Who is Patrick McHenry?
Greetings from Asheville, NC, the actual Island of Misfit Toys, home to more than 80 breweries, one of the most amazing live music scenes in the world, scenery folks travel thousands of miles to experience, and a progressive freaky multicultural paradise….oddly enough represented in Congress by an Actual Nazi...Mark Meadows of NC 11….and the man who is only remarkable for his unremarkability….Patrick McHenry, who, thanks to illegal gerrymandering has “represented” me and my neighbors since 2012 in NC 10. NC 10 was created for a toady like Patrick McHenry, an R+15 paradise neither party would ever have to pay any attention to, meaning our votes mean nothing. Which is probably why Patrick McHenry thinks he can get away with killing me….
How Patrick McHenry is trying to kill me
Back in 2014, I had a sore throat that wouldn’t go away. After much consternation and a consult with a specialist, I was diagnosed with Stage 3 throat cancer. No fun but very survivable with some very expensive treatment. It’s over $100k cash if you want to price it. Since I was between projects at the time (and hence flat broke, a common malady here in our beloved Cesspool of Sin) and had two small children (4 and 6 at the time), I miraculously qualified for Medicaid in NC meaning I had to come up with all of $3 for each of my radiation treatments and another $3 for each chemo treatment. I think I paid out a grand total of about $90 altogether.
After a few months of recovery, I spent 2015 getting back on my feet and started my now somewhat successful local accounting and business consulting practice. I’ve had Obamacare for the past few years, which gives me reasonable monthly premiums (I’m not THAT successful), a low yearly out of pocket maximum, and only $5 co-pays for all of those life saving follow-up visits. Which altogether adds up to a very manageable cancer free four years (so far crossing fingers and toes) during which Medicaid saved my life and Obamacare is keeping me alive. Take away my Obamacare, lose protections for my pre-existing condition? That’s a death sentence folks. One less freak to grace the many dance floors of Ashevegas and two more sweet sweet kids without a super fun loving dad who supports them fully and takes them on awesome adventures. Patrick McHenry has voted 72 times to take away my health care. I just don’t know why he thinks he has to kill me!!
How Patrick McHenry has the power to kill me
Before the last decennial reapportionment, Democrats in NC stayed away from the polls because that darn Obama wasn’t negotiating hard enough for our health care. As a result, Republican grifters took over the legislature for the first time in a century and gerrymandered our state so completely and so illegally that 1) multiple state and federal courts actually ruled that the state’s gerrymander was illegal and ordered them to ungerrymander it which they didn’t so there!; and 2) our beloved liberal radical progressive Island of Misfit Toys—split in two by the miscreants to dilute our beautiful multicultural voting power—finds most of its residents “represented” in the 10th District of the US House by mealy mouthed traitorous scumbag Patrick McHenry (R- Asskissington). For the past six years.
Unlike the Actual Nazi to the North--tRump cover-up artist Mark Meadows (R-Grifterton, 11th District)—Patrick McHenry flies under the radar, avoids upsetting the lunatic fringe while pretending to be a moderate. He runs usually unopposed or only marginally opposed by Some Dude in this R+15 paradise that no one has even polled this fall. Since he’s been sitting in what he and most prognosticators believe is a safe seat, Patrick McHenry has voted 72 times to take away my Obamacare and replace it with…. cue the Underpants Gnomes music now.
His “plan” to replace the insurance that’s currently keeping me alive? I’m not kidding he actually said this on the record in front of Bog, the local press, and the entire august assemblage of mostly progressive Ashevillains. TODAY. Hospitals should advertise their prices and compete with each other. I guess this is what passes for deep thinking on the right. Hospitals should advertise their prices and compete with each other. You read that right. In a town with exactly ONE HOSPITAL this mental midget complete moron says we should nix the ACA and let hospitals compete for customers. As if we all just had a hundred large sitting around in our couch cushions in case we ever get cancer. Costs that much to rent two bedrooms downtown around here!
Maybe I should run against Patrick McHenry before he kills me!
So I had a Great Idea! I actually considered becoming Some Dude this year when I discovered that Mr. McHenry had voted lockstep with Mango Mussolini, including one of the four votes that moved “Trumpcare” out of the House. If nothing else, just so I could stand in front of a crowd and ask this subhuman monster to his ugly right wing toady face why he’s trying to kill me!!!
I mean, this complete stranger I’m pretty sure I’ve done nothing to offend (until now) who calls himself my “representative” was actively voting dozens of times to take away my health care….AND KILL ME. Who does this character think he is??? I’ll show him! Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a big fan of the ACA. I’m all in for single payer even if it costs me more out of pocket. For sooooo many reasons….like if I get cancer again….something that’s statistically very likely I must admit….which is why I spend so much of my time playing with my kids and going out dancing as is my civic duty here in Ashevegas…..
I know I’d lock down the hippie vote. The blue hairs all like me because we shop at the same stores. I think the African American vote would come around. Perhaps referring to the rural residents of the district as “dumbass moronic white supremacist numbnuts who’s blind racism allows Republicans to pick their pockets clean” (repeatedly on social media) would be a bit of a liability….. But before I could file my paperwork I discovered something wonderful!!
Luckily, a courageous fine even more upstanding progressive from the NC hinterlands—David Wilson Brown—stepped up to take on Mr. McHenry and today, thanks to the local CIBO chapter, Mr. Brown and Mr. McHenry actually had a debate! On our beloved Island of Misfit Toys. At a freaking BREWERY I kid you not! It was a lunch thing in the middle of the week, but nonetheless I donned full Ashevegas evening regalia (OK, I didn’t wear the gold shiny jacket to complete the ensemble) and the sign shown above to ask the ever important question to The Man Himself to his (I was convinced, since he could kick me in the nuts and I wouldn’t know who he was) fat ugly face….Who is Patrick McHenry and Why is he trying to kill me? I didn’t have to because my new hero, David Wilson Brown (OK, he didn’t use the same words, but...) pretty much did it for me on stage in front of Bog, the press, and the assemblage of fine progressive townfolk there gathered to hear Patrick McHenry remove all doubt about who he is.
Patrick McHenry is an asshole. A fucking toady tRumpista to the end complete unadulterated moron ASSHOLE. And he wants to kill me. And he wants to kill you and all of his neighbors who don’t have employer sponsored health care….which is RARE around here. OK I still don’t get why. (Well, after today….) Neither do my kids, who weren’t there (it was a school day) and will deny all knowledge that they even know who Patrick McHenry is. So Why Patrick is McHenry trying to kill me? Because he’s an asshole. That’s why.
So how about sending a little love to the actual die hard progressive working 40 hours a week to support his family while running a quality people powered campaign for NC 10th….David Wilson Brown.
There’s no polling so I have no idea if he can win. Asheville voting has been off the chain so far and if we all show up, McHenry is toast. Patrick McHenry actually showed his ugly face in our beautiful We Fart Rainbows town for a debate, so maybe that’s a sign he thinks he’s lagging a bit. First time he’s been here in like two years. (We laid a curse at the city limits that turns him into an actual toad if he comes here hee hee hee don’t tell anyone!). And it certainly can’t hurt to support a great progressive and maybe pull out a surprise win for the we long suffering citizens of the Island of Misfit Toys!
David Wilson Brown for Congress, NC-10