Hello, earth humans! (Brian Synder/Reuters)
Bless his heart,
Mitt Romney's trying so hard:
Romney greeted the crowd at a [Jackson, Mississippi] town hall meeting Friday with a hearty "Morning, y'all!"
"I got started right this morning with a biscuit and some cheesy grits," he said. "Delicious!"
"Hello again human citizens! I hear tell one of the popular foodstuffs at this latitude is something called 'grits.' I also like grits! I understand from my maidservant that southern humans like to instruct others to 'kiss' their grits, so I am here to tell you, if you elect me as your human leader, I shall not only kiss your grits, I shall do so with true passion and conviction. I shall strap them to the roof of my car and take them on a grand tour of popular earth destinations. I shall buy dinner for those grits, and drinks, and then take them back to my hotel and make sweet, sweet love to those grits. I own two Cadillacs, both of which are the proper height, and I will let those grits drive whichever one it likes."
Yes, he is now a fan of grits. Fine, whatever. I'm still getting over the requirement that every potential candidate for office must demonstrate their true love of corn dogs.
I don't know if it will work or not. I expect if a crowd has already taken the effort to go to your campaign event and listen to you talk, pandering to them about breakfast choices is probably not going to sway many minds in one direction or another—it should be noted, however, that I am not a political professional of the caliber that runs modern presidential campaigns. At the very least, I know some people want it to work. Politico:
Speaking to reporters in Pascagoula shortly after Romney wrapped up his stump speech here, [Republican Gov. Phil Bryant] cited the ex-Massachusetts governor’s child-rearing abilities when asked how he’s doing in his conversion to the South. “He had blue jeans on. He likes grits. Again, he's been here before. We've talked to him. We've seen him. But he just has a warm comfortable way about him. I like to see a man when he's holding a baby. And he looks like he's held a baby before,” Bryant said.
Grits
and baby-handling skills? Well, hell, I'm not sure how anyone else can compete with
that.