I deeply appreciate your kind words and support !! I am isolated. I have housing until June taken care of, but otherwise have no support from family or anywhere else except DKOS. I am not well enough physically often enough to be able to form friendships in person. The only people I see are my students, my interviewers, and the people at my treatment center. I otherwise stay in my hotel room all day and night. I have no emotional support from family. I got into this as you know through an extremely abusive relationship. My abuser had my paycheck going into her account, nothing was in my name (not electricity, not the lease, nothing), she reviewed my emails, texts, and phone calls every day. I was not allowed to have any friends. She had her script of 180 hydrocodone, she had her 3 sisters scripts of 180 hydrocodone, her amputee brother in law's script of 180 hydrocodone, and her friends scripts of 180 hydrocodone. A total more than you would ever be able to imagine. I suffered from the effects of a very violent car accident in which I went up in the air 17-18 feet, hit a pole, and flipped twice , and landed upside down on a stone gate. As I aged, I dealt with debilitating pain. She got me to start the hydrocodone, got me addicted, and if I did not do everything she wanted, she would withhold it and I would get very sick and vomit etc. She would shout the most ugly insults nonstop and if I responded back, she would withhold the hydrocodone. She was so loud, always screaming and shouting at the top of her lungs. Her first daughter was taken away from her. Her second daughter was so depressed from the insults from her mom, she attempted suicide and was taken away from her.
This is what I barely escaped at the end of July by turning myself into Laurel Ridge Treatment Center In Patient for 8 days and then to out patient treatment through NW 38th St Treatment Center (it has two names ). And then they put me on a replacement artificial opiate which is supposed to be the best way to get off of all opiates for good. Because of how much I was taking, I was put on a high dosage of buprenorphine. But now I am so constantly sick, vomiting, cannot sleep, and profusely sweat. I feel so ill so often it makes it difficult to go out. It is very depressing. But I am doing the best I can by looking for any job and tutoring and almost perfect attendance at my treatment center to dose daily ($17/day). Fluffy the Great and you all, my DKOS friends, are keeping me afloat. I lost all but $30 of my tutoring money this week when $240 was expected originally. This should give you a picture of my daily life and why I am so worried and why I am so grateful to you for your help. Thank you !!
Dem