From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Late Night Snark: GOP Got A Little Racism Problem Edition
Clip of Trump at Houston rally: You know they have a word---it sort of became old-fashioned. It's called a "nationalist." And they say we're not supposed to use that word. Well, you know what I am? I'm a nationalist, okay?
Stephen Colbert: You know why you're not supposed to use that word? Because it's the second half of "white nationalist." Chopping off the first word doesn’t change what it means in our minds. Oh, look, I'm a "Klux Klan." I have no idea which one. Don’t judge me! There's all kinds of Klux Klans! Blue Klux Klan, who knows???”
---The Late Show
"[My Republican opponent] Mr. DeSantis has got neo-Nazis helping him out in the state. He has spoken at racist conferences. He's accepted a contribution, and would not return it, from someone who referred to the former President of the United states as a "Muslim N-I-*-*-E-R." He's using that money to now fund negative ads. Now, I'm not calling Mr. DeSantis a racist. I'm simply saying the racists think he's a racist."
---Mayor Andrew Gillum (D) in Wednesday's Florida governor’s debate
"Megyn Kelly asked a question and here's the answer: blackface is racist because it turns black people into a costume and divorces them from their humanity. We're people, not costumes. But more importantly, it ignores the severely-racist context in which blackface was introduced into this country, and actions don’t exist separate from their context. For someone with a morning show, Megyn Kelly, you sure are late as hell."
---Amber Ruffin on Late Night
"I think this [Georgia voter suppression law] is bullshit. You're telling me some people won't get to vote just because their voter name doesn’t exactly match their name on file? Like, it’s funny how this happens with voting but it never stops the IRS. The IRS is never like, 'Oh, we had Trevok Noah, I guess you don’t have to pay any taxes.' No, they'd be like, 'Hey, Trevor Noah, you dumbass, you spelled your name wrong and you owe us twenty grand!'"
---Trevor Noah
And Samantha Bee on the Republican attack line that Democrats will turn into angry mobs of killers if we emerge victorious in the midterms:
"The only time I've ever seen an unhinged mob of Democrats is when NPR runs out of totes."
---Samantha Bee
Kiddie pool’s open. Tonight we’re bobbing for Mrs. McGillicutty’s 840-pound pumpkin. Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold...[Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, October 26, 2018
C&J Schedule Update: Sorry to say, this round of chemo---a lovely concoction of Irinotecan and 5-fluorouracil (aptly abbreviated "5 FU") is kicking our butt harder than last year's round, so under doctor's orders we're lying low this weekend. As far as next week's posting is concerned, we'll be back Tuesday through Friday, even if it's just 10 pages of "OMG these anti-side-effect drugs are freaky, man" accompanied by black-velvet paintings of Elvis frolicking with unicorns. But on the bright side, my hangnail's gone! Thanks for being patient as we slowly claw our way through the mud to stay just beyond the Reaper's clutches. ---The Patient
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til the November 6 midterm elections: 11
Days 'til the Short Run Comix and Arts Festival in Seattle: 8
Number of Brits who marched in London over the weekend demanding a new Brexit vote: 700,000
Rank of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Reese's Miniatures, and Twix on FiveThirtyEight's "power ranking" of Halloween candy: #1, #2, #3
Rank of candy corn: #67
Estimated number of lives snuffed out every year in China because of air pollution: 1 million
Minimum number of Mar-A-Lago members who have been given ambassadorships by Trump: 4
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Wild guess: ain’t gonna make it into the big leagues...
