Today's Home School Assignment
Good morning, kids! Time to rise and shine. Happy Monday! Because it's the start of a new week, we won’t pile a ton of home-school work on you and your parents today. Your assignment has to do with a subject called chronology, which Merriam-Webster defines as "an arrangement (as of events) in order of occurrence." Chronology is important in everything from solving criminal cases to assembling biographies of people and timelines of world events.
Chronology is also handy for assessing just how badly a U.S. president can, stupidly and heartlessly, botch his response to a killer pandemic. For today's assignment, simply rearrange the dates below—which all correspond to specific times when President Donald J. Trump ignored an urgent, fact-based warning about the coronavirus outbreak—into their proper "chronological order" from earliest to latest. Good luck!
Continued…
COVID-19 Warnings Ignored by President Trump
(A Partial List)
January 30, 2020: WHO declares virus a global health emergency
May, 2018: Warnings not to disband NSC Pandemic Task Force
January 1, 2020: Virus begins to dominate info in Trump's PDBs
March 11, 2020: Hair-on-fire email chain from former DHS director
October, 2019: Funding pulled for pandemic early-warning system
January 27, 2020: Standing-room-only NSC Situation Room briefing
February 14, 2020: NSC memo: “U.S. Government Response to Novel Coronavirus”
Late November, 2019: Intelligence officials issue dire threat assessment
February 5, 2020: Funding request by HHS for pandemic equipment denied by OMB
January 2017: 70-page warning from outgoing Obama administration
January 28, 2020: Email via Dr. Carter Mecher, Department of Veterans Affairs
January, 2018: Results of HHS pandemic simulation released
February 24, 2020: Dr. Roberk Kedlac presents plan titled “Four Steps to Mitigation”
January 29, 2020: Urgent memo from trade adviser Peter Navarro
When you're done rearranging them in chronological order, have Mom and Dad go over your answers using this handy guide. Then enjoy some oatmeal-raisin cookies with Ovaltine. Great job, kiddos.
And now, our feature presentation…
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Cheers and Jeers for Monday, April 13, 2020
Note: We're going to break some ground Friday when Cheers and Jeers hits Zoom for a LIVE half-hour edition of Rum & Social Distancing FRIDAY (4pm PT/ 7pm ET). I'll be hosting, with special guests Markos Moulitsas, Mark Sumner, Denise Oliver Valez, Lauren Reichelt (better known here as TheFatLadySings), and Paul Hogarth. Space is limited, so see Neeta's post here and leave a comment there to RSVP. Hope you can make it.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til the start of National Pet Week: 20
Percent of Americans polled by ABC News who say they're wearing a mask when they leave the house: 55%
Number of hours Trump has spent talking at his political rallies disguised as White House coronavirus briefings: 21
Percent of voters in a new CNN poll who trust Biden and Trump, respectively, to do a better job of handling the coronavirus emergency: 52%, 43%
Percent who trust Biden and Trump, respectively, to do a better job on health care: 57%, 39%
Percent of women in that poll who plan to vote for Biden over Trump: 62%
Percent of Americans who have had music lessons, according to some web site: 40%
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Weekend sports recap…
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JEERS to keeping an eye on bad things. Since this pandemic is going to go on awhile, it makes sense to maintain at least a weekly benchmark of the awfulness for the C&J historical record. Two weeks ago there were 288,000 confirmed cases of COVID-19 and 7,000 deaths. Last week there were 337,000 confirmed cases and 9,600 deaths. As of this morning: 560,000 confirmed cases and 22,000 deaths. (New York now has more confirmed cases than any other country) Judging by last week's polling, C&J's new mathematical formula—"The Dotard Equation"—continues to hold up with uncanny accuracy:
[Number of COVID-19 infections] + [Number of COVID-19 deaths] = The President's Legacy.
Stockholm: Please donate the winnings from my Nobel Prize in Mathematics to food banks. Thx.
CHEERS to good advice. Oh, happy day. The president finally—finally—stepped up to the plate and, realizing how all the gaslighting and bullshit coming out of the White House press briefings were interfering with the response to the pandemic emergency, stood up late last week and said "enough." This is leadership:
“The biggest mistake any [of] us can make in these situations is to misinform, particularly when we’re requiring people to make sacrifices and take actions that might not be their natural inclination. … Speak the truth. Speak it clearly. Speak it with compassion. Speak it with empathy for what folks are going through."
