Nice. Last night, Stephen Colbert brought some more attention to what's happening in Benton Harbor, Michigan.
Harris had to strip the elected representatives of their power, or they might have opposed his ideas to save money, like merging the fire and police departments. 'Cause everybody knows the cheapest way to get a cat out of a tree is to just shoot it down. (Police Also Humane Society)
Now for some reason, the local officials didn't enjoy this electoral castration, so last week, city commissioners passed a resolution rescinding the emergency financial manager. But Harris immediately rescinded their rescinding on the legal grounds that they can kiss his ass. (Precedent: Sun v. Don't Shine)
Video and transcript below the fold.
And folks, we need economic help. Luckily, there's a story that brings me hope, and to tonight's Wørd: Autocratic for the People
Folks, America is strapped for cash, and pretty soon China is going to start screening its calls. (Claim They Were "In The Shower") And recently, Standard & Poor's threatened to downgrade America's AAA bond rating. At which point, the dollar's value would be mainly as a source of fiber. (Cold, Hard Kashi)
Folks, this is not just a national problem, state and city governments are in trouble too. And you can't just burn down a place like Detroit for the insurance money. (Someone Beat You To It) It seems no one knows debt like Michigan, which has been broke since the last Dodge Polara rolled off the assembly line and straight into a sinkhole that used to be a public park.
Michigan's come up with a great way to handle the debt crisis in Benton Harbor, a predominantly African-American community that is the poorest city in Michigan, which is like being the oldest member of 60 Minutes. (Morley Safer's Nickname? "The Kid") Now, to make the city solvent, the state of Michigan appointed a guy named Joseph Harris, to be something called the emergency financial manager, or EFM, which I assume is pronounced, "F 'Em." And folks, I gotta tell ya, did he ever. Jim?
JOHN PAUL, WSBT22 (4/18/2011): On Friday, the eight commissioners and mayor Wilce Cooke received a copy of this order from Joseph Harris, the state-appointed emergency manager in charge. With Governor Rick Snyder's support, effective immediately, their power and authority was stripped. ... Commissioners would only be able to call meetings to order, approve minutes, and adjourn meetings.
This takes all power away from the local elected officials. But Harris is still willing to listen to all the voices in city government, because they are all now his voice.
JOE HARRIS (2/10/2011): So, the fact of the matter is, the city manager is now gone. I am the city manager. I replace the finance director. So I'm the finance director and the city manager. I am the mayor and the commission and I don't need them.
Or, as his press secretary later clarified:
JUDGE DREDD: I am the law!
Strong. Harris had to strip the elected representatives of their power, or they might have opposed his ideas to save money, like merging the fire and police departments. 'Cause everybody knows the cheapest way to get a cat out of a tree is to just shoot it down. (Police Also Humane Society)
Now for some reason, the local officials didn't enjoy this electoral castration, so last week, city commissioners passed a resolution rescinding the emergency financial manager. But Harris immediately rescinded their rescinding on the legal grounds that they can kiss his ass. (Precedent: Sun v. Don't Shine)
I say, good for him. Because the people of Benton Harbor brought this on themselves. A city of 10,000 people saddled with $6 million dollars of debt? That's $600 per person. Benton Harbor's elected officials are incompetent, therefore, by electing them, the voters are incompetent. So they should lose their democracy. (No More Jury Duty!) Now, do not get me wrong. Don't get me wrong, democracy works sometimes. (Like Picking New M & M Color) Just not to solve a financial crisis like this.
Now, some might say, you're only saying this because Benton Harbor is 90% black. Wrong. I don't see race. But I do know that certain people don't put enough thought into voting for their leaders. I'll give you a hint. A lot of them are unemployed, they're really into sports, and they love white women. You know who I'm talking about: Americans. (Some Of His Best Friends Are Americans)
Folks, face it, our national debt is $14 trillion dollars. Divide that by 300 million, and every American owes $47,000, or 80 times as much per capita as the people of Benton Harbor. So clearly, we're not going to vote our way out of this. Americans have proved they don't know what's good for them. (See: Taco Salads)
So, I am now calling for the appointment of a national emergency financial manager. He, or him, will be given temporary absolute authority to make tough decisions, like, should we put our seniors onto ice flows, or is it more cost-effective to just turn them into Soylent Green? (Great On Taco Salads!)
Now, I am sure that some people will complain, but if people take to the streets, he can disperse the crowds with his new police/fire vehicles. (Twice The Sirens!) Of course, crushing dissent will be a bit of a downer, so the national EFM will have to build national morale with some military parades.
People love missiles. And they'll get to see the programs that will never be cut. And, if there should come a day that the EFM has overreached and clung to power too long, we can rise up against him, united by a common goal: to end tyranny and install a democratic government of the people, by the people, and for the people. And you can bet we will make the most of our vote then. And that's the Wørd. We'll be right back.
Now, a note of caution with this story. Muskegon Critic warns that the Benton Harbor story is not as simple as some would like to make it to be. A local columnist pushed back against the way Rachel Maddow was covering the story. And recent polling actually shows a slight majority of Benton Harbor residents are siding with the EFM over the city commission.
Stephen also covered the controversy about that Hasidic newspaper that removed Hillary Clinton from their photo of the Obama team watching the Navy Seal operation, and noted that if Herman Cain could keep Godfather's Pizza from going bankrupt, doesn't that make him some sort of economic genius?
Meanwhile, Jon looked at the bin Laden tapes and noticed that he and bin Laden weren't all that different. Same with McCain. Watch the video, you'll understand. He then had some fun with the last week's GOP debate on Ron Paul sticking to his principles, and Herman Cain coming out the winner. And then, in a shocking turn of events, Jason Jones covered the earth-shattering story that San Francisco is no longer the gayest city in the U.S. In fact, it's fallen out of the Top 10!!! What gives, San Francisco??
OK, OK, for those too lazy to click on the link, here's the top 15 for 2011.
1. Minneapolis, MN
2. Santa Fe, NM
3. Las Vegas, NV
4. Orlando, FL
5. Pittsburgh, PA
6. Vancouver, WA
7. Atlanta, GA
8. Washington, D.C.
9. Seattle, WA
10. St. Louis, MO
11. San Francisco, CA
12. Cleveland, OH
13. Denver, CO
14. Oakland, CA
15. Miami, FL
All right, now go ahead and critique the list. For instance, should the number Tegan and Sara performances in the city be part of the criteria? (I have no clue who these people are, BTW.) And no West Hollywood, really?