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JEERS to this idiot. The FBI, following apparently the easiest trail of leads ever left by a loose screw with delusions of entering Trump Valhalla, made an arrest this morning in Florida of a suspect that appears to be the “MAGA bomber” who sent pipe bombs (what Trump casually tossed off as “this bomb stuff”) intended to assassinate the Clintons, the Obamas, the Bidens, James Clapper, John Brennan (via CNN HQ), Sen. Cory Booker, Sen. Kamala Harris, Tom Steyer, Rep. Maxine Waters, Eric Holder, George Soros, Robert De Niro, and Rep.Debbie Wasserman Schultz---basically Trump's enemies list. The guy is in his 50s, has lived in New York and Florida, has a criminal history, is a registered Republican, and his van is covered bumper-to-bumper in Trump/GOP hate propaganda. Or, as tweeter El Gliko suggested…
Said Trump in a statement at the White House: “I only goad the best nutballs, believe me, believe me.”
P.S. Target Robert De Niro weighs in:
“I thank God no one’s been hurt, and I thank the brave and resourceful security and law enforcement people for protecting us,” the Oscar winner said in a statement on Friday morning. “There’s something more powerful than bombs, and that’s your vote. People MUST vote!”
CHEERS to the backlash to the backlash. As I read in today's local paper the, frankly, old news that Republicans feel like their confirmation of Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court has caused a surge in GOP excitement over the midterms, USA Today is out with actual fresh news that, yup, "There is a 'Kavanaugh effect,' and it boosts Democrats more than the GOP in midterms." According to their poll (along with Suffolk University):
Despite the conventional wisdom that the fight energized the GOP base, these voters are more likely to say it has spurred them to support Democrats.
In the survey [of likely voters], 35 percent said Kavanaugh's confirmation made them more likely to vote for a Democratic congressional candidate and 27 percent said it made them more likely to vote for a Republican congressional candidate. [...] By 3 percentage points, men said it made them more likely to vote Democratic. By 12 points, women said it made them more likely to vote Democratic.
So whatever you've been hearing about Kavanaugh being some miracle vote-magnet for the GOP…don’t believe it. This poll is proof of an opposite effect. Well, that plus the fact that half of all Republican members of the House will spend the next 11 days boofing valium.
P.S. Oof!!! "Endangered" Senator Heidi Heitkamp (D-ND) has been a human money magnet after she voted against the confirmation of the drunk alleged sexual abuser, raking in over $12 million (thanks in no small part to your response to our October 9 C&J post). She now has $11 million in the bank, versus her opponent who only has $1 million. Verrrrrry interesting.
CHEERS to the ol' bull moose. Happy Birthday to Teddy Roosevelt, who turns 160 tomorrow. #26 has a few words from the Great Beyond for the wackos who are making a mockery of his party:
"I think there is only one quality worse than hardness of heart and that is softness of head."
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"If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month.”
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"Some men can live up to their loftiest ideals without ever going higher than a basement."
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And for Donald Trump: "Never throughout history has a man who lived a life of ease left a name worth remembering."
Ouch. Pay your respects here. (But do it softly...I hear he carries a big stick.)
CHEERS or JEERS to signs of things to come. It’s not even November, but Maine has already started getting its winter groove thing on:
Inescapable conclusion: we’re gonna need a bigger vat of clam chowder.
CHEERS to spring-fresh pantaloons. On today's date in 1858, Hamilton Smith patented the rotary washing machine, which moved clothes up and down via a plunger that simultaneously circulated water:
Today's washing machines are more energy-efficient, water-conserving and reliable. (But, man, the new models make some weird sounds. Ours spends two hours going "Snrrk… Snrrk… Snrrk…") But some things haven’t changed: like, if you forget to check your pockets for anything that melts when exposed to hot water and massive centrifugal force before you push START, you're still screwed. (Damn you, Bic pen---that was my favorite Lance Link: Secret Chimp tuxedo shirt.)
CHEERS to A Brief Moment...with Barack Obama. Today in Milwaukee:
This has been A Brief Moment...with Barack Obama.
CHEERS to home vegetation. If a poltergeist doesn't suck us into the TV first ("Come into the light, Billeh! We haz teh candy corns!") and my meds don’t send me prematurely into La La Land, we might some decent cathode-ray-tubage in this weekend.
