I walked into the house and headed straight for the kitchen, stepping over Freddie as I went. “Hey, little guy,” I said.
He trotted after me, pausing to rub his body on the couch. I stepped into the kitchen and dropped my bags on the island. Then I pulled out one of the chairs and dropped myself into it. Freddie hopped up on the chair next to me.
“Guess what?” I said.
“You brought me something to eat,” he answered without hesitation.
I laughed. “Nope!”
“Umm...you brought me a new toy.”
I rubbed his head. “Nope again! I’m on vacation!”
You know how this works, but as always, a gentle reminder:
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He frowned at me. “I don’t know what that is,” he said.
“It means I don't have to go to work for a whole week and a half!” I told him, excited.
“Oh,” he said. “That’s good, I guess.”
I giggled with pure happiness. “I’m so happy,” I told him. “It’s been so long since I took this much time off and I need it!”
I could see the hamster running in it’s wheel behind his eyes. “So you’ll be home,” he said slowly.
“For most of it, yes.”
He froze and looked up at me. “What do you mean ‘most of it?’”
I froze. We stared at each other for a beat.
“Well,” I continued slowly. “We are actually going out of town for a few days. Just a couple!” I added quickly when he stood up in alarm.
“You’re leaving me?!” he screeched.
“Calm down!” I shouted over him. “It’s OK!”
"Freddie,” I said over his wails. “You aren’t going to be alone. My cousin is going to stay with you!”
He stopped caterwauling instantly. “Which one?”
I told him.
“He’s the really tall, quiet one, right?” he asked.
“That’s him! You like him!”
“I do,” he said slowly. He looked up at me. “He’s staying the whole time you’re gone?”
I nodded.
“And he knows where my food is?” he asked, getting to the really important part.
“He will! I’ll tell him everything about you.”
Freddie sat back down. “I suppose this arrangement is acceptable. I’d hate to have to veto your trip.”
“I’m sorry, little guy, but you don’t have a veto.”
He harrumphed.
“It’s not like you’d want to come with us,” I pointed out.
“No,” he said, horrified.
“I thought so,” I said, feeling smug.
“I’d just have to show you my displeasure while you were gone,” he continued.
My smug feeling vanished.
“You’ll be good for my cousin, right?”
"We’ll see,” he said darkly.
“I’m on vacation,” I told him. “I’m supposed to be relaxing, not worrying about you.”
“We’ll see,” he repeated.
I sighed, and reached over to stroke his fur. “It’s only two nights,” I explained. “The rest of the ten days I’ll be home with you.”
"Cats don’t get vacations,” he muttered.
“What do you need a vacation from?” I asked.
He glared at me. “Do you think it’s easy being your cat?”
I frowned at him. “Yes,” I said.
He shook his head and muttered something unintelligible.
“Every day is a vacation for you,” I said.
He snorted.
“It’s not like you want to leave the house,” I told him. “You get scared in the back yard!”
“There’s no roof,” he said to his paws. “It’s much too big out there.”
“See?” I said, soothingly. “So just stay here and be happy about it. We’ll take good care of you.”
"I want a vacation too,” he pouted.
“Tell you what,” I said. “Before I go next week you and I will spend a day together doing nothing but relaxing. We’ll take naps, and watch movies. What do you say?”
He perked up. “You’ll pet me when I want and stop when I’m done?”
“Yes.”
“You’ll sit in the room with me and not look at me when I don’t want you to?”
“I — “ I felt a little lost for a response for a second. “Yes…?”
“You’ll stay in your area while I stay in my area?”
“Freddie, this sounds like you don’t want to hang out with me at all.”
“I do,” he said. “But I also don’t.”
I laughed. “We’ll spend the day however you want,” I said, thinking I could at least relax and watch some Netflix. Black Mirror was coming back so I’d be entertained.
"Alright!” he said, finally as excited as me. “Vacation!”
We both did our own versions of a happy dance in our seats. Once that was done, we sat for a second, sighing with happiness.
“You’re in the kitchen,” Freddie pointed out.
“Yeah?” I responded.
He jumped off the chair. “You should be feeding me,” he called behind him.
Happy Caturday, Peeps! This is a delightfully true story. I am indeed on vacation! YAY!