Guess we all have some kind of self-isolation story, right? Me, I've ticked off seven weeks of working from home, nervously watching the growing number of cases in my county and suddenly noticing the drop in people walking down my street. While I sometimes think that people in general aren't taking this seriously, I know I am, and I've gotten resolute in not going out.
I haven't even been to the store in all that time, rushing to enter the world of online ordering and contactless delivery. And what a strange journey that has been because I have caught myself starting to become fixated on ordering specific items (no, not toilet paper, which you can't really get online anyway) to the point where I keep ordering more than I normally would. My current fix? Coffee creamer. Of all the things that I want to make sure I have, I keep ordering coffee creamer. Here's the kicker: for someone dealing with bouts of acid reflux, why the sudden urge to drink coffee? I've gotten into cold brew, and as I have navigated which stores are good at delivery (Whole Foods, Walmart, Target) and which one stinks (Safeway), I've started breaking down my orders into groups based on what I need. Oh, and making sure to order early at the start of the week to get a good delivery time and the best chance of getting everything I want.
And what do I want? Coffee creamer. What does a person who limits his coffee to about eight ounces and only in the morning need with seven bottles of creamer? Or a growing collection of cold brew coffee? Really, it's become the strangest obsession: put a couple orders in to make sure I get either Starbucks La Colombe cold brew. Don't wait too long, I tell myself, even with three bottles of either in the fridge: go ahead and order, get more, just in case!
But just in case of what? While I still have complete disdain for the toilet paper hoarders, it's dawned on me that I've just substituted that with something else. Should I order more sliced deli meat for sandwiches, too? Probably, I tell myself, and I should likely to do very soon, and while we're at it, go ahead and get two more bottles of creamer (there's a limit, you know!) and cold brew. But which brand? I can only get La Colombe at the Target or Whole Foods, but the latter doesn't have the creamer I like. Better make two orders.
And so on. This is how it's been for me for me. While I have told a friend to stop thinking that the food supply is going to collapse, here I am making a mental list of ordering more stuff at least twice a week. Maybe everybody else is doing some version of the same mental game: looking at their refrigerators and making sure that it *never* looks like it's getting low on anything because then it's game over. And then I start looking at my friend through increasingly slitted eyes: maybe *this* bastard is the reason I can't get *three* coffee creamers.
These are definitely the times that try mens' souls.