Jon Stewart covered the results of the Alabama and Mississippi primaries last night, from Newt Gingrich's refusal to drop out, the folly of CNN's coverage, to how Fox News actually ignored the primaries to focus on attacking Obama and Democrats.
Well, actually Rick Santorum won Alabama and Mississippi, and Mitt Romney won Hawaii and American Samoa. Here's a little mnemonic device to help you remember.
Places you can get to in a Winnebago, go to Santorum. Places that require a jet or a yacht, go to Romney. Romney, of course, always does well with islands, that's where his money lives.
So Gingrich did not get the thing that he had to have, thus dooming his once promising campaign, his humble concession last night was a hallmark of... ah, I'm just fucking with you. He's acting like he won!!
....
In my view, these are some of the nation's brightest minds who can't figure out why I, Newt Gingrich, won't quit. Was it a promise to a sick child, they'll ask. Was he told by a wizard if he doesn't stay in the presidential race, the world will fall into darkness? Is Newt's campaign some kind of Joaquin Phoenix performance art that, I don't know, we'll eventually get, but still not like or think was that funny? My point is, I'm not quitting. Newt 2012!
Videos below the fold.
Jon then covered the
story about homeless people being used as wi-fi hotspots.
Meanwhile, after looking at the story about the former Goldman Sachs executive who wrote the scathing op-ed in the NYT, Stephen noted how Rick Santorum says he never uses a teleprompter.
Stephen brought on
Kermit the Frog to give his analysis (and maybe plug a certain movie) on the Republican presidential primary.
Jon talked with
Rachel Weisz, and Stephen talked with
Mark McKinnon.