So thank you for your words of truth, Mr. President—Barack Hussein Obama. Meanwhile, the current sitting POTUS will spend his Monday accusing Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer of sneaking into Americans' bedrooms at night and coughing on them as part of an elaborate George Soros-concocted scheme to steal the 2020 election, and proposing that the only way to protect yourself is to take a lupus drug he can't pronounce because "what do you have to lose?" Moral of the story: the president really should listen to the president.
CHEERS to #3. Happy 277th birthday to founding father and President #3 Thomas Jefferson. Cormac O'Brien's book Secret Lives of the U.S. Presidents sums up the "Sage of Monticello" rather well (although we're quick to do a facepalm over his ownership and treatment of slaves which was, shall we say, deplorable):
Thomas Jefferson was the walking, talking embodiment of the Enlightenment, a polymath whose list of achievements is as long as it is incredibly varied.
As if penning the Declaration of Independence, sitting as governor of Virginia during the Revolution, and serving as Secretary of State in George Washington's first term weren't enough, he went on to do much more—architecture, linguistics, agriculture, philosophy, music, prose, you name it. While others dabbled, Jefferson mastered.
He left behind a vast collection of essays and correspondence, which reveal a mind of stunning complexity and apparent contradictions. Jefferson was an avowed abolitionist whose fortune relied on a large population of slaves, a forward-thinking humanist whose opinions on minorities such as Native Americans could be truly alarming; a man whose awkwardness around women stood in stark contrast to his legendary romances.
Pay your respects here. Jefferson, by the way, was also "fond of greeting ambassadors in his pajamas—a practice that most of them found appalling." If you ring our doorbell tonight, I'll treat ya to a free reenactment from six feet away.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to happy endings. 50 years ago this week, en route to the moon, Apollo 13 commander Tom Hanks Jim Lovell Are you sure it was Jim Lovell and not Tom Hanks, I think it was Tom Hanks Jim Lovell announced, "Houston, we've got a problem" after Richard Nixon used his Sith powers to cause an oxygen tank to explode. (Did too! Look it up!)
Through sheer brilliance on the part of NASA's team and the crew, they returned safely four days later. A "successful failure" is what they called that mission. Or as it's also known: "a typical day at Fox News."
P.S. Only 732 monthly payments to go and Jim Lovell will have paid for the damage. (They begged him to buy State Farm exploding-oxygen-tank insurance, but did he listen? Noooo...)
CHEERS to hangin' out with some big brains. The folks at Run For Something, who have been amazingly successful at recruiting and training people, especially women, to run for office at every level of government, know that the coronavirus lockdowns have been hard on people. So this week they've assembled daily panels of all-stars to do some brain dumpin', and you're invited to soak it all in, starting today:
With so many of us staying home to protect our neighbors, it's the perfect time for progressive leaders to come together—right on your screen. This week, we’re hosting Front Row Seat, our new virtual series featuring some of politics most influential leaders. Throughout the week, a surprise panel of folks will take on different issues in our democracy. Nothing is off the table: We’re talking 2020 presidential elections, progressive leadership, women in office, and, of course, the long term ramifications of COVID-19 on our communities.
Here’s how it works: Every day at 10:00 am ET we will announce the day’s panel and the incredible line-up. We've announced a few of our guests—like Cecile Richards, Howard Dean, and Valerie Jarrett—but more will be surprises the day of each event. We don't say this lightly: The line-up here rules.
There's a recommended donation of$25—well worth it, since this is a great group—or you can be part of the host committee and get some extra perks for $100. Click here for details and registration. To give you an idea of the thought and care that went into booking the guests for these seminars: I'm nowhere to be found.
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Ten years ago in C&J: April 13, 2010
CHEERS to draining the WMD swamp. I have good news and bad news. Good news: at yesterday's nuclear summit the leader of Ukraine said his country was getting rid of all its highly-enriched uranium. Bad news: He also said his country had already flushed it down the john. Guess that explains all the rats bench-pressing BMWs in Kiev.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to previews of coming attractions. In China, a ray of hope...
I’m so looking forward to being able to do that again with my best friend. The Brach’s delivery driver.
Have a tolerable Monday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
“We’re capable of love and compassion for each other Let us also show love and compassion for the animals who are with us on this planet. Let us all live in the Cheers and Jeers kiddie pool together.”
—Jane Goodall
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