Tonight after Chris Hayes and Rachel Maddow scare us to death with the day’s news on MSNBC, Bill Maher hosts HBO’s Real Time with Stormy Daniels, Max Boot, Betsy Woodruff, Anthony Scaramucci, and Jonathan Haidt. New home video releases include Mama Mia: Here We Go Again and, on digital, Spike Lee's brilliant BlacKkKlansman. The World Series will dominate the weekend's sports events, and the schedule is here (Sox lead 2 games to zip, with game 3 tonight in L.A.), the NFL schedule is here, the NHL schedule is here, and the NBA schedule is here. SNL is airing a "best of"show celebrating Halloween, and you can bet it'll include…David S.Pumpkins!!! On 60 Minutes: the woman who is rebuilding Raqqa after ISIS destroyed it, and a profile of new conductor of the New York Philharmonic Jaap van Zweden. Jeff Bridges and Ricky Gervais are the guests on The Alec Baldwin Show (10pm ABC). And, yup, there's a new edition of Last Week Tonight with John Oliver Sunday night at 11 on HBO, followed on the same channel by the new televised edition of Pod Save America.
Now here's your Sunday morning lineup:
Meet the Press: NRCC Chair Rep. Steve Stivers (R-OH) and DCCC Chair Rep. Ben Ray Lujan (D-NM).
This Week: TBA
Face the Nation: Sens. Chris Coons (D-DE) and Frank Lankford (R-OK); battleground tracking poll results.
CNN's State of the Union: Rep. Joe Kennedy III (D-MA); lefty billionaire Tom Steyer.
Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: Rep. Steve Stivers (R-OH), Chairman of the NRCC and Rep. Ben Ray Luján (D-NM), Chairman of the DCCC.
Happy viewing!
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Ten years ago in C&J: October 26, 2008
YIKES to endorsements from Hell. Looks like al Qaeda has made up its mind. It seems they would very much like to see John McCain in the White House. They support his stand on the second amendment. They praised his tax plan as being the right medicine for the right illness. And they know that Barack Obama will re-engage America's brain after eight years of President Game Boy and completely fuck up their network, cave by cave. That plus they love that Joe the plumber guy.
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And just one more...
CHEERS to a woman who has to debate Republicans with 90 percent of her brain switched off just to make it a fair fight. Happy 71st birthday (and many blessings on your camels) to Hillary Rodham Clinton, the only human in world history who can boast having First Lady, United States Senator and Secretary of State on her resume. She should have “45th president” on it, too, having clocked Trump in every debate, secured every major newspaper endorsement, ran on positions far more popular than Trump’s, possessed more brainpower by a factor of a gazillion, and handily won the popular vote. (Thanks a lot, Comey. And Russia. And Wikileaks. And Jill Stein. And you, too, fucking media.) Some pearls from the walking fountain of wisdom:
"Donald Trump's ideas aren't just different. They are dangerously incoherent. They're not even really ideas, just a series of bizarre rants, personal feuds and outright lies. A man you can bait with a tweet is not a man we can trust with nuclear weapons."
"We can’t hide from any of these hard truths about race and justice in America. We have to name them and own them and then change them."
"To LGBT men and women worldwide, let me say this: wherever you live and whatever the circumstances of your life, whether you are connected to a network of support or feel isolated and vulnerable,please know that you are not alone."
"The difference between a politician and a statesman is that a politician thinks about the next election while the statesman think about the next generation."
"Climate change is real. It is here. It has to be dealt with. If I hear another politician or public official say they don’t know what to say because they’re not a scientist, I’m just going to yell because…go talk to a scientist!"
"If there is one message that echoes forth from this conference, let it be that human rights are women’s rights and women’s rights are human rights, once and for all."
"Despite what you hear, we don't need to make America great again. America has never stopped being great."
"You cannot have maternal health without reproductive health. And reproductive health includes contraception and family planning and access to legal, safe abortion."
"If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle."
This year I got her a new sweatshirt that says "3,000,000" on the back. (I hope it's not too subtle.)
Have a great weekend. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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