Hispanic Federation Fund for Puerto Rico Relief Link
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From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
No Moore
With all the holiday hoopla, you may have missed this interview with Senator-elect Doug Jones (D-AL) on Late Night with Seth Meyers. In addition to recapping one of the craziest election nights in recent memory, Jones talks about his expectations once he’s sworn in (probably a week from today after he’s certified the winner tomorrow)...
The #MeToo movement: “I think the people of Alabama voted for me to talk about health care and [jobs and education]. And I want to get in there to [work on] those issues. But that doesn’t by any stretch mean that I don’t think that those women who made those allegations aren’t important---they are. They need to stand up, they need to speak out, and everybody needs to pay attention to them.”
Education: ”I want to make sure in Alabama that you get a good education no matter which zip code you live in.”
The message of the election: ”People wanted to see things done. They don’t like the dysfunction. They want to see actual things happening across party aisles, to the extent that you can do that. And I’m hoping [Republicans] take that into account. It probably will last a good 24 to 48 hours once I get up there.”
A second clip is here.
Once Jones takes the oath, Senate Republicans will be holding the slimmest majority possible: one measly vote. And Roy Moore? He’ll be sittin’ back home holding a bag ‘o feed for the horse that hates him and wondering what kind of after-Christmas sales he’d find at the mall if only he was allowed to set foot in it.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold...[Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, December 27, 2017
Note: If you play "Miracle of the Ark" from the "Raiders of the Lost Ark" soundtrack at exactly 11:55:45 pm on New Year's Eve, you'll hear the moment when the Nazis faces melt and heads explode as the clock strikes midnight. Start off your new year right. ---Mgt.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til 2018: 5
17 days!!!
Days 'til Ice Fest at the National Mississippi River Museum & Aquarium in Dubuque, Iowa: 17
Percent of new ACA signups so far for 2018 that happened in states Trump and Clinton, respectively, won, according to brainwrap: 64%, 36%
Number of states that have expanded Medicaid under the ACA: 31, 19
Percent of Republican and Democratic men, respectively, who don’t believe there are enough protections for those accused of sexual harassment, according to an AP-NORC poll: 52%, 33%
Average number of days the National Rifle Association waits to tweet after a major mass shooting: 6.3
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Mid-week Rapture Index: 187 (including 5 volcanoes and 1 horseback-riding closet queen). Soul Protection Factor 8 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: It’s just dogs rolling around on a kitchen floor...
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CHEERS to blessed silence. We hope you had a nice Festivus, Kwanzaa, and...and whatever that other holiday is called. I’m happy to say they've turned off the Christmas carols for, oh, maybe the next 9 months if we’re lucky. It's safe to come out now. Upside: we made it through another season without hearing the Kenny G version of Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer. Woo-hoo! Downside: nothing but non-stop Auld Lang Syne for the next five days. (Give it a rest, already, old lady across the street!)
P.S. As to who won the War on Christmas this year, the results are in and…
[Head explodes]
CHEERS to gittin’ stuff done!!! This news is so exciting!!! I may run out of exclamation points before I finish writing about it!!! Secretary of State Rex Tillerson just got Trump to submit ONE State Department nominee for approval!!! If she gets the green light, Susan Thornton would become the top adviser in East Asia!!! And then ‘Ol Rex will only have 4,599 positions left to fill!!! I don’t care if it’s not New Years Eve yet, I’m breakin’ out the bubbly!!!
I think, like, the republic is saved or something.
JEERS to Putin doing as Putin does. The only Russian candidate with any hope of challenging Trump’s puppet master in next year’s election got word Monday that he’s been declared ineligible because of a prior ginned up “conviction” for something or other:
“Alexei Navalnyis implicitly barred from running for office because of a conviction in a fraud case which has been viewed as political retribution," The Associated Press writes. "He could have run if he [were] given a special dispensation or if his conviction was cancelled.” But election officials opted not to grant him permission.
The news is a blow for any hope of pushing back against Russia’s murderous kleptocracy. It’s also a blow to the Bee Gees fortune, now that Navalny won’t be playing Staying Alive as his campaign theme song anymore. (Although he will continue humming it every morning when he’s starting his car.)
JEERS to munition madness. Continuing a policy followed by both the W. Bush and Obama administrations, the Trump White House has agreed to allow U.S.manufacturers to sell lethal weapons to our ally Ukraine. “Super!” said Ukraine. “Super duper!” said the makers of Twinkies.
JEERS to the huffy little baby. (No, not Trump, the other one.) The United Nations Security Council got together last week and unanimously tossed a new wheelbarrow full of sanctions on nuke-obsessed North Korea. In response, Kim Jong Un balled up his tinier-than-Trump’s fists and called the vote an “act of war”:
The U.N. resolution seeks to ban nearly 90 percent of refined petroleum exports to North Korea by capping them at 500,000 barrels a year and, in a last-minute change, demands the repatriation of North Koreans working abroad within 24 months, instead of 12 months as first proposed.
The medal in the third row down, second from the left, is the “Meritorious Order of Driving A Missile Launcher Truck Without Training Wheels.”
North Korea said those who voted for the sanctions would face its wrath. “Those countries that raised their hands in favor of this ‘sanctions resolution’ shall be held completely responsible for all the consequences to be caused by the ‘resolution’ and we will make sure for ever and ever that they pay heavy price for what they have done.”
The North’s old allies China and Russia both supported the latest U.N. sanctions.
For those of you keeping score, this is the 214th time North Korea has called something an act of war. Previous reasons include Trump calling Jong Un “little rocket man,” the U.S. and South Korea conducting naval exercises off its coast, and ABC canceling “Cop Rock.” (That last one will probably be the reason we all fry. Huge Steven Bochco fans.)
CHEERS to keeping things in focus. Happy 446th birthday to Johannes Kepler, the "founder of modern optics." Among many other accomplishments, he designed the first lenses to help farsightedness and nearsightedness. Sadly for our current political class, there was nothing in his bag of tricks to help shortsightedness.
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Ten years ago in C&J: December 27, 2007
JEERS to losing hope for democracy in Pakistan. Benazir Bhutto was assassinated this morning after holding a campaign rally. The killer shot her in the neck and then blew himself up. Only one word suffices at this moment: fuck.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to jolly old justice. I love TV court shows. I know they’re just small claims cases, and the monetary awards are covered by the production companies, not the litigants. But, man, do they shed light on human nature, in ways both good and bad. Over the weekend I was tooling around the You Tube, and ran into a thicket of videos featuring the “British Judge Judy.” Robert Rinder went to theater school with Benedict Cumberbatch, but ultimately went into law, becoming a barrister before being approached to host his own court show, Judge Rinder. He’s openly gay, and comes off as part Noel Coward, part Paul Lynde, and part John Cleese’s headmaster in Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life:
I hear he wants to bring his shtick to the States. I’m all for it. The accent alone would class up the joint.
Have a happy humpday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
A blind mystic who fans claim correctly predicted Brexit, 9/11, the rise of ISIS and the Boxing Day tsunami envisioned two world-changing events happening in 2018. She said that in 2018 China will become the world's next "super power", taking over from the US, and “a new form of energy” will be discovered in the Cheers and Jeers kiddie pool.
---The Mirror
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