Cabin Fever? Join Us This Friday PM for Some Zoom Fun
If you're going stir crazy during the lockdown, Daily Kos plans to turn that frown upside-down during our first-ever live C&J event via Zoom this Friday.
The live-stream starts at 4pm Pacific Time (5 Mountain, 6 Central, 7 Eastern, 0 Greenwich Mean), and our hand-picked all-star lineup includes…
Ha ha! I have strategically created a page break to send you down below the fold…
As I was saying, the lineup includes a virtual who’s who of Daily Kos talent, knowledge, and wisdom...plus me:
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Daily Kos writers Mark Sumner, Denise Oliver-Valez, and Lauren Reichelt (aka TheFatLadySings), all three of whom have contributed superior work writing about the effects of COVID-19 on various communities.
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Musical guests Markos Moulitsas and Paul Hogarth.
- And opportunities to throw things at your screen every time host Bill in Portland Maine shows up to perform the bare minimum he needs in order to get his SAG-AFTRA card approved.
How to watch our Zoom-a-palooza:
Space is limited and you need to reserve a spot, so see Neeta's post here and leave a comment to RSVP if you’d like to join us. Or send her a kosmail here. She'll send you the secret password that’ll get you under the virtual velvet ropes Friday.
This is a bold new experiment in the 18-year history of this blog. And if there’s one thing we know about bold new experiments in the history of this blog, they’re hilarious. We hope you can make it.
And now, our feature presentation...
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Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, April 15, 2020
Note: If someone walks up to within six feet of you and demands to know what makes you think you’re so gosh-darn special, look ‘em in the eye and tell 'em: “opposable thumbs.” That usually stuns them just long enough for you to use your ACME Extend-O Tongs to steal their toilet paper. That’s my experience, anyway. —Miss Manners
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By the Numbers:
Months 'til Tax Day 2020: 3
Percent of Americans surveyed by USA Today-Ipsos in early March and early April, respectively, who believed the coronavirus was a "high threat" to the global economy: 47%, 76%
Percent of Americans surveyed in early March and early April, respectively, who believed the coronavirus was a "high threat" to them personally: 15%, 29%
Percent approval for Dr. Anthony Fauci in the latest Quinnipiac poll: 78%
Number of additional employees Amazon is hiring to meet demand: 75,000
Percent chance that a federal judge just ruled that Alabama can't ban abortions during the coronavirus crisis: 100%
Percent of the world's population that lives in the northern hemisphere, according to some web site: 90%
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Mid-week Rapture Index: 186 (including 5 plagues and 1 savior with a plumber's license). Soul Protection Factor 19 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Outsourced…
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CHEERS to doing the end-run shuffle. No. No. No. What the states on the east and west coast are doing is not secession or treason. Not even close. Jeeez! It's no different from when states get together as a subset of our mighty republic to, say, cut greenhouse gas emissions in the face of federal obstruction. So while the right-wing hyperventilates over a perceived power grab in their overactive imaginations, I give a gold star to these efforts in the face of federal chaos and dithering:
Democratic governors in the Northeast and along the West Coast on Monday announced separate state compacts to coordinate one of their biggest challenges in the weeks to come: How to begin reopening society amid the coronavirus pandemic.
The governors made separate announcements just hours after President Donald Trump said on Twitter that it was his decision to decide when to “open up the states.” […]
[New Jersey] is in a coalition with its Northeastern neighbors—Connecticut, Delaware, New York, Pennsylvania and Rhode Island. The governors of California, Oregon and Washington announced similar plans Monday. While each state is building its own plan, the three West Coast states have agreed to a framework saying they will work together, put their residents’ health first and let science guide their decisions.
Some of the Northeastern states coordinated last month as they ordered businesses to shut down. States also have been sharing medical supplies.
As you'd expect, Trump is taking the news well, declaring himself king over everyone everywhere. He also proclaimed that when he's done using the Constitution as toilet paper he plans to move on to the Declaration of Independence.
CHEERS to adapting to change in a world gone mad, mad I tell you. The coronavirus lockdown is shuttering businesses left and right up here in Maine, and that's putting the squeeze on advertising revenue at our local TV and radio stations. So we're starting to see something that's become as rare as a Republican at a MENSA meeting: TV ads that take up a whole minute instead of just 30, 15, or 5 seconds. One of the first people to air one is Democrat Sara Gideon, the Speaker of the House in our state legislature who will be the beneficiary of a blue wave up here in November that knocks “perpetually-concerned" Senator Susan Collins out of office. It's a no-frills ad that taps into coronavirus anxiety, social distancing, and the explosion of live-streaming. Message: we may be isolated from one another but we’re in this together and I'm still listening:
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Collins, fighting for her political life, is also running ads up here, and they're the polar opposite. She stares at a camera from a nondescript room and lies about COVID-related accomplishments she hasn't accomplished. Suffice it to say they're a preview of where she'll find herself less than seven months from today: all alone and talking to the walls.
