From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Did You Know?
WHO followed up Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid with the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act? Democrats.
WHO brought you federal protections that guarantee insurance company vultures can’t engage in pre-existing condition abuse? Democrats.
WHO made sure the insurance companies can't shut off the spigot to your health care just because their bean counters think you've had enough? Democrats.
WHO made sure preventive, aka “essential” services like checkups and colonoscopies are included in your monthly premium at no extra cost? Democrats.
WHO brought you the right to keep your kids on your health insurance policy until they're 26? Democrats.
WHO made sure every state has the ability to expand Medicaid, giving the poorest residents affordable access to health insurance, many for the first time in their lives? Democrats.
WHO headed up the first state governments to expand Medicaid? Democrats.
WHO still wants to abolish all of the above? Republicans.
WHO isn’t going to let them? Democrats.
WHEN does the 2020 ACA federal exchange enrollment period end? December 15.
WHERE is the official site? Healthcare.gov.
Any questions?
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold...[Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, November 21, 2019
Note: This morning for breakfast I cooked up four strips of turkey bacon. It would've been five but I pardoned one of them.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til baby Jesus gets swaddled: 34
Days 'til the Monument Square Tree Lighting in downtown Portland, Maine: 8
Percent of women who "definitely" plan to vote against Trump next year, according to the new NPR-PBS-Marist poll: 60%
Decline in EPA inspections in the Midwest because of personnel cuts by the Trump people-poisoning administration: 60%
Number of female employees of Sterling Jewelers (inc. Kay, Zales) suing the company because they say they were paid less and promoted less than their male colleagues for the same work: 70,000
Number of months Maine's unemployment rate has been under 4 percent: 46
Cost of the new electric Ford Mustang Mach-e SUV: $52,400
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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
I'm in favor of all the election reforms being advocated by the goo-goos (short for good government groups), plus I am indebted to a blogger on DailyKos.com for the brilliant notion that George Soros should buy Diebold Co.
The country's leading manufacturer of electronic voting machines is currently headed by a Bush Pioneer, which is enough to give anyone the creeps.
Other liberal billionaires could buy the other voting-machine companies, and then they should be put into a public trust whose workings are open to everyone.
—November 2004
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Devin Nunes could use one of these…
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CHEERS to another day under the klieg lights. The House impeachment hearings continued yesterday. If you were looking for pizzazz, by golly you found it right off the bat as U.S. Ambassador to the EU Gordon Sondland testified that everybody was in on the extortion plot against Ukraine: Pompeo, Giuliani, Pence, Perry, Mulvaney, Parnas & Fruman (aka Lev & Igor), Bolton, Volker…. It might be easier to list the Republican morons who didn't participate, as it's a shorter list. And it was definitely extortion/bribery, so thank you for that, Mr. Ambassador. If you're a person who prefers to process your information visually, here's what Sondland did to Trump yesterday:
Oh no! I hope there weren't any serious injuries. To the bus, I mean.
P.S. This tweet is an instant endorphin rush:
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CHEERS to more pizzazz!!! You thought we were done? Ha, I say. Ha ha ha ha! Like Murder on the Orient Express, there's still a few more witnesses lined up on the Trump train waiting to stick the proverbial knife between his ribs. (Mmmm…ribs.) This week's hearings wrap up today with testimony from two witnesses:
» Former White House Russia expert Fiona Hill, who was famously told by former national security adviser John Bolton that he wasn't part of "whatever drug deal Sondland and Mulvaney are cooking up," and that Rudy Giuliani was "a hand grenade that's gonna blow everybody up."
» State department aide David Holmes, the guy who overheard (in a crowded Ukraine restaurant) Trump bellowing on Ambassador Sondland's un-secure speakerphone about nailing down "the [sham] investigations" into the Bidens.
And when it's all over and chairman Schiff has gaveled the committee into recess? Of course...we dance.
CHEERS to Saving Our Souls. It's a well-known fact that on today's date in 1906, "S-O-S" was adopted at the International Radio Telegraphic Convention in Berlin as a signal that a ship is sinking and the band is already on their next-to-last stanza of Nearer My God to Thee. Less well known: On November 21st, 2016 every country in the world gathered to approve an alternative numerical signal that means impending disaster happening on air, land and sea: "1-20-17."
JEERS to lectern madness. I was so whipped from the impeachment hearings that I used my "Get Out Of Watching One Democratic Debate Free" card last night. But I did tune in and out for a few minutes while Jeeves was changing the reels during my usual Wednesday evening softcore film night. (Sleeveless in Seattle is positively scandalous). So here's what allegedly happened:
Candidate A criticized Candidate B and Candidate B got all huffy and was all like, "You can't say that!" And then Candidate C said Candidate A was guilty of the same thing and plus he never would've done that if Candidate D hadn’t done it first.
And then Candidate D was all like, hey let's calm down and focus on the #1 issue facing this country: how Candidates A through C and E through H are total jerks and how can you even take them seriously?!! And then Candidate F is like, I'll fix this country! I'll also fix your bike, a leaky faucet, anything, you name it, I can fix it! And all the other candidates are like, nuh-uh, you couldn’t even fix a dog in heat, ha ha that's a good one.
And candidates I and J are like, can we get a word in here, we'd like to talk about serious proposals like dropping money from helicopters and dropping Republicans from different helicopters cuz otherwise they'll steal all the money from the other helicopters. And then the moderators—all women this time—are like, hey, we haven't even asked a question yet! And the candidates are like, we don’t need no stinkin' questions. Then they all voted to impeach and convict the president, after which a bottle of scotch and ten shot glasses made their debut.
By the end of the night the candidates were in 96.2 percent agreement with each other, and will meet again at the next debate on December 19th in Los Angeles so they can finish pounding each other over the remaining 3.8 percent. My money’s on Gephardt!
