That guy walking slowly down the street and touching everything with his white stick is probably faking it for benefits. - Republicans
Mitt Romney looks like the kind of guy who has never said the word "tits" out loud.
Settle down girls who drive with your bare feet hanging out the passenger window. You're not in a country music video.
At this point the History Channel might as well take that final step and change its name to Speculation Television.
I watched a dog chase its tail for 10 min., thought "damn so easily entertained" then realized I watched a dog chase his tail for 10 min.
Creationists need to understand that humans are essentially glorified animals in adorable clothes.
Mac and cheese is a poor man’s caviar.
The difference between hope and despair is a different way of telling stories from the same facts.
Beyond pessimism lies that far more fruitful mood: cheerful despair.
Always bring a knife to a food fight. There will probably be pie.