WARNING: This article contains content referring to rape and sexual abuse that may be very triggering or disturbing to some readers. Reader discretion is advised.
"If women do not want to be viewed as sex objects, then why do they wear short skirts and low cut blouses showing off their cleavage? They KNOW it’s going to attract attention! If you don’t want guys to look at you like that, then don’t wear stuff like that! We can’t help that we’re visual creatures." ~ Trite Cliché
If people don’t want to get mugged, why do they carry wallets? We know it might attract a thief to pull out our wallets in public when we want to buy things, so isn't it entirely our fault if we get robbed? Weren't we just asking for it, since humans are naturally attracted to having cash and shopping?
If you don’t agree with that, and I am fully aware that most people don’t, then where the hell did this weird double standard come from and why won’t it go away?
The answer is disturbingly simple: People are confusing sexuality with sexual objectification.
Every time I see the topic of sexual objectification come up anywhere (and I belong to many different humanitarian groups, so it comes up constantly), there seems to be a chronic fundamental cognitive dissonance that breaks all logical discourse on the matter and sets constructive discussion up in flames.
I've noticed that people aren't even discussing sexual objectification -- They're talking about sexuality.
It's time we cleared something up: Sexual objectification is not related to or a part of sex. Full stop.
They have nothing to do with one another. They might influence the same realms of thought regarding sexuality, but they are not in any way, shape, or form allied with one another.
The key word difference here my friends is "Object."
Sex and sexuality, bonding physically with other human beings, consensual sexual pleasure, and appreciating each other in a sexual manner are wonderful, positive things that folks of all gender identifications enjoy. To make love is an extraordinary and beautiful part of being human. It’s part of the glory of being alive.
Objectification is about dehumanizing people to the point where you actually forget they are human.
It's taking people and turning them into display stands to showcase a product. It’s about showing only one body part instead of the whole person. It’s photoshopping models until they are basically nothing more than a cheap cartoon to sell crap you don't need anyway. It's the attitude that people don't have the right to say "No" to sexual contact. It's the idea that some people are just pieces of meat to be picked up, humped, and then dumped. It’s summing up a person in terms of body parts (e.g. “I don’t care if she won the Nobel Peace Prize, I just want to see her tits.” Or “Check out the ass on that hunk of man-meat! Whoot!”)
None of this is remotely sexy or healthy to think about much less go through. The rule of thumb about sexuality is that a true expression of it is supposed to be healthy and make you feel happy and fulfilled. If it doesn't do that, then it's not sex.
Humans are extremely intelligent creatures with a highly developed ability to absorb and learn abstract ideas just through signs, symbols, patterns, and imagery. We frequently speak with metaphors, soliloquies, allegories, and analogies to make our points. We create music, art, dance, and other forms of creative expression to convey concepts that language hasn't even been invented for yet. We can tell exactly what someone is thinking and feeling just by the way they stand. It's really incredible how powerful our grey matter is.
Our brains also mostly run on autonomic processes. It uses mental programs that biology or learned behavior have written. We wouldn't be able to do much of anything in life if we had to manually control every single scrap of information. So it's an evolutionary advantage and a very good thing that our brain has this feature.
Unfortunately, the drawback to all of this is that it's easy to influence the brain without people being aware of it. This is why advertising works so well. It's deliberately designed to tap into your subconscious and influence your behavior so you will buy things.
This is also why objectification is so insidious and dangerous.
Think of it like your computer getting a Trojan Horse virus. It slips in under the guise of being something else (sex) and infects your registry (brain) and starts changing your programming (thoughts) without you knowing until it is too late.
Sexual objectification doesn't really discriminate between genders, but those who suffer most from such exploitation tend to be the people who can be easily overpowered. By and large, that's going to be adult women and children. This includes male children. Most men who have suffered from sexual abuse and rape in their lifetimes experienced it while they were still just boys. [1]
I sincerely doubt any of you are surprised at the idea that rapists pick victims they feel highly confident they can overpower sexually, physically, emotionally, mentally, and legally.
That's sort of the point of rape -- Rapists are sexually oriented on control and power, not on gender like a normal person is.
Sexual objectification just makes it oh-so-much easier for them to get a victim and get away with it.
It just keeps stretching on from there, far past sex and invading the non-sexual sides of people's lives such as their ability to earn a living, obtain needed goods and services, or just be taken seriously in conversation.
The world needs your help in understanding this fundamental point, folks. We're all human beings, and we're being trained by advertisers to forget that. This isn't about you, your gender, or your sexuality. Desiring to have sex with someone is normal.
Failing to see the person you want to have sex with has the basic right to tell you "No" is socially engineered insanity that is brainwashing us into increasing amounts of violence.
Thankfully, you can clean out that mental virus without compromising your base programming. All you have to do is be diligent and make a point to respect each other's humanity. View each other in love, not as a "piece of ass."
Get down and dirty with good clean respect for one another.
Namaste.
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[1] http://www.rainn.org/...