Donald gets up at 4:30 am. He takes a hot shower, strips his pissy bed and puts new pads down. He puts his pee soaked pajamas in a bag with the sheets and turns on his three TVs to Fox, CNN, and CBS. He listens to the news on Fox and keeps the volume down on the other two, while he remakes his Presidential bed. Then he grabs some PopTarts and his phone. He opens his bedside fridge and gets an ensure, as he promised to eat better and that gives him his vitamins. He reads his tweets from the night before and listens to Fox and friends. It's now 5:45 and his day officially begins. Time to let er rip on his twitter. To blast those who said anything bad last night. To prove "he's the MAN!" Joe Biden says he would take him out back and beat some sense into him, huh? Of course, he didn't read it all, just how Joe said he could whip him. Standing in his underwear in front of the full-length mirror, He flexes his muscles like Hulk Hogan, Thinking to himself " I'm in damn good shape for my age! I don't smoke or drink. Biden couldn't whip me on his best day! Look how buff I am." He dances for a few seconds like Rocky Balboa. "Nope! I'd kick his ass, for sure!" "It's no wonder women want him! Damn, He looks GOOD!" Melania doesn't know how lucky she is! "Just look at me. In my 70s, rich, famous, everyone loves me or they're jealous of me. I'm the most powerful man on earth. All the women want me and all the guys want to be me." "Damn I'm great!"
That damn Bob Meuller doesn't understand business. You have to give to get. Putin understands. Hell, his people love him!. Just like here, you get a few idiots in the press who don't understand what true power can do. He understands. There, he can at least shut them down. Shut them up. He gets things done. He promised to never show those videos to the public and he has kept his word. He understood I was lonely and high on coke. Shit happened, It won't ever happen again, but it did them. All I got to do for him is just remain silent. Do nothing, say nothing. Let him do his own thing and I get to do mine. He even gave me some pointers too. He's the closest thing to a real friend I got, but damn I can't say that out loud. People wouldn't understand. I got to find a way to make him cool to the American people. There's got to be a way. I think we could do some great shit; if we could just get together. Hell, he helped me win!. If that isn't friendship, what is? All he wants is to be left alone to do his own thing. Who could say no to a deal like that?
But Meuller is bound and determined to mess everything up. He won't let it go. Checking out my family and business dealings; my taxes and business interests. Who hasn't done shit they don't want to bring up again? Shit, that maybe looks shady to most, but worked out okay in the end. Doesn't the end justify the means? Idiot. He just needs to drop it and let it go.
But no! That Moron Flynn had to "make a deal" Then the others. Popodopolus had so much potential too. But he had to cry like a school girl to Mueller. Get a deal. Manifort took all that money and hid it. That's his problem, not mine. I'm smarter than that. But no. The greedy little prick had to blow a good thing, didn't he?
Firing Comey should have ended this shit. He didn't want to play ball. Hell, he is an employee. I didn't need a reason to fire his ass, but they had to make a big deal about it. All I did was ask him to drop the crap on Flynn. Nothing big. Just let it go. But no. He couldn't let it go. Then he tells everyone about me and Putin's deal. The prick didn't want a job. He wanted to be fired. So I fired him and now, I'm the bad guy for doing my job. I told Holt I just wanted all the Russia crap dropped. I told Sergia the same thing. But no. The cant just drop it and let it go, can they? I could do so much more if they would just forget all that Russia crap and let me do the job. The past is just that, the past. I could be the greatest President ever if they would drop the Russia thing. Putin just wants whats best for us. To bring peace to both Countries and be friends. He's had four successive terms. We could do this if they would just drop it. We could rule the world together! That's what Putin wants. That's what we should want. Together, we could have the world bow at our feet. North Korea, China, Canada would all beg to be our friends. But Mueller isn't ever going to let that happen. Ever.
Nunes shut down the investigation on the house side. He understands. Russia is our friend. You'd think The Senate and Mueller would do the same. Just drop it. I keep telling them its fake. Fake news. Democrats made it up. I gave them every reason to drop it. But they won't, will they? where is their loyalty to me and the party? Just because I bent a few rules and broke a few minor laws, they cant just forgive and forget for the best interest of the Country. If I get the chance, Meullers ass is history, just like Comeys. What are they going to do? Impeach me? Not with this Congress!
Well, enough of this crap. Time to answer Biden's tweet. Lil Joe couldn't whip my ass on his best day! I'd stomp him like a little school girl. I wish he would try! I would embarrass him and his family. I would shut his smart ass down. So let get the tweeting started. My Moron fans expect it. There too stupid to actually think about it or listen to anyone else's opinion other than mine. They love me! This must be how Vlad feels. He has his own news. I got Fox News. If they would read the National Enquirer it would be perfect.
Time to fire up my base. Get em talking. Get em believing. Time to bash Biden, Mueller, Sessions, the FBI, Andy McCabe, Morning Joe and CNN. Then I can get dressed. Maybe Melania will let me have sex with her this week. It's been months. What good is having Viagra if you don't use them? She cant be pissed forever about Stormy, can she? I did everything I could to keep her silent. I didn't know the bitch would get a lawyer who would challenge everything, did I? Mike paid her. Got her to sign the agreement. Its always worked in the past. Melania should have never heard about it. Boy, can that chick get pissed off? She won't let me even touch her. Thank God I got that Prenup or she would probably divorce my ass and take a big chunk of my stuff too. But, like that NDA, she signed it too. And I gave her family US citizenship too. I'm sure she doesn't want them sent back either.
Oh well, time to get dressed and go down to breakfast. Breakfast is supposed to be the best meal of the day. Then to the office to figure who ratted me out about Putin. It had to be Kelly or McMasters. So I ignored the message to NOT Congratulate Putin and bring up England. Maybe some other time. Right now I and Putin are tight. Why ruin it with crap? But you cant tell them, idiots, anything. They still want Russia to be an enemy. The bad guys. Only I see the future with them as our friends. I see the benefits.
Oh well, it's only ten and I need to go down, eat breakfast and start my day. Lunch should be ready about one. Then some more me time and some cheeseburgers and a change of clothes then dinner with Barron and Melania. Then TV time.
Time to go do this.
Fuck Mueller, Sessions, Daniels. Fuck America and the Morons who inhabit it. Fuck the Morons who follow my Twitter. Fuck this job. fuck em all! Now I'm ready...