A Serious Case of Covid 19: getting through it
Before. There are sometimes subtle hints as to what is coming. For example, the two days before I became ill I had chills briefly once each day. On the second day, there was a passing thought; "my body was trying to fight something off" yet, I felt really good. And then...the following morning of March 02, 2020, I woke with no energy, chills, feeling like I had been hit by a truck, low grade fever, strong headache, slight stomach ache, diarrhea, more than usual post nasal drip and coughing. These first days it seemed that, yes, I was sick but I still had energy and strength and could get somewhat out and about at least for walks with my dog.
In less than a week things changed. My chills became constant and demanded layers of warm clothes with the heat turned up. My energy was being sapped away, night sweats made sleeping chaos, diarrhea persisted, post nasal drip escalated, the cough and then shortness of breath took over and my temperature went to 102.4. Out of nowhere, I lost taste and smell with my mouth like it was full of cotton. Where had my saliva gone? I was continually drinking water to stop this but to no avail. My lips cracked and then peeled. I quit eating as I had no appetite, and lost weight. There was a time or two when I had extreme dizziness when trying to walk. My life had come to existing on the couch and in my bed. I could barely get around and mostly slept. When I did wake up, it was for short periods and then I just wanted to sleep more.
The thought of focusing or thinking was gone. No watching or listening to the news, no reading, no TV and maybe minimal computer time. All things I previously did every day had evaporated. My only connection was with friends and family who were calling in pretty frequently. They were worried. I would rally for the brief calls because they assured some normalcy. My friends and family mostly lived away or were still deep into work and their own live so no one actually saw me and how I was really doing. They sensed that something was wrong and eventually arranged to have a person drive me to be tested for Covid 19 but I refused. After all, the consulting nurse whom I called twice suggested that I had the flu and I wanted to believe that because I had never had it before. I also did not want to go to the ER as I could feel that my shortness of breath was not really into my lungs. At this point in time the focus on Covid was shortness of breath and respiratory problems effecting the lungs. I thought this did not fully describe me, plus I had no desire to pick up anything else. It was all I could do to deal with whatever I already had.
Having never been this sick before, and being stubborn and in a lot of denial I initially thought this would pass quickly like everything else I had ever had. Wrong. It slowly felt like I was on an extended journey going somewhere that I had never been before. I was close to what? Dying? Checking out? I slipped into a calm zone of sleeping a lot where I did not care but I also realized, in occasional moments, that something needed to change or I was only going down.
But what could change? For me having no energy, physical strength or initiative, and having lost weight were most significant. The only remedy I could think of was to force myself to eat regardless of no desire to, slight nausea, and diarrhea and no taste or smell. Also, everything else I tried made no difference towards improving. The ibuprofen did not work so I quickly stopped it, neither did drinking more water or Vaseline on my cracked lips. The high heat and extra clothes did not keep the chills from coming, my nasal drip kept pouring, and my taste and smell were just gone as was my appetite. So I began eating with nothing more than a little bread, peanut butter and a drop of jam. Easy.
Within 24 hours I felt a spark of energy! Something was working so I continued. I began to crave more carbs, protein and a little fruit. Veggies were unappealing for the longest time. During this time of about 7-9 days, I felt like a baby needing to eat, sleep, and relieve myself every 1, 2, or 3 hours until bedtime. But who cared? I now had hope and a small improvement every day.
As my eating expanded I would email grocery orders to my son who lives nearby and he would drop them off outside my front door. By then shelter in place orders were in effect so it felt understandable. As a result when he came by I never saw him. He had no visual proof of how sick I was so the denial went on.
With my gradual healing I decided " no pushing myself through the day; " "no quick jump back to what was before." Whatever my body wanted , which was not a lot, I did. Sleepy then sleep; hungry then eat; or wash away the signs of being ill then shower. The hardest was the shower. It could take 20 minutes as I could only for example, get the water hot and then have to rest, dry my upper body and then rest, etc. etc. Oh, but the end result felt divine! Life was simple and this all felt necessary.
By about day 12 or so my temperature had dropped to almost normal! The night sweats, mercifully, stopped. Other symptoms below my neck had diminished and my energy was up to where I could move around more. I had ideas of getting out of the house for walks and going to the grocery for myself!
The symptoms above my head, in-spite of my body recovering continued full force. I knew I had a horrible sinus infection which I had had before. Although this was the worst I had ever had. I began reaching out to my Ear, Nose and Throat specialist but it took almost a week to get him as the initial chaos of the pandemic was hitting the medical community. My head was miserable until the miracle of anti-biotics took hold. I definitely needed them for a full two weeks. Thank you Dr.-----. Now my entire body was moving me towards full health again.
The most affirming thing through this experience was my 15 pound dog. She knew I was ill and kept pace with my illness. In the beginning, when I was not that sick, she expected things to be as they always were although we had shortened all our interactions and walks. When I got sicker and sicker she seemed to know and would lie next to me. She also quit expecting to be walked. I was only feeding her once a day. It was fortunate that I already had a dog door so she could freely go into the backyard. When I was finally well enough to move about and do some things, I was shocked to see the too many to count piles of dog poo. Had I been out of it that long? I was thankful that she could take care of herself on that one. As I improved she came to expect more. She would go to the front door and cry or paw on it or both. She meant "enough of this and let's get back to our long walks and routine." I too wanted that but it would come more slowly.
As I look back, I asked myself how did she know. In retrospect I realized that she would come up and smell my mouth. She continued to do that until I was almost fully recovered. I am guessing that my breath told her the state of my health. She is after all a hunter and lives by her nose so I am not surprised really. My other dog would have missed the whole thing if he were alive. He was a herder and his chief function was to get you where you were going as soon as possible! Not much smelling for him!
I think the shock and fear of how sick I was did not hit me until I started to get better. When I was going downhill, my reference to my past health seemed to go with it. After I began to heal I could compare how I had been with how healthy I always was. That was when it got scary. How could I have been THAT ill and for that long? But I was. I also realized that I did not ever want to be that sick again with ANYTHING. These feelings are fading as time passes and as the vivid memories fade. It also helps that I feel my usual energetic self. It took almost 9 weeks after I became ill for all my symptoms to go away. Taste and smell were the last to return. But they came back too.
BTW, whenever I went out while ill and to this day, I have ALWAYS worn a mask, carried hand sanitizer, and in stores wear gloves. In recovery, I sanitized everything that I had come in contact with and still do as needed: in the house, around the front door and in my car. I washed everything that went in the washer as well with bleach. The few clothes I wore I had to throw out. They brought back too many painful memories.
At this last edit it has now been over 10 weeks since I first got ill and I am still very healthy post Covid.