CHEERS to special deliveries. Republicans forcing Badger State residents to stand in long lines at polling places last week during the apex of a terrifying viral pandemic was the height of stupidity, and confirmation that, yes, the GOP is willing to kill people in pursuit of power. (On the plus side, liberals clobbered conservatives across the board, including that all-important state Supreme Court seat.) But images from the Wisconsin clusterf*ck have rocketed vote-by-mail to the forefront, and now America's most beloved citizen is keeping it there for the duration:
Michelle Obama [threw] her support behind expanding vote-by-mail options, advisers tell Axios, with her voting rights group [When We All Vote] embracing legislation before Congress amid coronavirus fears. It's the first time the celebrity-backed organization has endorsed federal legislation—and it comes as Democrats await the Obamas' return to the political stage to help Joe Biden.
"There is nothing partisan about striving to live up to the promise of our country; making the democracy we all cherish more accessible; and protecting our neighbors, friends and loved ones as they participate in this cornerstone of American life,” the former first lady said in a statement provided to Axios.
You might say she's...wait for it...putting her "stamp" on the issue. Ha ha ha!!! (Where do you suppose should I put my pending Mark Twain Prize for American Humor...the mantle or the credenza?)
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to walking and chewing gum at the same time…on steroids. Remember a year ago when it was discovered that Virginia Governor Ralph Northam once, in his youth, dressed for a party in blackface? The knee-jerk reaction was almost comically over-the-top, and even black Virginians were like, 'Hey, if he apologizes and then goes on to do some good governing, we're cool.' Today, Governor Northam is not only competently dealing with the coronavirus emergency, he just signed a slew of bills into law that secure the commonwealth's amazing transformation from red state to blue.
There's the Virginia Values Act that expands non-discrimination protections for LGBTQ people and adds all-new protections in employment and public accommodations for all Virginians. He signed multiple worker protection bills. There's an embarrassment of playing field-leveling riches in the Voting Rights Bill that makes election day a state holiday, expands early voting and election-day voting hours, and automatically registers everyone who uses the DMV. He signed gun control measures into law. He decriminalized marijuana. He rolled back abortion restrictions. How about criminal justice reform? Yup…there's criminal justice reform. And last but not least, he gave Virginia cities and towns the right to do what they want with confederate statues, including "contextualizing" them or outright tearing them down.
But other than that? Total slacker.
JEERS to the unsinkable ship—the one that's in the process of sinking over yonder. 108 years ago this morning, the Titanic plunged to the icy depths of the Atlantic after scraping an iceberg. Today it seems an apt analogy for the Republican party: a once-proud icon thought to be invincible that, because of poor design, shoddy workmanship and an air of arrogance on the part of the people in charge, sank itself because it wasn't looking where it was going and is now a rusting hulk stuck in the mud and you can't do anything with it but re-arrange the deck chairs. But the movie was pretty good.
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Ten years ago in C&J: April 15, 2010
CHEERS to justice served. Let us not forget that the Catholic Church isn't the only institution owned and operated by ultra-conservatives that's getting battered with pervert accusations. There's also the Boy Scouts of America, which a jury just tied up in knots:
Jurors on Tuesday found the Boy Scouts of America negligent and awarded $1.4 million to a former Portland man who was abused by an assistant Scoutmaster in the early 1980s, following a three-week trial in which secret Scout"perversion files" were used as evidence. The jury also decided the Irving, Texas-based Scouts organization was liable for punitive damages that will be decided in a separate phase of the trial. That would be in addition to the $1.4 million.
The punitive damages could be as high as $24 million. As an Eagle Scout, I'm not so much disgusted (although I am) as disappointed. As so often happens in these kinds of "testosterone clubs," it's more important to protect the illusion of moral superiority than it is to actually act morally (i.e. boot the offenders ASAP and get law enforcement involved) and take the occasional P.R. lumps. You never hear about these kinds of scandals in the Girl Scouts or, for that matter, among nuns. Curious, dat.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to the proper to handle a baby. Paula Reid of CBS News appears to have come close to figuring out how to deal with a malignant narcissist. Don’t take bullshit for an answer:
I’ll give her a 9 out of ten for that exchange. For a perfect score, ya gotta throw the shoes.
Happy humpday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
Bill in Portland Maine is a troll. And like all trolls, he is never funny and he never laughs; he only cheers or jeers.
—Nate White
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