From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
B’Bye
Stephen Colbert gives Kirstjen Nielsen a proper send-off...
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And good riddjance.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, April 10, 2019
Note: If you haven’t cleaned up this filthy planet by the time Earth Day gets here in 12 days, we are so sending you to your room without supper or your iPhone pad tablet thingy. Don't test us.
---Mom & Dad
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til May Day: 21
Days 'til the Austin Reggae Fest: 9
Cases of unaccompanied children taken into U.S. government custody in 2017 and 2018: 47,000
Minimum number of years it'll take the Trump regime to reunite all the children separated from their families at the border: 2
Percent of Americans who believe their taxes will go down as a result of the tax plan Trump signed at the end of 2017, according to a new NBC News-WSJ poll: 17%
Amount by which tax refunds are down this year: $6 billion
Percent of voters who are unreachable to Democrats because they're so far down the Trump rat hole, according to a PPP poll: 32%
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Mid-week Rapture Index: 179 (including 5 plagues and 1 idiot president who thinks Jewish Americans are ruled by Netanyahu). Soul Protection Factor 24 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Wednesday morning mood...
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CHEERS to cool science (hat tip to AKALib). Remember this day,folks---it's gonna be a biggun in the history of space exploration and you're here to witness it!!! Later today the skygazing nerds in six major world cities will open up a legal-size envelope marked FOTOMAT THANKS YOU FOR YOUR BUSINESS. Then they'll open them at exactly the same time to reveal photographs of…the heretofore unrevealable!
[A]stronomers will give humanity its first look at the black hole that sits at the center of our own Milky Way galaxy. We’ll also see a vastly larger one at the heart of the Messier 87 (M87) galaxy, nearly 54 million light years from Earth. With that,astrophysics will have opened one more tiny crack in the wall of secrets that is the universe. […]
One thing that made the work possible was not just the number of telescopes collaborating in the search, but their geographic distribution. The distance among the detectors—especially the 9,000-mi. north-south stretch from Spain to Antarctica—effectively means a collection dish nearly as big as the Earth itself. That allows for an enormous amount of data to be gathered and collated—and over the course of the past two years, it was the collation more than the collection that was the more complicated part. The teams worked
A note of caution, though, to temper your expectations. You won't actually see the black holes themselves. Rather, you'll see materials that are waiting their turn, so to speak, for the big moment when they get sucked in without a trace and with no hope of ever escaping. Those elements include gas, dust, and stars, and they'll be joining others that have already disappeared into the black holes, including the WMDs from Iraq, the three million fraudulent California voters from the 2016 election, and the Republican party's soul.
CHEERS to the latest guest at the party picnic. Sensing that the current roster of 933 candidates in the Democratic primary just didn’t offer enough variety, another patriotic do-gooder entered the 2020 race Monday. Let's check out his vitals:
Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-CA)
Hails from: Sac City, Iowa, but currently lives in the San Francisco area
Age on inauguration day 2021: 40
Primary campaign theme: "Do Good. Go Big. Be Bold."
Education fun fact: B.A. in government and politics from the University of Maryland; also got his JD from the University of Maryland.
Official website: Eric Swalwell.com
Strengths: Kennedy-esque youth and vigah; eagerly takes on Republican bullshit anywhere and everywhere, including Fox News; agenda is a liberal's dream on everything from health care to gun control to education.
Weaknesses: Will start out at 0% in primary polling—he has a big climb ahead; nothing in particular separates him from the rest of the 2020 pack; may be too easily confused with Buttigieg.
Baby-kissing ability, based on latest reviews from Toddler Yelp: 9.1/10
Eric joins Kamala, Pete, Cory, Tim, Wayne, Elizabeth, Beto, Bernie, Tulsi, Julian, John, Andrew, Kirsten, Jay, Marianne, Amy, and John#2 in their quest to be the lucky duck who has the honor of chasing the Trump crime syndicate out of Washington. And I've got the perfect bumper sticker slogan for him: All's Well That's Swalwell. As usual, I'll waive my consultant's fee. Because, doggone it, that's just how much I love my country.
CHEERS to clearing the smoke. As support for marijuana legalization continues to get---gird your loins, bad puns ahead---higher and higher, and more states continue to give and toke jointly with pot advocates to blunt the efforts of a federal government that still wants to take away our fweedom, some folks are concerned that the health effects will be as damaging as tobacco. But experts, including, ironically, the federal government, say there are big differences:
A sweeping federal assessment of marijuana research found the lung-health risks of smoking weed appear “relatively small” and “far lower than those of smoking tobacco,” the top cause of preventable death in the U.S.
Unlike cigarettes, there’s evidence of certain health benefits from marijuana, such as easing chronic pain [and nausea from chemotherapy]. And marijuana can be used without smoking it. Most states now have legal medical pot programs; 10 states and the District of Columbia have approved recreational use.