CHEERS to reaching dry land. On November 21, 1620, after being denied boarding passes at Heathrow because they were on the no-fly list, a bunch of renegade "pilgrims" from England with a bad case of B.O. and no sense of humor landed in New England after 66 days at sea and promptly got all quill-crazy, signing the Mayflower Compact:
“...to enact, constitute, and frame just and equal laws, ordinances, acts, constitutions and offices, from time to time, as shall be thought most meet and convenient for the general good of the Colony, unto which we promise all due submission and obedience."
Upon which they immediately went to work crowding out the Native Americans, killing suspected witches, and careening all over the damn place without using their turn signal once in crude internal-combustion machines, thus earning them the name “Massholes” early on.
But they were #1 in gay marriage rights, they’re very good at calling their mothers, and how ‘bout them Patriots/Celtics/Red Sox/Bruins? By the way, the Mayflower was destined for the northern edge of the Virginia Colony, but they ended up dropping anchor in a totally different place: Provincetown, Massachusetts. After spending several years reviewing all the available evidence, I've come to an inescapable conclusion: GPS sucked back then.
CHEERS to looking on the sunny side. Speaking of wowie-zowie technological advances: in the not-too-distant future, solar power (and wind) is going to advance to the point where a single square-inch panel will be able to light and heat a city the size of Los Angeles for two-thousand years…and then we'll complain that it takes up too much room and doesn’t last long enough. In the meantime, we'll have to do with slightly more modest advancements like this one, which is still pretty cool. By which I mean a red-hot mama:
A secret clean energy startup backed by Bill Gates has just gone public with the announcement of its new technology that uses concentrated solar energy to exceed temperatures greater than 1,000 degrees Celsius (1,800 degrees Fahrenheit)—and it could be a game-changer in the fight against the climate crisis. […]
At that temperature, the energy company—Heliogen—can replace the use of fossil fuels in critical industrial processes, including the production of cement, steel, and petrochemicals, dramatically reducing greenhouse gas emissions from these activities. […] For instance, cement production—one of the industrial processes well suited to Heliogen’s technology—alone accounts for more than 7% of global CO2 emissions.
“We’ve made great strides in deploying clean energy in our electricity system," said Heliogen CEO and founder Bill Gross. But electricity accounts for less than a quarter of global energy demand. Heliogen represents a technological leap forward in addressing the other 75% of energy demand: the use of fossil fuels for industrial processes and transportation.”
And then he absent-mindedly gave his prototype a gentle pat and vaporized himself in 0.003 seconds. On the bright side: that's a new self-immolation world record.
CHEERS to spinning in circles. On this date in 1877, Thomas Edison announced to the world that he had invented the phonograph machine. In fact, he broke the news via a phonograph recording, which sounded like this:
"Hello, is this thing on? Testes...testes one two three.
We begin bombing the Russians in 30 minutes. Ha ha! That always cracks 'em up at the Elks Lodge! But seriously, folks. Mary had a little lamb—her parents were mortified.
I just can't help myself... You folks fly in from out of town? I bet your arms are tired! I slay me... Oh, by the way, the walrus will be Paul and Luke will be Vader's kid. Oops…'Spoiler alert!'
I'm bored. Can I go home and invent the light bulb now?"
Only known cure for Restless Inventor Syndrome, according to doctors: take two patent applications and call me in the morning.
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Ten years ago in C&J: November 21, 2009
JEERS to the waiting game. Yesterday there was an airline traffic control meltdown. Passengers across the country had to endure delays, cancellations, missed connections, long waits on the tarmac, crying babies, inconvenience, boredom, overpriced airport food, and excessive baggage fees. As opposed to a normal day where all they have to put up with are delays, cancellations, missed connections, long waits on the tarmac, crying babies, inconvenience, boredom, overpriced airport food, and excessive baggage fees.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to hearty hurrahs for my humble harbor hamlet. Let's get one thing straight: Fodor's "Go List" is the ultimate authority on travel, and as long as I run this blog through an insidious maze of back channels, this assertion will NOT be questioned. And in the infallible judgment of Fodor's, Portland Maine is one of only nine "Top Places to Go in the U.S. and Canada in 2020" and the only city in New England, they conclude, worth a jar of warm lobster juice:
Portland has been experiencing a food renaissance in recent years, one that was wholeheartedly affirmed when Bon Appétit named this tiny city its 2018 Restaurant City of the Year. Since then, the culinary scene has exploded, and so too has the city’s popularity. […]
If foodie culture is not your thing, there are numerous guided tours including the 50-minute tour with The Portland Fire Engine Co., while the self-guided Family Walking Guide is available from Greater Portland Landmarks. Portland Museum of Art is a must to see amazing seascapes and landscapes by great American painters like Winslow Homer, Andrew Wyeth, and Edward Hopper. And the Portland Observatory, built in 1807, provides a unique view of the city, bay, and surrounding islands. […]
As Portland is still very much a working waterfront, don’t miss the opportunity to take a sunset schooner sail, or a whale-, dolphin-, or seal-watching cruise, or better yet, a lobster boat tour.
Plus: our first woman mayor is getting sworn in soon, the city is a Currier & Ives print come to life around the holidays, our squirrels all wear cute little flannel sweater vests, and the restraining order that says I gotta stay at least 50 feet away from visitors was just renewed for its 26th consecutive year. So come on up and see us sometime. We'll take good care of you. And even better care of your credit cards.
Oh, and in case you missed it, the NEW Kos Katalogue—where “Every Purchase Supports A Kossack”—is open for browsing. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
"If Bill in Portland Maine had an MRI of his head, I would be very pleased. I think he needs it.”
—Dr. David Scheiner
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