This week we’ve got Bette Midler (twice!), a mathematical reference, a 19th century literature reference, and, in honor of Rudy Giuliani, a 9/11 reference. There’s something for everyone in the mid-October Tweets of the Week.
Pence underwent three years of Trump conversion therapy. https://t.co/8it4s1mNUgâ Tea Pain (@TeaPainUSA) October 6, 2019
Pence underwent three years of Trump conversion therapy. https://t.co/8it4s1mNUg
I'm going to assume that this is a text to his wife that he accidentally tweeted. https://t.co/ztEWKzaiaDâ The Rude Pundit (@rudepundit) October 6, 2019
I'm going to assume that this is a text to his wife that he accidentally tweeted. https://t.co/ztEWKzaiaD
When a Venn diagram of racist men and sexist men overlaps perfectly thatâÂÂs called a circle jerk.â The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) October 6, 2019
When a Venn diagram of racist men and sexist men overlaps perfectly thatâÂÂs called a circle jerk.
Have Sky unearthed another one of Boris JohnsonâÂÂs exes?pic.twitter.com/DvhoVCaXdWâ Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) October 6, 2019
Have Sky unearthed another one of Boris JohnsonâÂÂs exes?pic.twitter.com/DvhoVCaXdW
it's gonna be weird in like two weeks when trump is finally removed from office and he's like "CIVIL WAR RISE UP" and a few sad incel clowns get arrested outside of a Game Stopâ Alex Blagg (@alexblagg) October 7, 2019
it's gonna be weird in like two weeks when trump is finally removed from office and he's like "CIVIL WAR RISE UP" and a few sad incel clowns get arrested outside of a Game Stop
My cat didn't notice 9/11. https://t.co/TiV6MoOH64â Chris Regan (@ChrisRRegan) October 8, 2019
My cat didn't notice 9/11. https://t.co/TiV6MoOH64
Donald Trump is joking, or he was joking but is now not joking, or he was not joking but is now joking, or he was joking about joking but is now not joking about joking, or he was joking about not joking but is now not joking about not joking, or he is fucking lying.â Middle Age Riot (@middleageriot) October 8, 2019
Donald Trump is joking, or he was joking but is now not joking, or he was not joking but is now joking, or he was joking about joking but is now not joking about joking, or he was joking about not joking but is now not joking about not joking, or he is fucking lying.
Congressman Matt Goetz thought a âÂÂkangaroo courtâ had something to do with the Captain Kangaroo show? I hope someone explains to him that the *duties* of his office donâÂÂt have anything to do with Howdy.â Bette Midler (@BetteMidler) October 9, 2019
Congressman Matt Goetz thought a âÂÂkangaroo courtâ had something to do with the Captain Kangaroo show? I hope someone explains to him that the *duties* of his office donâÂÂt have anything to do with Howdy.
