So the last time we saw Donald Trump in Puerto Rico, he was complaining about how much everything was costing him, bragging about his performance, and tossing a few paper towels before abruptly leaving.
Granted, that’s a typical Saturday night date for him, but at least he pays his porn stars when they complain loudly enough.
Back in October — when Trump was being forced to feign compassion for people who didn’t look like him, behave like him, and most significantly, were not him — he said Puerto Ricans should be “very proud” that only 16 of them had died in the aftermath of Hurricane Maria. I’ve since tried that line out at several funerals. Apparently, it only works with dazed Puerto Ricans.
But it turns out that number was both premature and a huge underestimate. According to recent research published in the journal Health Affairs, the true death toll is closer to 1,085.
Meanwhile, Donald Trump remains preoccupied with other things, including distracting us from Stormy Daniels and staunchly defending the very Syrians he refuses to let into the country because he thinks they’re savage, subhuman terrorists.
It may be just a coincidence that Trump started firing missiles the minute Wilford Brimley’s evil parasitic twin, John Bolton, stepped into the Oval Office, but whatever bee got in his bonnet over Syria, it looks like Trump’s compassion going forward will almost exclusively take the form of destroying shit with really expensive bombs.
But Puerto Rico? It hasn’t been much of a focus. For a minute it looked like he might launch missile strikes on San Juan, but he took the high road and, for the most part, simply ignored our fellow citizens.
So what can you say about a president who prioritizes death strikes on a Middle Eastern country in response to a chemical attack that killed 40 Syrians over humanitarian aid to his own people in response to more than a thousand casualties?
You can say he’s an asshole.
But you knew that already, didn’t you?
***
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I thank you, and Melania thanks you.