“We snuggled on the couch, Freddie and I, him purring and soaking up my attention, me watching Netflix. I was laying on my back, feet up, Freddie draped across my chest. My right hand was rubbing his back in the place he likes best — right between his shoulder blades. His purr was getting louder.
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A little too loud to be honest. I stopped petting him for a second so I could grab the remote and turn the volume up a bit.
“Hey!” Freddie said.
“What?” I asked, absentmindedly as I listened to make sure I could hear the dialogue on the tv over him.
“You stopped petting me!”
I set down the remote and frowned at him. “For a second!” I said. “I just needed to turn up the tv!”
He lay his head down on my collarbone. “You should turn it off,” he muttered.
I rolled my eyes and went back to rubbing his back.
He started to purr again, but not as loud. He was clearly disgruntled.
“You are being ridiculous,” I told him. “I’m petting you and we’re having a nice evening.”
He didn’t respond. I went back to watching Sabrina try to outsmart the Devil and didn’t worry about him. He was happy, if not totally happy with me.
Freddie started to shift his body so that more of him was on top of me. It was getting so I couldn’t see over him. “What are you doing?” I asked him.
“Getting more comfortable and making more of myself available to you.”
“Available to me?”
“To pet. I’m giving you more of me to pet.”
I laughed softly. “I have plenty of you to pet,” I said. “You’re not that big. I can reach all of you.”
“With both hands,” he said.
“What?”
“Both hands,” he said again. “You should pet with them.”
“That’s silly,” I said. “you are getting plenty of pettings with my right hand.”
He nudged my left shoulder with his nose. “You can rub my chin too. Pet. Me. Both hands!”
“Alright, settle down,” I said, relenting. I started to rub his chin with my left hand while my right continued to massage his back. He sighed in contentment.
I moved my head on the couch cushion so I could see my show. “That Devil is a tricky bastard,” I told Freddie.
He murmured unintelligibly.
As I got further engrossed in the show, my left hand started to slow and then eventually stop. I rested it on my belly next to him, while the other hand continued to stroke the fur on his back. I didn’t notice his purr go quiet.
I shook my head at what was happening on the screen, and then suddenly I couldn’t see it anymore. There was a cat snout in my face, blocking my vision. “What?” I asked, annoyed.
“Both. Hands!”
I reached up to rub his head and move it gently out of my face. “One hand is good enough,” I told him.
“But you have two!”
“Freddie-”
“TWO, HUMAN!”
I sighed and went back to rubbing him with both hands. It was the only way to get any peace. “God, you are so silly,” I told him. “Can I watch my show now?”
“Just keep petting me correctly.”
“If you had hands I bet you wouldn’t use both to pet me,” I grumbled.
“If I had hands I’d be doing much better things with them,” he said.
I laughed. “Yeah,” I said, “You’d be opening all the cans of tuna!”
He sat up, shaking off my petting hands. “Tuna?”
“No, I just — “
“Let’s go!” he said, and then stood up and walked none too gently off my body.
“Oww!” I said. “It hurts when you step on certain parts of me!”
All I could see of him now was his tail, which was moving steadily into the kitchen. “Come on, Human,” he called back. “Let’s use those hands to open some cans!”
I snuggled into the couch and pulled a throw blanket over me. He’d be back once he realized I didn’t follow him, but for the moment I was content to keep watching Sabrina fight for her freedom.
Happy Caturday, Peeps! Have you watched The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina? Because it’s shockingly dark, but very watchable. I do like it. Anyway, I’m not watching it right now because I am at work. I’ll be back (hopefully) at the normal time. I’m sorry this is such a frequent thing. I’ll win the Lottery eventually.