It Doesn’t Matter If It’s Not 5 O’Clock Yet
This is a pandemic. The 5 O’Clock rule no longer applies. As an aside, I think this gives me an idea for my long-delayed apartment remodeling...
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Cheers. And happy day ending in y whatever it is.
Continued…
Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, April 16, 2020
Note: We're breaking new ground Friday when Cheers and Jeers hits Zoom for a LIVE half-hour edition of Rum & Social Distancing FRIDAY (4pm PT/ 7pm ET). I'll be hosting, with special guests Markos Moulitsas, Mark Sumner, Denise Oliver Valez, Lauren Reichelt (better known here as TheFatLadySings), and Paul Hogarth. Music, chats, polls, awkward buffering moments—we got it all. Space is limited, so see Neeta’s post here and leave a comment to RSVP. Hope you can make it. If you like watching NASCAR events for the pileups, you’ll looooove this.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til National DNA Day: 9
Drop in JPMorgan's profits in the first quarter because of the coronavirus: 69%
The last year America went an entire month of March without a school shooting in the U.S., as it did this year: 2002
Years since an incumbent lost a state Supreme Court seat in Wisconsin, as conservative Dan Kelly did to liberal Jill Karofsky on Monday: 12
Percent of Americans in a new PRRI survey who believe we need laws to protect LGBT citizens from discrimination: 72%
Percent who support marriage equality, up from 36% in 2007: 62%
Years since the "Pierre Brassau" monkey art hoax: 56
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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
I was all set to write a column about the nuclear option—the proposal to change the rules of the Senate in order to get President Bush's most questionable judicial appointments through—when, lo, word came that there is no nuclear option anymore. It is now called "the constitutional option."
Who changed it? Why, the Republican Party, of course. Having found that "nuclear option" does not poll well, the Republicans simply decreed the rules change can no longer be described by that name. Further, the Republican Party sent media operatives around to major news organizations to inform them that anyone who fails to obey the new diktat on usage will be demonstrating the dread "liberal bias."
Since this particularly fateful rules change was first christened "the nuclear option" by Sen. Trent Lott of Mississippi in 2003, and has been called "the nuclear option" ever since—by Republicans, along with everybody else—I have to say this is a distinctly Orwellian development.
—April 2005
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Meanwhile, in the Biles household…….
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CHEERS to rallying the troops. Let's check in and see how the leaders of the left are reacting to Joe Biden's pledge to defeat Donald Trump and his orcs in November. Heavyweights Obama, Warren and Sanders all weighed in this week, and C&J was there to catch this EXCLUSIVE footage:
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The first wave of the attack will be brutal for Trump. His worst nightmare, in fact: a catapult barrage of fresh vegetables.
CHEERS to penning in the parasites. Tragic and chaotic as the coronavirus is, there are also some silver linings. We're reminding ourselves of just how amazing the world is without pollution. (Los Angeles is now the cleanest large city in the world? Are you freaking kidding me???) We're re-discovering the power of humanity when it pitches in together to overcome a global crisis. We're realizing that the federal government plays a huge role in keeping society running. And along those lines, we're also discovering that the right-wing freaks trying to turn the planet back into Nazi Germany are losing traction:
As voters turn overwhelmingly to government officials and experts to lead them through the crisis, they’ve lost the spotlight they’ve long depended on. […]
“This crisis is not like the other crises that the [right-wing] AfD [party] has benefited from, the euro crisis and the refugee crisis,” said Johannes Hillje, a Berlin-based political consultant and expert on the AfD’s communication and rhetorical tactics. “Both crises had an enemy which was an outsider … but now it’s a virus, and it’s spreading from within. The default populist narrative—us versus them, insiders versus outsiders—doesn’t work anymore.” […]
Meanwhile, Merkel’s steady, no-nonsense presence seems to be exactly what Germans want right now. In a survey released by the German broadcaster ZDF last week, an overwhelming 80 percent approved of Merkel’s handling of the crisis, and an even higher 88 percent approved of the government’s work during this time.
If the world swings back toward representative democracy and the authoritarian fuckwads end up back on the margins of society, it will be thanks to a virus one-thirtieth the diameter of a human hair, the aftermath of which can be summed up in six words: Weirdest Nobel Peace Prize ceremony ever.
