So, The Orange Dipshit and his wife, Malaria, are coming to Pittsburgh tomorrow to grieve with us, even though we told them not to. Here are some etiquette tips for their visit:
1. Tuesday would be a great time for your unreliable old car to stall out on the parkway or on major streets just before any motorcades come along;
2. Lick your hand thoroughly before you shake theirs - especially if you have a nasty cold;
3. Welcome the Trumps properly with the Traditional Pittsburgh Greeting: "JAGOFF! JAGOFF! JAGOFF!";
4. Whenever The Orange Shitgibbon or his mate tries to speak, sing LOUD protest songs to drown them out;
5. Trump would enjoy few things more than seeing his own cherubic likeness floating up in the sky and wearing diapers; and
6. If all else fails, join an organized protest: www.facebook.com/…
Please share any other useful etiquette tips in the comments below!