tRump has moved to use emergency $1200 checks as a new opportunity to expand his naming rights beyond buildings he doesn’t own. He is going to plaster his name onto checks he didn’t allocate the funds for disbursing, delaying the release of those checks because his ego needs the strokes. We have been unable to confirm whether or not he thinks these are the “checks” part of “checks and balances.”
I’m not a doctor. I don’t play one on TV. The last time I studied abnormal psychology was a freshman Psych class that met at 8AM on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. I think I attended the first class, the midterm and the final, squeaking through with a weak ‘C’.
Having established my impeccable credentials as a psychological diagnostician, I’m ready to share my professional opinion about tRump. That boy is working without any cards in his deck. He’s a fully vested gibbering nutjob. He couldn’t pass a sanity check if he studied all the answers. He also couldn’t pass an IQ test, a lie detector test or a sobriety test (he may not drink, but he’s drunk on something). In fact, the only thing tRump can pass is gas (and BS).
Psychopath, sociopath, malignant narcissist or flaming asshole; it’s all the same. He’s more self-centered than any atomic nucleus. He’s more thirsty for recognition than a man dying in the desert for want of water. He is a pitiful excuse for a pile of crap. In summation, he sucks.
He’s also working on putting his name out there in a few more places.
- All gloves, masks, gowns, tongue depressors, ventilators and hydroxychloroquine pills will be confiscated until “Brought to you by Donald John tRump” can be engraved, stamped or printed on their surfaces.
- All monuments to other presidents will be renamed as tRump monuments with tRump’s likeness replacing his predecessor’s. In places where this would create confusion, Jared will have the final say. Mount tRumpmore will now have four tRump faces. The Pointy tRumpingtown monument, the giant Reflecting Pool tRump and the Potomac Park tRump all surround the National Mall in tRumpingtown, DC (Jared has dropped everything to concentrate on this task). Jared doesn’t know about the Roosevelt Memorial so that one is safe for now.
- Many national monuments will be renamed to refer to tRump. For example Jackson Hole National Monument will now be tRump’s Hole National Monument. Devil’s Tower, Wyoming will become tRump Tower West.
- The National Portrait Gallery will become the tRump Portrait Gallery and all paintings will be of Donald tRump.
- tRump’s signature will be added to the Declaration of Independence (and the Magna Carta as soon as Boris completely recovers).
- All republican senators and congressweasels (except Romney) will have the words, “Owned by Donald John tRump” tattooed on their foreheads.
- All Russian hookers will have his name tattooed on their buttocks as “tRUMP was here*.
- All birth certificates will be rewritten naming Donald John tRump as the father, just so he can say, “Who’s your daddy?” and have everyone will be legally required to say, “You are.”
- He’s not doing this one himself. The House is working on a bill to rename all post offices as tRump Memorial Post Offices in order to keep tRump and the republicans from closing them.
He’s leaving coffins alone, as his daughter Ivanka has already started pushing tRump Coffins.
Most toilet paper manufacturers are warming to the idea of placing tRump’s name and likeness on every sheet. The lone exception is Charles Koch who would rather kiss tRump’s ass than wipe his own.
*Suggested by Ed ____.
karij was back as chief gnu today: Even broken glass will not stop us! Wednesday Good News Roundup
Mokurai took us on a solar trip today: Renewable Wednesday: Ukraine