IFC.com had a podcast a little while back on traumatic children's movies. One of their principal picks is 1985's 'Return To Oz', which sees Dorothy put in an asylum & threatened with electro-shock therapy.
I thought this topic was interesting, because I've heard friends talk from time to time about films that scared the hell out of 'em as a kid. However, when I use the term "traumatic", what we're really talking about are movies that first exposed children to the harsh realities of the world. The films that peeled away a bit of the innocent way children look at the world, and opened their eyes to a possible darker reality. Or it could of been that horror movies that you sneaked & watched on HBO when you shouldn't have been, and caused you to sleep with your light on for a month. These are the films that either made you cry your eyes out, or "scarred" you for life... or at least for a couple of weeks.
So I thought we might discuss the most traumatic film experiences.
I thought this might make for an interesting late-night distraction, so I thought I would start with toilet bowls & yogurt. One is a very silly, yet strangely interesting film. I was reminded of it the other day, and I hold it responsible for me having no desire to have yogurt since I was seven. The other is an absolute horribly shitty film that made children afraid to sit on the toilet.
► Ghoulies
This is one I've heard people talk about. The 'Ghoulies' films are probably just a tad above the God awful 'Troll 2' (which doesn't have any trolls, just vegetarian goblins). The 'Ghoulies' films are probably most remembered by people who as wee children decided to sneak and watch, but caught a surprise. 'Ghoulies' is sort of like 'Gremlin', except instead of cute, furry little Mogwais that turn into lizard things, this is about little demons summoned by devil worshipers. They sometimes hide in toilets, and rip people new assholes.
I can't tell you the amount of people I've heard talk about how they saw these movies as a kid, and then spent time trying to avoid going to the bathroom.
► The Stuff
"What you're supposed to do? You're supposed to EAT IT, that's all; you eat it and eat as much of it as you can and you KEEP eating it!"
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This is a movie that has stuck with me over the years. I guess it's because when I was kid the idea of being eaten by gelatinous goo creeped me the hell out. Whether it was '
The Blob' or Stephen King's
oil slick devouring people dumb enough to swim out to a raft, it just seems like a horrible way to go. Larry Cohen's '
The Stuff' is a little different. It's definitely a very cheesy/bad B-movie, but it tries to be social commentary along the lines of Romero's "
Dead" films. It has horrible acting, horrible
special effects, but an interesting premise.
The movie begins at an Alaskan mining operation. An old dude miner notices some white goo bubbling up out of the ground, and just like any normal sane person, old dude defies Darwin & decides to eat some white goo. Fast forward a bit in time & a new product called "The Stuff" has become a huge hit. People have started eating it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. At the same time, missing person reports have started to skyrocket, and people have noticed their family members acting strange.
The movie tries to be commentary on consumerism. How many products do people buy just because the commercial looked cool, without having any idea about what they're eating? The Stuff is a metaphor for a product like cigarettes. Even though cigarettes don't move on their own or jam themselves down peoples' throats, it is a product that is a) addictive, and b) kills a significant percentage of people that use it. So are smokers consuming the cigarettes, or are the cigarettes consuming them?
► Watership Down
Over the past few years, I've done a diary on the "Scariest Movies" around Halloween. I've seen mentions of this movie in various comments. I think a lot of parents unfamiliar with the book decided to pick this movie up for their children after just looking at the cover.....
"Oh! It a cartoon about cute bunnies! My little kids will love that. What could possibly be bad about this?"
Not only do you have dead & dying bunnies through... a lot of the film, but you also have bunnies caught in wires, and bunnies running for their lives from Nazi bunnies. Why not just pick up the Goddamn '
Saw' series, and unleash Jigsaw on your kids.
► The Transformers: The Movie
No, I'm not talking about the Michael Bay film. I'm talking about the 1986 old-school cartoon flick.
I've actually read articles where authors have talked about how Optimus Prime served as a male role-model for a lot of '80s kids without fathers. So when the news came there was going to be a "movie" about our favorite cartoon, kids were hyped. However, no one told the latchkey kids the real purpose of the movie was to introduce Hasbro's new line of Transformers' toys. Hasbro didn't give a shit about surrogate parenting. So not only do they kill off a good chunk of the original cartoon's characters, but they also kill Optimus Prime.....
This was met by theaters full of crying kids.
► Disney
No list like this is complete without Walt Disney. I've mentioned this before, but just compare the classic Disney films to the stuff kids watch now. When I was doing the diary on 'Star Trek' last week, someone brought up the similarities of vision between the two. Both Disney & Trek create idyllic worlds, but the "happily ever after" has only been achieved in both after great pain, struggle, and suffering that has brought revelation of a greater truth about the nature of things. The best Disney films are "Adult", and maybe the tragedy & struggle contained within them are what make them so memorable & beloved. And just think of the messes they would have been if Walt had opted to tone down the adult themes.
- Bambi - This is the classic example; Bambi's mother shot & killed, and then the forest fire.
- Old Yeller - Shotgun + Dog = Crying Children.
- The Lion King - A lion cub who must overcome his father being murdered by his uncle.
The movie that always got me is '
Dumbo.' The tears just rolled as a kid when Dumbo's mother is taken away from him, and she has to sing "
Baby Mine" through the bars of a cage.
► E.T.
Elliott: "He's a man from outer space and we're taking him to his spaceship."
Greg: "Well, can't he just beam up?"
Elliott: "This is reality, Greg."
If you were a little kid and saw this movie & didn't cry towards the end, you were either already dead inside or a future Republican.....
► Poltergeist
Tangina: "Cross over children. All are welcome. All welcome. Go into the Light. There is peace and serenity in the Light."
I think I can legitimately argue I was abused as a child, since my parents thought it would be a good idea to watch this thing as a young kid. Probably somewhat tame by today's standards, it scared the shit out of me as a kid. I think I was afraid of the television being on static for about a year after watching it. The one thing that people seem to remember the most is that clown.
This & other haunted house films taught me as a kid, that if your house doesn't want you... leave. Otherwise it will try to eat your kids, and then implode into another dimension.