The DNC greeted Donald Trump’s official entry into the presidential race with the smartest thing they’ve said in years:
"Today, Donald Trump became the second major Republican candidate to announce for president in two days," DNC national press secretary Holly Shulman said in a statement. "He adds some much-needed seriousness that has previously been lacking from the GOP field, and we look forward to hearing more about his ideas for the nation."
(Doom-laden email to follow.)
Huffington Post took up the theme in their opening paragraph:
WASHINGTON -- A serious man uniquely suited to these perilous times, Donald Trump announced on Tuesday that he will run for president in 2016. Our country is collectively indebted.
The announcement, made at Trump Tower in New York City, featured the real estate mogul coming down an escalator and delivering a rambling, jingoistic, 50-minute speech. At one point, Trump was briefly interrupted by exit music. Undeterred, he hushed it and spoke for another half hour.
Indeed we are indebted - and amused! To borrow (and wholly refashion) a famous saying by the great Winston Churchill, never will so many laugh so much at so few. In this instance, just the one.
Donald Trump has wasted no time in turning on the entertainment. In a sweeping entrance that notably featured the concept of down rather than up as might be expected on such an occasion, Trump ennumerated his unique qualifications:
I'm really rich. I've done an amazing job. I just sold an apartment for $15 million to somebody from China!
Then he laid out his vision for a great America in a memorable 21-point plan.
Warning: Protect your keyboard by not sipping, quaffing or imbibing while reading the following list.
Overview:
- Make the brand of the United States great again!
Constitution:
- Protect the Second Amendment
Presumably the rest of the Constitution can take its chances.
Economy:
- He promises to "bring back our money!"
It's not clear where he plans to bring it back from but it's certainly a new angle in economic theory, a sort of trickle-back theory.
Healthcare:
- Repeal Obamacare "and replace it with something [unspecified] that benefits everybody"
We know he doesn’t mean any form of universal healthcare plan because next on the list is...
- Save Medicaid, Medicare and Social Security "without cuts"
Trade:
- Renegotiate our foreign trade deals
The Donald fancies himself as a dealmaker so he feels very comfortable in this role.
- Sell junk to Saudi Arabia, since the goods we send them are blown up anyway
Er... that might be a sticking point with the Saudis when renegotiating their trade deal....
Foreign Affairs:
- Stop Iran from getting nuclear weapons
Presumably someone else will work out the details.
- Work hard on the Islamic State problem
Not sure who this is targeting... Congress? Department of Defense? Secretary of state?
- Find the General Patton or General MacArthur from within the U.S. armed forces to "make it really work" in the Middle East
Pre-empting the launch of Trump’s new reality show “American General”.
- Put super secret ISIS elimination plan into action
New GOP tactic: when you’ve got nothin’, tell everyone you’ve got a brilliant plan but you can’t tell anyone about it...
- “Turn off that spigot” of sending money to China (in the form of debt payments) by taxing them "until they behave properly"
Well that’s certainly thinking outside reality...
Immigration:
- End President Barack Obama's executive actions on immigration
Ho hum, same old same old...
- End border crossings from Mexico because many of those Mexican immigrants are "bringing drugs, they're rapists and some are probably good people."
Variation on the theme of cateloupe-calved, drugsmuggling, ebola-infested ISIS children.
- To do that, build a “Great Great Wall” on the US – Mexico border
Anything China does, the US can go one better.
- Have Mexico pay for that wall.
I did warn you not to drink while reading this list...
Infrastructure:
- Rebuild the country's infrastructure — "nobody can do that like me"
Yes, that’s what worries us...
Jobs:
- Create jobs -- "I will be the greatest jobs president that God ever created"
So would that be a God-created-job-creator?
- Call up the head of the Ford Motor Company and tell them they are going to be taxed at 35 percent for every car coming from Mexico until they decide to nix their plant in Mexico City
Um... does the same go for all companies that are outsourcing jobs or just Ford?
Cabinet Appointments:
New addition to the job specifications for Secretary of State:
- Don’t appoint a secretary of state who rides bikes and breaks his leg
Presidential Safety:
- Avoid riding bikes.
It’s certainly wide-ranging... in a haphazard, lost-in-the-political-wilderness kind of way. You can see he’s been thinking about it... in passing. I’m not sure there will be policy statements as such but the debates will be fun. Trump is confident of being in every debate because, as he explained, the media knows he always has huge ratings. (I didn’t know that but you live and learn.)
He doesn’t seem at all concerned by the much-touted polling-in-the-top-ten qualification. As he told thingy at Fox... you know, the blonde one... one of the blonde ones... anyway, as the Donald told her, he had his people look into it when he slipped back in the polling and they found "it's because they don't think I'm running," he explained triumphantly. Everyone certainly knows he’s running now! Will he get the bump in polling he's expecting?
Currently he’s polling under 4%. It’s not a number that engenders enthusiasm. What if he does slip out of the top ten or Roger Ailes decides to freeze him out rather than risk turning the Republican Party into a joke (as though that hasn't happened already)?
As my favorite Australian commentator on American Politics, John Barron, wrote:
Goodness knows what Trump would do if he is denied a podium on the debate stage - he might well rent a town hall, stage his own talkfest and buy a TV station to broadcast it. Heck, he might just start his own party - the "Donald Trump Best-Ever Political Party in the History of the Whole World Party" and nominate himself for president.
One can but hope! So buckle up, this carnival ride is just beginning. Goodness knows where it will go and how we’ll all end up but it will certainly Trump 2012 for entertainment!