“They’re different products, and they need to be treated differently,” says Mason Tvert, a spokesman for the pro-legalization Marijuana Policy Project.
In fact, they're so different that a new bill to effectively neuter federal enforcement of marijuana-possession penalties in states where pot's legal---the STATES Act---was introduced late last week with support from both Democrats and Republicans in the House and Senate. And none other than Donald Trump says he'd probably sign it into law. So while they hash that out, I'll twist up a fatty, kick my shoes off, and re-read the works of my favorite author: J.R.R. Tokin'.
JEERS to today's lesson in political whiplash. Big elections (conducted with paper ballots and they love ‘em) in Israel yesterday. Well, that's a bit of an understatement, given how Vox.com calls it The Most Biggest, Amazingest and Importantest Election in the History of the Universe and you Can Quote Us On That, Bub. (No need to click the link---you can trust me. That's what it says.) At stake is the prime ministership, which would go to either…forgive me, I don’t have my reading glasses on…Benjamin Button or Benny Hill. And yesterday after polls closed the campaigns of both the Button and Hill campaigns delivered the ironclad, unambiguous results:
"We won! The Israeli public has had their say!" Blue and White leader [Benny] Gantz said. "Thank you to the thousands of activists and over a million voters. These elections have a clear winner and a clear loser. Netanyahu promised 40 seats and lost. The President can see the picture and should call on the winner to form the next government. There is no other option!”
Netanyahu said: “The right-wing bloc led by the Likud won a clear victory. I thank the citizens of Israel for the trust. I will start forming a right-wing government with our natural partners as soon as tonight.”
What can we say? Congratulations to ALL the Israeli prime ministers!
CHEERS to the calm before the storms. Atlantic hurricane season starts in 52 days,and the meteorological elves at Colorado State University are out with their 2019 forecast (pdf). They're predicting a slightly less active year than 2018: thirteen named storms and five hurricanes...two of them major. But more important, check to see if your name is on the 2019 storm list:
Andrea, Barry, Chantal, Dorian, Erin, Fernand, Gabrielle, Humberto, Imelda, Jerry, Karen, Lorenzo, Melissa, Nestor,Olga, Pablo, Rebekah, Sebastien, Tanya, Van,Wendy
Remember that the usual meteorological Pottery Barn Rule applies: if a hurricane with your name on it breaks it, you buy it. So start saving your pennies, President Obama.
JEERS to non-refundable tickets. On April 10, 1912, the unsinkable RMS Titanic set off for New York from Southampton, England. That cruise, of course, turned out to be a disaster. The caviar was much too salty.
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Ten years ago in C&J: April 10, 2009
JEERS to sleeping with the enemy. So the morning after President Obama returns from a trip that will likely cause an uptick in his approval ratings, Matt Lauer and the wise programming elves at the Today Show decide that the very first guest to come on NBC and talk about it---underneath a graphic that reads, "Is Obama Apologizing For America?"---is "Laura Ingraham from Fox News." What...the...[expletive deleted]??? I guess Hannity was too busy. (He gets cranky if he doesn’t get enough beauty sleep.) Oh, and for those of you keeping track, a liberal host from the peacock network will appear on Fox & Friends around...[flipflipflip]...um, the first of Aintgonnahappen.
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And just one more...
CHEERS to Jotter: International Man of Mojo. April 10 is a joyous day in Daily Kos Land. A date which will live in jotter infamy. Yes, today is the annual rite of spring (the other being the running of the tutu-clad man-goats---we'll post those photos shortly) known as the jotternal equinox, aka…
Jotter Appreciation Day.
Day in and day out this Kossack titan (real name: Jotter Jotterson Jotterbury, aka Glenn) employs sophisticated computer technology to rank the day's most popular diaries and keep track of the ongoing, 17-year death spiral of "The" Daily Kos by keeping count of the ever-swelling number of new user registrations (4.2 billion as of yesterday around 11 but I forget if that's AM or PM). I rely on his High Impact Post diaries as a research tool, because there's no more succinct way to get a feel for what was on the Great Orange Satan's radar on any given day. Last month jotter had the audacity to involuntarily take himself out of action so he could have emergency liver surgery. But he's already back to posting, and we couldn’t be happier. Unless he has some secret double life as a beard-stroking James Bond villain, jotter is one of the most authentic liberal gentlemen you'll ever meet, and his daily post is a godsend. So watch for today's High Impact Posts post (posted between 10 and 12 ET usually) and give him a hearty tip, rec, and comment. Otherwise---as if it needs to be said---the terrorists win.
Update: Here’s the link to today’s jotter post. Go say howdy.
Have a happy humpday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
"The Cheers and Jeers kiddie pool is crawling with nasty bacteria"
---Engadget
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