 7k, 9k, 3k, and 6k attendees respectively, then this choice seems pretty smart!
On the other, other hand, HAHAHAHAHAHAHABETOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!