Cheers and Jeers is a weekday influencer from the great state of Maine.
Energize An Ally Tuesday
I need you to make a donation today. But not money. I just need you to send thousands of positive, sanitizer-drenched “Big-D” vibes to a candidate in the primary election in Illinois.
Today we’re asking you to close your eyes (but not while driving or operating heavy machinery, please), and send your mojo to Illinois' 3rd district. It’s long past time to replace blue dog fossil Dan Lipinski with progressive Marie Newman, whose values are much more representative of the district.
Continued…
Lipinski, on the other hand, spent years fighting reproductive freedom, voted against the Affordable Care Act, opposes the DREAM Act, calls progressives “the tea party of the left,” and refused to support President Obama for reelection in 2012. We need him representing Democrats like we need a hole in the head, especially now that we know he's actively courting MAGA Republicans for their votes.
Two years ago, Lipinski escaped defeat by the skin of his fangs. Good lord willing and the creek don’t rise, tonight we’ll greet the news that Marie Newman is our Democratic candidate. And then we can set our sights on helping her defeat her opponent, who may turn out once again to be a bona fide Republican Nazi (is that redundant these days?) in the Nov. 3rd general.
If you’re voting today in IL-03, wash those hands and practice safe social distancing as best you can. If you’re just a spectator, send those vibes.
And now, our feature presentation...
-
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, March 17, 2020
Note: Three months later my dreidel is still spinning. I still can’t decide if that’s amazingly cool or super creepy.
-
By the Numbers:
Days 'til Palm Sunday: 19
Days 'til the… [Out of an abundance of caution C&J has suspended posting our daily "Days 'til…" public festival countdown for health reasons until further notice. We regret the inconvenience.]
Percent of Americans who trust CDC to give them accurate information, according to Ipsos polling: 79%
Percent who trust the president and vice president to do the same, respectively: 38%, 39%
Percent of independents surveyed by Quinnipiac who believe Joe Biden would act better in a crisis than Donald Trump: 59%
Percent of Michigan union households that voted for Biden and Sanders, respectively, in the primary last week, according to CBS News: 54%, 42%
Number of marijuana licenses issued (finally) by the state of Maine to Portland retailers: 5
-
Puppy Pic of the Day: The latest celebrity woozle: the golden unicorn…
-
JEERS to having to share the planet with microscopic monsters. A virus by any other name would smell just as rank. But as the current pandemic unfolds here in the U.S., it's probably a good idea to know exactly what we're calling the damn thing. Thanks to the elves at HuffPo, home school is in session:
The concept of coronavirus isn’t new. The term refers to a group of viruses that are known to cause respiratory issues. So even though many are referring to the illness circling around right now as “coronavirus,” that’s not actually the name of the disease.
Experts refer to this coronavirus as the “novel coronavirus,” meaning it’s a new type of coronavirus that was not previously known or understood by health experts. COVID-19 is the illness caused by the novel coronavirus.
COVID-19 can lead to major health problems like pneumonia and organ failure, and it can also cause issues like shortness of breath and fever. … People who are at the highest risk for severe complications from COVID-19 are those who are over 65, anyone who may be immunocompromised, and those with chronic medical conditions like heart disease, diabetes and lung disease.
The World Health Organization likens it to the difference between AIDS (the illness) and HIV (the virus that causes it), or measles (the illness) and rubeola (the virus that causes it). Or, to put it in political terms everyone here can instantly understand: it's the difference between Republicanism and Newt Gingrich.
CHEERS to Super Duper Dandy Schmandy Tuesday. Here we go again. Today is another major milestone in the Democratic pursuit of the nomination for president of the United States Divided Oligarchy of America. At stake: something like 575 sweet, caramel-coated delegates in the great states of Illinois, Florida, and Arizona. (The Ohio primary has been postponed until June 2.) The marquee contest:
As always, results will be posted tonight in the live Daily Kos Election Team posts. Also as always, glaring spelling and grammar mistakes will be posted in the live Russian trolls' twitter feeds.
CHEERS to getting a clean bill of health. Phew—we can all relax now. Thousands of us have been tested, and it turns out the coronavirus can't hurt us. We're in the clear! Happy day! We can slobber all over each other again and stick our noses in each other's butts and do all the things we usually do. Oh, I probably should have mentioned earlier: I'm guest-writing this item. I'm Fantom. Bill's cat. With breaking “mews”:
Idexx Laboratories Inc. has evaluated thousands of canine and feline specimens during its validation of a new veterinary test system for the COVID-19 virus, more commonly known as the coronavirus, and it has some good news for pet owners.
