Everything I needed to know about life, and possibly winning the 2020 election, I learned by tweeting the following question: “What’s something you’ve never seen Donald Trump do?”
Taken collectively the answers read like a fairly decent self-help/life-skills manual:
Laugh.
Pet a dog.
Empathize.
Stand up straight.
Accept responsibility.
Make something better.
Think before speaking.
Spend time with grandchildren.
Show genuine affection.
Play with a child.
Admit being wrong.
Hug someone.
Tell the truth.
Eat a salad.
Love.
Read a book.
Work.
Be kind.
Act human.
Apologize.
Sound coherent.
Demonstrate intelligence.
Show compassion.
Help.
Not bad eh? If I had the time and inclination I’d expand it into “Cream of Mushroom for the Soul.”
(Sorry.)
There’s one more thing none of us have ever seen Donald Trump do, and while it doesn’t really fit in with the rest, I find it by far the most interesting: fire a gun.
Think about that. There are no photos or video of Donald Trump actually firing a gun. I checked.
Now, given
1) If he ever HAD fired a gun, at least as an adult, there’d be video of it, and
2) There is no fatter, juicer slab of red meat for Trump’s base than watching politicians shoot guns before saying something tough and laconic, we can assume that
3) If Donald Trump COULD fire a gun, he would have. And there would be video of it. Or at the very least
4) He would have told us about it. Because even though many of you might find it hard to believe, he would’ve been exceptionally good at it and lots of people would say so. Therefore
5) Donald Trump cannot fire a gun.
Which, tiny little finger jokes aside, can really only mean one thing:
6) Donald Trump is afraid of guns.
Or, put crudely, the pussygrabber’s a pussy.
Now I don’t know precisely how we can leverage this little tidbit at the ballot box, (or if election results will even matter much to what’s become essentially a rogue regime,) but maybe one of you might. At the very least it gives us some ammunition.
* * *
Here are some more signs I put up around California last month. Nothing fancy, just “Impeach.” But as an American citizen who wants the President impeached, everything I know about the First Amendment says that’s what I’m supposed to do.
More than that though, it’s what I know about the men who wrote the First Amendment, the things they stood for and the lengths they were willing to go to defend those beliefs — that’s what tells me it’s what I’m supposed to do.