BP was considering whether it would turn off the spillcams during its topkill operation beginning as early as Wednesday night. Although now it's decided to leave them on, I did find BP's original list to share with you.
- At last we can unveil our secret weapon: the Kraken! It's taken over a month, but we finally trained a sufficiently evil soul-stealing monster of the deep to wrap around the face of the oil well.
- Waitaminute, how did Goldman Sachs get down here?
- We originally installed one spillcam, but now there's 12. Just because it's asexual doesn't mean it wants to reproduce in public. Ya mind not staring all the time, peeps?
- We think the topkill has a 60 to 70 percent chance of working. Using our special BP "1,000 barrels/day" Math, that means chances are either 600 to 700 percent, or a PR stunt.
- May 25 is National Geek Day (Star Wars), Towel Day (Douglas Adams), and Wear Lilac Day (Terry Pratchett), so May 26 is Hangover Day for all the hard-working engineers.
- Dressing the ocean all in black, turning down lights, hopin' something happens to make us some more sweet crude....
- Top secret rehearsals for new reality show "So You Think You Can Stop An Oil Volcano?"
- Walruses! Bet you didn't know that walruses, sea lions, seals, and sea otters live deep in the Gulf of Mexico! (or so claimed by Minerals Management Services regulators reviewing over our blowout prevention plan)
- Speaking of MMS: methane crystals, or crystal meth? Gotta protect our source.
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and the number one reason spillcams were going to go dark:
- It seems that spillcams get wet. No one could possibly have foreseen that!