Panicking much? After our snarky interlude, today’s roundup link can help with that.
Do republicans strike you as a party with a Machiavellian agenda of global domination and revenge against their arch-rivals, the freedom loving Democrats? Yeah, me too. Darth Nunes and Darth Jordan were at the forefront yesterday. Today we’ll likely hear from some other Darth (R)hole and Supreme Space Cadet Commander Spanky Bonespurs tRumplethinskin. Spanky’s lord and master Vlad the Bad will remain silent pulling strings in the background. And thus endeth our Star Wars parallel for the day.
Walter Reed Medical Center — for immediate release November 14th, 2019
More than two years ago, due to the increasing mental incapacity demonstrated by Mr. tRump, surgeons at Walter Reed in conjunction with the GRU Disinformatics Institute were successfully able to implant the first fully functioning GIGO processing unit in a human(ish) brain. After our extensive field testing. ongoing ever since the implant operation during a golfing weekend in 2017, we are today announcing the partial success of the processor.
Unfortunately, the through put is not entirely pure. In practice rather than a direct Garbage In Garbage Out transfer, we are seeing Garbage In Gibberish Out. The programming team has so far been unable to pin down the cause of the glitch. Most believe it has something to do with the clearly inferior quality of the tRump brain.
Our Q&A team have documented an atrophied language complex with a working vocabulary of just several hundred words. This ranks tRump’s linguistic capabilities somewhat less than canine companions such as Border Collies or even Chihuahuas. The current speculation is that intense jealousy may be why he makes so many references to “dying like a dog.”
In addition, Q&A noted the complete absence of any learning ability coupled with the total absence of any higher reasoning abilities whatsover. We think this is because a gigantic cancerous ego has taken over most of his neural pathways, making actual thinking impossible. In fact, we have determined that his diseased ego has supplanted any inclinations to honesty, empathy, decency, respect, restraint or kindness.
Conclusion: While the implant of the GIGO processor was mostly successful, the unsuitability of the subject to any of the duties of his office, lead us to recommend the termination of the project and the recall and decommissioning of the subject.
This morning’s Good News Roundup by Mokarai cautioned us against panic and gave us a lot of organizing choices to combat Donnie the Menace and his cohort of the despicable. Go check it out.