OMG, I didn't even know this existed. Last night, in talking about how conservatives are losing the youth vote, Stephen Colbert covered how a pro-life filmmaker has made a pro-life horror movie which has the message that if you have an abortion, you go to Hell.
KENNETH DEL VECCHIO (6/6/2011): I think the audience will walk away not knowing what the filmmaker's posiiton is, it gives both sides of the coin.
Right! It gives the side of the coin where the women who have their babies go to heaven, and the other side of the coin, where the woman who doesn't, goes to Hell. The viewer can choose who was right. (The People Who Saw "Green Lantern" Instead?)
Now, Mr. Del Vecchio, I believe, is on to something here. Young people are brainwashed by pop culture all the time. ("Kim Kardashian Is Talented!") But I say, if this movie works, why stop at abortion? Horror movies targeted to youth audiences can promote all of our traditional values. ("Night of the Living Jesus!")
For instance, I, for one, would like to see a remake of Carrie, where she's home-schooled. That way, there's no prom, no taunting, no bucket of blood, and she gets a full scholarship to Liberty University. ("The Michele Bachmann Story")
OK, if what you were drinking didn't just come out your nose at that last joke, you might be a conservative lurking on DailyKos. :-P
Videos and transcripts below the fold.
Nation, every day our economy sinks further into what could be called a double dip recession. And that is great news, because it's all going to be blamed on Barack Obama. Jim?
DAVID GERGEN (6/14/2011): Certainly, Barack Obama looked much more vulnerable than he did only a few months ago.
MICHELE BACHMANN (6/13/2011): President Obama is a One. Term. President.
MONICA CROWLEY (6/14/2011): Republicans, if they play this right, they could run Lassie and win.
Yes, even Lassie could beat Obama. Of course, she'd never get the Republican nomination. Helping Timmy out of that well is socialism! Unfortunately, there are still a few hurdles to clear before we get our country back from the people we voted for. See, Obama owns the youth vote. The only way kids could love Obama more is if he were also a skate park.
![](http://i188.photobucket.com/albums/z152/UCLABruinKid/ObamaSkatePark.jpg)
And right now, folks, the GOP brand is about as popular with kids as an episode of 60 Minutes hosted by a tube of Sensodyne. Jim?
BOB BECKEL (4/25/2011): The reality is that young voters, if you look at them, consistently find problems with Republicans.
KAREN FINNEY (5/15/2011): In the 2008 cycle, none of the Republicans heavily courted the youth vote. 62% of 18 to 29-year-olds voted Democratic.
HOWARD DEAN (5/13/2011): What the Republicans don't get is that the anti-gay, anti-immigrant, anti-Muslim stuff they put out is toxic to the under 35s.
That's right. Old Man McCain would be President if it wasn't for you meddling kids! And I do not buy the argument that young voters are turned off by Republican ideas. Pretty much everyone has described Paul Ryan's Medicare cuts as "radical". But evidently, these young homeboys are too busy doing the Macarena and feeding their Tamagotchis while listening to Better Than Ezra on their Discmans.
Now fortunately.... (wild audience applause) Oh yeah, I'm hip to the scene.
Now fortunately, there's a new way for conservatives to appeal to youngsters, and it's the subject of tonight's Wørd: Shock the Vote
Folks, one conservative has figured out how to reach the covted youth audience: Kenneth Del Vecchio, a former part-time New Jersey judge and Republican state senate candidate. Del Vecchio, or D to the V as no one calls him, knows there is nothing kids like more than graphic horror films like Final Destination, Drag Me to Hell, and Sex and the City 2. It's terrifying. ("The Collagen Is Coming From Inside The House!)
Now, to appeal to the chizz-ildren out there, Del Vecchio wrote and produced a pro-life horror film called The Life Zone.
MAN: You have all committed a terrible sin. ... I am your jailer.
WOMAN DOCTOR: You were all on the operating table, all ready to commit murder.
KIDNAP VICTIM: You're nuts. You kidnapped us!
WOMAN DOCTOR: You will stay here, in this room, for the next 7 months, until you all simultaneously give birth to your children.
It's a movie with all the terror of Knocked Up. (And All The Laughs Of "Rosemary's Baby")
Now, The Life Zone is about three pregnant women who are held captive by a sadistic jailer, who tries to change their minds about abortion by forcing them to carry their babies to term. (Spoiler Alert: Also Plot of "Hangover III")
And folks, just like all great horror films, Del Vecchio's movie has a shocking twist. (It Got Made?) At the end, it is revealed all along, the women had been in purgatory, after having died on the operating table of abortion clinics. But the film isn't some kind of preachy right-wing sermon. Del Vecchio explained:
KENNETH DEL VECCHIO (6/6/2011): I think the audience will walk away not knowing what the filmmaker's posiiton is, it gives both sides of the coin.
Right! It gives the side of the coin where the women who have their babies go to heaven, and the other side of the coin, where the woman who doesn't, goes to Hell. The viewer can choose who was right. (The People Who Saw "Green Lantern" Instead?)
Now, Mr. Del Vecchio, I believe, is on to something here. Young people are brainwashed by pop culture all the time. ("Kim Kardashian Is Talented!") But I say, if this movie works, why stop at abortion? Horror movies targeted to youth audiences can promote all of our traditional values. ("Night of the Living Jesus!")
For instance, I, for one, would like to see a remake of Carrie, where she's home-schooled. That way, there's no prom, no taunting, no bucket of blood, and she gets a full scholarship to Liberty University. ("The Michele Bachmann Story")
Or, how about a movie, and I think this would go pretty well with the kids, a movie to convert vegetarians, where the Australian guy from Outback Steakhouse kidnaps a vegan, imprisons him inside a cow, and forces him to eat his way out? (Kids Eat Out Of Cow Free!)
Or, a movie that protects traditional marriage where a gay guy and a lesbian are stitched together, junk to junk, by a mad moralistic scientist, until they realize how good it feels? ("Stitched-Back Mountain")
And what better way to show the horrors of universal health care, than with the release of The Texas Chainsaw Medicare? Hey, I didn't want Leatherface to be my primary physician, but thanks to ObamaCare, I don't have a choice.
And once we fill the multiplexes with movies espousing our traditional values, our next movie will be about our new Republican President. And that is my favorite kind of film. (An Expensive Remake)
And that's the Wørd. We'll be right back.
Many of you will want to see Stephen's interview guest from last night, one of our own Kossacks, Mr. Keith Olbermann!
Meanwhile, Jon Stewart looked at Obama's very quick trip to Puerto Rico and discussed how Obama was looking to shore up the Latino vote with the Daily Show's newest correspondent Al Madrigal. Then Jon covered some recent gay news, from potential marriage equality in New York, to the revelations that two lesbian bloggers were actually straight men. Then South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone were the interview guests for their new Tony Award-winning musical, "The Book of Mormon".