Trey Gowdy looks like Meryl Streep if she was playing a used bookstore cat on Portlandia pic.twitter.com/rHsdSTN8swâ Matt ðÂÂÂswalt (@MattOswaltVA) October 9, 2019
Trey Gowdy looks like Meryl Streep if she was playing a used bookstore cat on Portlandia pic.twitter.com/rHsdSTN8sw
Trey Gowdy looks like Colonel Sanders' brain stemâ Erin cheap jump scare Ryan (@morninggloria) October 9, 2019
Trey Gowdy looks like Colonel Sanders' brain stem
Two free tips for Fox News:1. Don't amplify accounts with clearly spammy handle names2. Maybe read the screen name aloud before you broadcast it to the world pic.twitter.com/BgbsWGBlAqâ Natalie Martinez (@natijomartinez) October 9, 2019
Two free tips for Fox News:1. Don't amplify accounts with clearly spammy handle names2. Maybe read the screen name aloud before you broadcast it to the world pic.twitter.com/BgbsWGBlAq
Polls show that 25% of Republicans want Trump impeached; 48% think Pence is "sexy in the way a picnic table is", 57% believe Jesus didn't tip; 175% think abortion is two words, 342% look like their cars, and 753% own a gun to protect their snacksâ Paul Rudnick (@PaulRudnickNY) October 9, 2019
Polls show that 25% of Republicans want Trump impeached; 48% think Pence is "sexy in the way a picnic table is", 57% believe Jesus didn't tip; 175% think abortion is two words, 342% look like their cars, and 753% own a gun to protect their snacks
Rest easy, Donald. We're workin' hard to replace the idiot that appointed him.https://t.co/qq4bE2wmDhâ Tea Pain (@TeaPainUSA) October 9, 2019
Rest easy, Donald. We're workin' hard to replace the idiot that appointed him.https://t.co/qq4bE2wmDh
I feel like you do https://t.co/cYAWAZnA6Oâ Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) October 9, 2019
I feel like you do https://t.co/cYAWAZnA6O
Q: Why should we regulate big tech?Democrats: Google and Amazon are using their anti-competitive monopoly power to favor their own products and destroy small business margins.Republicans: WHEN YOU SEARCH MY NAME IN TWITTER YOU SEE ACCOUNTS THAT MAKE FUN OF ME.â Emey ð¸ (@emeyerson) October 9, 2019
Q: Why should we regulate big tech?Democrats: Google and Amazon are using their anti-competitive monopoly power to favor their own products and destroy small business margins.Republicans: WHEN YOU SEARCH MY NAME IN TWITTER YOU SEE ACCOUNTS THAT MAKE FUN OF ME.
Jacob Wohl, political idiot who wanted us to believe Liz Warren was raw dogging a jacked Marine now claims Kamala is boning her trainer. Should Jacob be MY new publicist? âÂÂBette Midler doesnâÂÂt limp because of arthritic knees, sheâÂÂs fucking a fireman Ironman triathlete mathlete!âÂÂâ Bette Midler (@BetteMidler) October 10, 2019
Jacob Wohl, political idiot who wanted us to believe Liz Warren was raw dogging a jacked Marine now claims Kamala is boning her trainer. Should Jacob be MY new publicist? âÂÂBette Midler doesnâÂÂt limp because of arthritic knees, sheâÂÂs fucking a fireman Ironman triathlete mathlete!âÂÂ
Live footage of Rudy Giuliani leaving for Vienna: pic.twitter.com/8XGElCoNiTâ Caryn Rose (@carynrose) October 10, 2019
Live footage of Rudy Giuliani leaving for Vienna: pic.twitter.com/8XGElCoNiT
A fun thing I like to do now that there are men NFL cheerleaders is to call them cheerleaders and all the women, lady cheerleaders.â Soren Bowie (@Soren_Ltd) October 12, 2019
A fun thing I like to do now that there are men NFL cheerleaders is to call them cheerleaders and all the women, lady cheerleaders.
IâÂÂve got to think when you surround yourself with guys telling you thereâÂÂs nothing to worry about it must be a little disconcerting when they start going to prison.â Schooley (@Rschooley) October 12, 2019
IâÂÂve got to think when you surround yourself with guys telling you thereâÂÂs nothing to worry about it must be a little disconcerting when they start going to prison.
âÂÂI met a traveller from an antique landâÂÂhuge guy, enormous, from one of the most antique lands, unbelievable, and heâÂÂs crying, and he says sir, he says, theyâÂÂre looking on your works, some of them very mighty, and they despair. ItâÂÂs true. They despair. So impressed by my works.â pic.twitter.com/pDxiKWQ3nAâ A.R. Moxon (Julius Goat) (@JuliusGoat) October 8, 2019
âÂÂI met a traveller from an antique landâÂÂhuge guy, enormous, from one of the most antique lands, unbelievable, and heâÂÂs crying, and he says sir, he says, theyâÂÂre looking on your works, some of them very mighty, and they despair. ItâÂÂs true. They despair. So impressed by my works.â pic.twitter.com/pDxiKWQ3nA