While Louie Gohmert is the quintessential fool on the hill, he has a lot of competition from his fellow republicans. But, if you travel down the street to a big white house on the right hand side, you’ll find a dangerous fool pleading with Gepeto to turn him into a real boi, who is giving Louie a run for his dunce cap.
Yesterday, Bunker Boi, crawled out from under his bed to claim he had fired someone who had very publicly resigned in protest over the betrayal of an alliance. He also claimed to have given that man a nickname he had earned at least twelve years before Donnie met him. That’s two heaping scoops of 100% pure “straight from the bull’s ass” prime bullshit. It’s something of a miracle tRump hasn’t drowned in the river of absolute crap he’s responsible for.
There’s more than just garden variety run-of-the-mill stupidity afoot in this week’s republican display of cruelty and indifference. Looking for a way to counter the grass roots popularity of Occupy Democrats, Kushner and his brainless trust, hit on the idea of a new republican movement — Occupy Churches.
After briefly toying with the idea of running things themselves, they oped to give operational control to toady par excrescence Boogaloo Billy Boi Barr. Working from his palatial lily pad, deep within the tRump swamp, Billy Boi was able to gather together a group of bullies, brutes and bad bois willing to assault peaceful protesters and occupy the grounds of a church and evict that church's clergy. This is consistent with Barr’s secret pledge to subvert, pervert and divert the resources of the Department of Justice to serve and protect Donald John tRump and the Rapture.
The after action report revealed some problems that will be addressed, as moving forward, they plan to occupy a church in every city Donnie visits between now and the election.
- President tRump will be coached in how to properly hold a bible during photo ops. Upside down and backward, while it may well be an accurate representation of tRump’s understanding of Christianity, is not a good look to be pushing in the evangelical community. Based on tRump’s demonstrated ability to learn, it should take between one and two months for him to be able to get it right about half the time.
- President tRump has requested that the pepper spray should taste more like ketchup as he didn’t understand why his burnt steak tasted so odd until Secretary Esper explained the lingering taste of the chemical used to disperse the protesters was still there for tRump to pick up as he waddled across the street. Robert Kraft was given an emergency grant of 82 million dollars (from the Covid-19 funding stream) to develop ketchup spray in time for Donnie’s next scheduled occupation walk.
- The hodgepodge of uniforms used by the tRump/Barr paramilitary will be standardized, so that their anonymity is even more anonymous. Stephen Miller has suggested brown shirts with lightning bolt insignias.
- Hope Hicks. Kayleigh McNinny, Melania and Ivanka tRump will be required to wear short skirts to increase the cheesecake wow factor for the the next photo op.
- All seized churches and their assets will be divided between Bill Barr, the tRump family and Paula White.
- Per Donald tRump’s specific request all members of the paramilitary tRump Brown Shirts will be issued with red MAGA hats and bayonets.
- Members of Trump's Evangelical Advisory Board will be given advance notice of future occupations so that they can precondition their faithful to happily swallow the transgressions.
Boogaloo Billy Boi Barr has requested that, in addition to the standard thoughts and prayers, all faithful members of Cult 45 should generously contribute the the William Barr Defense Fund.
Up the Resistance!
Memalicious
Cut and paste department. This is the regularly scheduled plea for readers. I’ve still only had to make two memes. You have it within your power to make me work. If you spread the word about Evening Shade and your spreadee announces themselves in the comments, you will become eligible to receive your very, very special noprize of a meme of your very own. All you have to do is jump up and get out there and start carnival barking, cajoling, proselytizing (or pimping, if you are of an irreligious bent). You could even pester and push. Procrastination is not an option — it’s a way of life.
chloris creator got us through another day with a wonderful roundup: Good News Roundup for Friday, June 5, 2020: The pansies are rising up!
Mokurai offered us a critique of Michael Moore’s lastest. Spoiler alert, he’s not a fan: Renewable Friday: Moore Movie Madness