Here’s your choice, Donny: Either you’re an idiot who doesn’t know how to use apostrophes or you think only one president is worth mentioning on Presidents Day.
The AP Stylebook — my go-to source for this kind of thing — says the holiday should be written as “Presidents Day.”
Webster’s New World College Dictionary, on the other hand, uses an apostrophe, calling it “Presidents’ Day.”
In no universe is it “President’s Day,” as that implies we’re happy about just one president. And if it’s the one he’s almost certainly thinking of, he’s grossly mistaken.
To paraphrase the old Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup commercial, “You got stupidity on my narcissism! You got narcissism on my stupidity!”
And in case you’re not middle-aged like me, here’s what I’m talking about:
See? The old days weren’t always good. People frequently walked down the street blithely scarfing peanut butter out of open jars while barely paying attention to their surroundings. But at least our president wasn’t functionally illiterate.
Also, just in case one of the millions of second graders who know how to correctly write Presidents Day calls the White House switchboard and convinces someone in the building to pull this tweet down, here’s the screen grab:
Happy 44 out of 45 Presidents Day, everyone!
Because I ♥ my readers, my latest e-book Dear Pr*sident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump, is currently on sale for a redonkulous 99 cents. It’s my (extended) Valentine’s Day gift to you! It shoots up to (a still-redonkulous) $1.99 later today, and then back to regular price (a moderately redonkulous $2.99) on February 21. Meanwhile, you can find all my acclaimed Trump-trashing treatises at Amazon. Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief.