My fellow resisters; we aren’t here today to throw bricks at the republican party. We are here to throw cement blocks and large boulders. Never before in the history of our nation has one group done so much to destroy so many. From Florida and Georgia to Wisconsin and Washington DC, we are saddled with a multitude of horse’s asses (and their road apple policies) who have no regard for our (and their) health and safety.
They are inexplicably led by an off-color orangish blithering idiot of a chowderhead with small hands and all the medical knowledge of a jellyfish left behind on the beach after a high tide. Some see him as their savior. Some see his as their prince. Most see him as a squatter on the reins of power with no understanding of where he is and what he is supposed to be doing.
In the interest of fair play and to avoid charges made by bothsiderists, the staff here at have decided to publish this fair and balanced list of tRump’s qualities and skills, listing the things he is best and worst at. We are aware the tRump invites superlatives. He demands them from his followers. As loyal Americans, we are willing to do our part. Donald tRump is the most corrupt, least competent, most ridiculous, least knowledgeable, most vain, least thoughtful, most despised, least honest, most arrogant and least accomplished president we’ve ever had. Wow, I feel so much better have explored both sides of the tRump phenomena. It’s good to be understanding and look at both sides.
Let’s try something new. This is a participatory activity. Back in the day when we were wee younguns, we’d sometimes spend time hurling verbal brickbats at each other. We were expected to get angry when someone told us our mother wore army boots (were they saying she had big feet or shopped at the Surplus Store? I never did figure out what was wrong with army boots). Oops, sorry I got derailed there. Why not update that game, but instead of insulting each other, let’s insult tRump.
I’ll give you a starting phrase and some examples. Please fill the comments with your additions. The winner, as chosen by a panel of experts (me), will receive some random no-prize provided I remember to find something amusing to dole out.
Donald tRump is so corrupt
- even the stick up his ass is crooked.
- he’s stealing from himself.
- Mitch McConnell worships him.
- diseases ignore him out of professional courtesy.
- he can’t even see straight.
- the stench of corruption seeks out his advice.
Donald tRump is so dumb
- he thinks living in a stable makes him a genius.
- the elevator that doesn’t go all the way to the top slipped it’s cables and crashed into the subbasement.
- the happy meal is missing the fries, the burger, the drink, the desert and the toy was crushed by and elephant.
- he can’t chew gum at the same time.
Yesterday 2thanks suggested I offer a simile to be used in the welcome message he’s putting together for us. So far I have:
- like a bacon-wrapped pork tenderloin at a vegan potluck
- like a drunken unicorn at a temperance meeting
What do you think?
The new publication time for Evening Shade is 7:30PM Eastern.
Our friend arhpdx led the GNR charge this morning. Huzzah!: Good News Roundup for April 8, 2020