It’s been one of those weeks where I have a ton of stuff to do but haven’t done it because
So that, dear Peeps, means that you get another awesome diary chock full of random memes that made me and Freddie laugh when we looked at them. Let’s get to it!
You know how this works, but as always, a gentle reminder:
Pooties are cats; Woozles are dogs. Goggies are dogs, too, and moggies are cats. Birds...are birds! Peeps are people. PWB Peeps are Pooties, Woozle, Birds People. No trolling the diary.
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- It should not need to be said, but ANY/ALL photos that imply or encourage human violence against an animal will be considered verboten! Whether it is “comedic” or not
Sitting up in bed, surfing the internet (we still say that, right?) I looked up long enough to see a long, hooked tail go floating by. “Hey, Freddie!” I called. The tail paused.
“Yeah?”
“Come up here!”
He didn’t move for a moment, but then he appeared, gracefully leaping onto the mattress.
“What was that?” I asked.
“What was what?” he answered.
“That pause. You didn’t come up right away.”
“Oh,” he said, curling up at my hip. “I didn’t want to do something just because you told me to.”
I gave him a harrumph , but decided to let it drop. “Let’s do this,” I said.
“Do what?”
“Oh. I was just looking at some memes.”
He stopped licking his paw and focused on the computer screen. “Go,” he said.
“I’m glad we don’t have a dog,” he said.
“You haven’t been around too many dogs,” I told him. “You might like to have one around.”
He frowned at me. “All these meme cats hate dogs,” he said.
“They’re just jokes,” I explained.
“No dog.”
“Why do you do that?” I asked.
“Stretch?” he said, “It feels good.”
“No, run around all noisy at early hours.”
He thought about it, then gave me a little shrug. “Feels good,” he said again.
I laughed, but Freddie didn’t. “I don’t make mistakes,” he sniffed.
“Uh-huh,” I said.
“That’s you!” I said.
He straightened a little. “It is,” he agreed, all dignity.
“That’s you too,” I said, dryly.
“You shouldn’t shut me out,” he said.
“This is true!” I declared, and leaned over to noisily kiss the top of his head.
“Stop!” he said, dodging me. “Move on!”
“You feed me before you get coffee,” Freddie pointed out.
“That’s true! Maybe we should change that...”
“No!” he said, sharply. “Show me the next one!”
We looked at each other. “I’m not the peasant here,” I told him.
“Well, I’m not!” he said.
“Hmmmmm,” we said together.
“I don’t like this one,” I said.
“Why not?”
“It makes me feel like I’m at work and in trouble.”
“OK,” he said. “Next!”
He opened his mouth to ask so I said, “It’s a song. A dumb one.”
He shut his mouth.
"Why would a cat want a cucumber?” I asked him.
He looked a little closer at the picture. “Because he could take it, I suppose.”
I frowned at Freddie.
“What?” he said. “I didn’t do it.”
“Let’s keep it that way.”
“Yeah, we’ll see.”
“I don't think you care that I clean your box,” I said.
“No,” he told me. “It gets clean, it doesn’t matter who does it.”
“That cat is fabulous!” I said.
He stared, enraptured. “Beautiful,” he whispered.
“You’re fixed,” I reminded him.
“See!” Freddie said, standing up. “No dog!”
“You know I’m not thinking about getting a dog, right?”
He sat back down. “That’s right!” he said.
“A butt dial is when you have your phone in your pocket and accidentally call someone.”
He thought about it. “You probably shouldn’t keep it in your pocket,” he said.
“Well hardly any of my clothes have pockets,” I grumbled. “You’d think the fashion industry would figure it out that women want pockets but noooo — “
“No one cares about your lack of pockets,” he interrupted.
“I know! That’s the problem!”
“We’re here for the memes, not your personal issues,” he chastised.
“Right,” I said. “Right.”
I looked at him. “Why do you do that?” I asked.
“It’s just a meme,” he said with exaggerated patience. “It’s a joke.”
I laughed. “You know, autocorrect has helped me more than it’s hurt me, but when it’s wrong, oh nelly!”
“You’ll kill me last, right?” I asked him.
“I don’t know what you mean,” he said, all innocence.
“See?” I said. “Dogs have their advantages.”
“So they just let you pet them and don’t do anything to make sure you know who’s in charge?”
“That’s right!”
He stared at the meme for a moment, then said, “No dogs!”
I sighed. “No dogs,” I agreed.
Happy Caturday, Peeps! I’m tempted to apologize for doing this again, but I’m going to resist that. I like these! I hope you do too.
I’ll be in and out again. But I’ll be thinking about you all day!