Snark, NJ, May 22, 2020. Earlier this week, President Trump was furious when Nancy Pelosi observed that he is at risk for side effects from hydroxychloroquine, the drug he is illegally taking, because he has a heart condition and is “morbidly obese.” He lashed out and called Speaker Pelosi obese, shouting “no obese, no
obese, you’re the fatty.”
This had the same effect as Mitch McConnell’s angry reaction when somebody called him “Moscow Mitch.” The result was that the name stuck.
Indeed, some are contracting the words “morbidly obese” and calling Trump “Moby,” or “Moby Dickhead,” reminiscent of the most famous (and cruelist) whale in all of literature.
In Michigan yesterday, Trump again balked at wearing a mask to protect others from the potentially deadly effect of his droplets. News outlets have reported that he does not want to be photographed in a mask because, in his words, it makes him look ridiculous. The executives at a Ford plant forced him to wear one, and he relented on the condition that he would not be photographed in a mask. But someone photographed him anyway, prompting Attorney General Barr to open an investigation. He needn’t have worried. He looks even more
ridiculous without a mask, what with his orange-man makeup, tie-past-knees, angry face when hollering, and strange, frozen hairdo.
Others have explained that Trump fears that the image of him in a mask runs counter to his macho-man image that he tries to project.
When Trump got back “home” to the White House, First Lady Melania Trump insisted that he don a mask. They settled on one in which he would still look manly, mean, and macho. It is pictured below at right. He likes it better than the medically safer mask
pictured at the top of this story. The mask Melania gave him (see right) does not stop his droplets, but he cannot eat Barron. Melania conned him into wearing it by telling him that Hannibal wore it, and that Hannibal was a great and manly general.
Trump not only relented, but asked his son-in-law, Jared Kushner, to find Hannibal and ask him to serve in the National Security Council. “Need generals, running short on generals, get me a new general,” Trump instructed Jared. It is predictable that after weeks of study, including consulting his cousin-by-marriage who teaches history in a junior high school, Jared will come back and report that Hannibal died more than twenty centuries ago.