The Westbrook [Maine]-based veterinary diagnostics company said it has seen no positive results in either cats or dogs, confirming earlier assessments that the most popular household pets cannot contract the disease.
“These new test results align with the current expert understanding that COVID-19 is primarily transmitted person-to-person and supports the recommendation against testing pets for the COVID-19 virus,” the company said in a news release.
This is a fortuitous development for maintaining domestic harmony in these difficult times. If they'd tried to wash my paws one more time I was gonna have to do some human flesh harvesting in their sleep. Bullet dodged. I now cede the rest of my time back to Billeh.
CHEERS to an end to the threat? Please, please, please keep your fingers and your toes crossed, because it's quite possible that we'll soon get the all-clear signal and sanity will be restored to the land, complete with social-distance-conscious dancing in the streets, smiles from ear to ear, and, most important, a feeling that a particularly nasty parasite has been vanquished. No, not the coronavirus, silly. Bibi the Israeli bully:
Israeli opposition leader Benny Gantz will be given the first opportunity to form a new government after an inconclusive national election this month, the country’s president said Sunday, raising questions about Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s political future.
The decision by President Reuven Rivlin was announced by his office after he consulted with leaders of all of the parties elected to parliament.
He will formally designate Gantz with the task on Monday and give him a month to cobble together a governing coalition. […]
Netanyahu also faces serious legal troubles as he prepares to go on trial to face corruption charges.
If Netanyahu goes down in a swirl of electoral defeat and criminal conviction, there’s a good chance Trump will suffer the same fate. After all, those two shook hands and kissed. A lot.
CHEERS to favorite First Couples. Today is the wedding anniversary of Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt. They were married on March 17, 1905 in New York:
The 20-year-old bride was escorted down the aisle by her uncle, then President of the United States, Theodore Roosevelt.
The ceremony took place at the New York City home of Eleanor’s great uncle and aunt, Edward and Margaret Livingston Ludlow. The reception took place next door at the home of her cousin, Susan Parish. Though no photographs of the day are known to exist, several artifacts from the wedding are in the FDR Library’s museum collection.
So, uh…what do you get a 138-year-old man and a 136-year-old woman on their 115th anniversary? If they're still actually walking the earth after all this time, I'd say the #1 thing on their list would probably be: "Braaaaains..."
-
Ten years ago in C&J: March 17, 2010
JEERS to Rudolph the Red-Nosed Destroyer of America's Young. Here we go again—another day, another recall:
The latest action by the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission targeted "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" charm bracelets that released alarmingly high levels of cadmium in government lab tests, suggesting children could be exposed to a carcinogen that also can damage kidneys and bones. [...]
"This crap has to be off the market," [toxicologist Dr. Paul] Mushak said,"and I think it's outrageous that there's this endless, endless litany of highly toxic stuff coming down the marketplace and CPSC is essentially saying,'OK, we'll get to that one, too.'"
In fairness, the Chinese manufacturer had a logical explanation. The truck with the lead bracelets was late to the dock so they had to punt.
-
And just one more…
CHEERS to the wearin' o’ the green beer. St. Patrick's Day is today and C&J extends a hearty "Begosh 'n Begorrah" to all our Irish and/or Irish-ish readers. My blood line is Swiss ("Is that the Matterhorn in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? Ha ha ha, I kid. It’s really an Alpine horn."), so I'm totally neutral about St. Patrick's Day. But since all the parades appear to be (wisely) canceled today, we bring you the following 15 seconds of mirth:
Have you heard about the Irish boomerang? It doesn't come back, it just sings songs about how much it wants to.
There's a new Irish restaurant being built in town. They're going to serve gourmet 7-course Irish meals. Everyone who comes in gets a potato and a six-pack.
On St. Patrick's Day, Americans are expected to drink over 13 million pints of Guinness. To give you an idea how much beer that is, go outside and look at the sidewalk. —Seth Meyers
What's Irish and sits outside in the summertime?
Paddy O'Furniture.
Remember: if someone walks up to you today and shouts “Lá Fhéile Pádraig sona duit!”, the proper response is, “Don’t move. I’m calling the CDC.”
Oh, and happy birthday to former Daily Kos executive editor Susan Gardner, now happily retired and rockin’ comfortably on her porch, we hope. (And many blessings on your camels.) Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
-
Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
"As enjoyable as Bill in Portland Maine may be to read, do not confuse Cheers and Jeers for our current reality."
—Dahlia Schweitzer
-