JEERS to disrespecting the one whut brung ya to the dance. Just a quick reminder that Rupert Murdoch’s flagship joint has been crazy for a long time. Five years ago today, Fox News openly wondered if we should bring back literacy tests during elections so that we don’t have a bunch of dense, ignorant, fact-averse truthiness trolls voting on the critical issues and candidates of the day. Which brings up a serious question: why does Fox want to prevent its viewers from voting?
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to expanding your space. Here's some cool news from Arizona, Where Democrats absolutely have a shot at turning the state blue this November. Trump's numbers are wheezing down there (in fairness, it's a dry wheeze), and astronaut Mark Kelly (D) just keeps expanding his lead against incumbent Martha McSally (R) in the U.S. senate race (John McCain'sold seat). He's currently nine points ahead—51% to 42%—in the latest OH Predictive Insights poll, up two from the last poll. And…..cue the clichés:
Mark's numbers are out of this world
Looks like McSally's popularity is getting a lesson in gravity
When Mark wins, Democrats are going to be over the moon
McSally thinks she's going to win? She must be high.
Mark's gonna eat her launch
Mark's going to help Sa-turn the Senate into a Democratic majority
When Mark wins, his Spacebook page is gonna go nuts
When McSally loses, she'll take solace listening to the blues on her Nep-tunes account
In short, Mark Kelly is gonna rocket to Washington, but not before enjoying a cosmo at the victory-party space bar using a big dipper. Help me I can't stop.
CHEERS to swabbing your mouth deck. Properly subduing the coronavirus starts with—say it with me—testing, testing, testing. But—say it with me again—testing, testing, testing has been really shitty in this country, thanks mostly to Republican obstruction led by the dithering White House. But the good guys are, if you believe this CNBC report, riding to the rescue:
Abbott Laboratories announced Wednesday the launch of its third test for the coronavirus and said it could be screening up to 20 million people for antibodies for Covid-19 by June. […]
“Antibody testing is an important next step to tell if someone has been previously infected,” Abbott said in a press release. “It will provide more understanding of the virus, including how long antibodies stay in the body and if they provide immunity,” the company said.
Abbott’s two other coronavirus tests, which only recently were introduced, determine whether a person has Covid-19 now. One of those tests can tell in 13 minutes or less if a person at a testing site is currently infected, while the other test is performed in labs.
When asked when they'd have a test that would be able to detect an I.Q. in Trump's head, Abbott issued a statement that read in its entirety: "Dammit, man, we're virus screeners, not miracle workers."
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Ten years ago in C&J: April 16, 2010
JEERS to the end of an oily era. Yesterday the last sardine processing plant in both Maine and America—Stinson Seafood in Gouldsboro—closed its doors.
Fighting declining demand and a changing business climate, production at Maine canneries has been sliding since peaking at 384 million cans in 1950. Last year, the Stinson plant produced 30 million cans. Lela Anderson, 78, has worked in sardine canneries since the 1940s and says it "just doesn't seem possible this is the end."
But not everyone is unhappy with the news. Namely, sardines.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to horse power. You know what officially turns 56 this week? The original pony car, the “car that dreams are made of”—the Ford Mustang:
Making its debut at the New York World’s Fair, the first Ford Mustang proved to be one of the industry’s biggest hits ever, quickly requiring the automaker to fire up three assembly plants—two more than planned—to meet soaring demand. Interest was so intense, then-Ford President Lee Iacocca and Mustang landed on the covers of both Time and Newsweek, a unique coup.
Yet, the Mustang almost didn’t happen. The car was rushed to market only after another major Ford product program collapsed. … Ford’s designers and engineers worked feverishly to pull the project together in barely two years, about half the time it normally took to develop a new car from the ground up. But the first production models were already in dealer showrooms in time for the World’s Fair debut April 17, 1964.
Happy anniversary, Mustang fans. But don’t get cocky and challenge my Metro bus to a game of chicken. The driver dangles the losers' hood ornaments from his mirror.
Have a nice Thursday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
50,000 Year-Old Cheers and Jeers Kiddie Pool Shows Neanderthals Were Technologically Advanced
—SciTechDaily
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