This is simply delicious.
People across the nation are furiously signing a petition to rename a portion of Manhattan’s Fifth Avenue — specifically the stretch in front of Trump Tower — President Barack H. Obama Avenue.
Organizers plan to send the completed petition to New York Mayor Bill de Blasio and the New York City Council, and if the campaign is successful, Trump Tower’s new address will be 725 President Barack H. Obama Ave.
And then, finally — at long last — I’ll be able to smile again.
From the petition:
To be delivered to New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio, New York City Council
We request the stretch of Fifth Avenue between 56th and 57th Streets be renamed "President Barack H. Obama Avenue." Any addresses on that stretch of Fifth Avenue should be changed accordingly.
Background
The City of Los Angeles recently honored former President Barack Obama by renaming a stretch of the 134 Freeway near Downtown L.A. in his honor.
We request the New York City Mayor and City Council do the same by renaming a block of Fifth Avenue after the former president whose many accomplishments include: saving our nation from the Great Recession; serving two completely scandal-free terms in office; and taking out Osama bin Laden, the mastermind behind September 11th, which killed over 3,000 New Yorkers.
If this happens, Trump will shit green nickels until the rapture — at which point I can only assume God will beam his faithful servant into the blessed ether and into the path of an Airbus jet engine.
Mayor de Blasio, how about you end your quixotic presidential bid and devote all your time to this? Your country will thank you.
Oh, and if for some strange reason you want to sign the petition, click here. Easy-peasy.
Is Trump still singeing your sphincter? Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its breathlessly awaited sequel Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the salve you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And you can get them for less than the price of a cup of coffee ... or a black-market Xanax ... or five minutes of therapy. It’s time to heal, my friends. Buy now!