I was in a an extremely abusive relationship for almost seven years, leaving it was harder than most people could imagine. The results of this relationship left me with a badly damaged stomach lining and vomiting a lot of blood. I was in a severe car accident in which I went up in the air 17 feet, hit a pole, and me and my car flipped several times. I landed upside down and unconscious and nearly died. As a result of that car accident, I suffered from severe back and neck damage. As I aged, the pain got worse. The person with whom I was in the relationship had access to an enormous amount of hydrocodone, her scripts, her sisters, her brother in law’s, her friends, …. I began leaving for work as a teacher at 4 am and getting home at 10 pm because of a 2 hour commute. When that happened, she offered me the hydrocodone she had access to and I wrongly gave in due to pain. I began taking more and more. In July, I left her for good and admitted myself of my own volition into Laurel Ridge Treatment Center. I completed my treatment while living there for eight days. I realized I needed more treatment. I sought and enrolled in an out patient treatment center called New Seasons. They used the gold standard of medication assisted therapy. Since then, I have suffered from insomnia, sweating, nausea, and vomiting. They continued to get worse. As the nausea and vomiting worsened, I started missing work. I did not want to miss it. I simply could not work while vomiting. The nausea and vomiting also became more consistent. I could not determine the cause. Other issues appeared like food poisoning from a tv dinner. I grew despondent as each time I sought the cause and a solution, neither appeared. However, this past weekend, I went to an emergency room and had they run a full battery of tests and required an explanation. I learned then that the medication that I take at the treatment center causes nausea, vomiting, sweating, and insomnia. As I need the medication in my treatment center in order to permanently leave hydrocodone for good. They also stated that I had blood in my urine and I have had a urinary tract infection which does not seem to go away or reappears. Knowing that I have an explanation gives me some relief. They prescribed to treat the nausea which enables me to work. In addition, I am putting into practice certain other instructions: drink at least 64 ounces of water every day. Try to stop eating late at night, especially after I have, in theory, have gone to bed for the night. Eat foods that are easier on my stomach. Work on putting in place good sleep practices (I wake up 3 to 4 times every night, never sleep more than a few hours in a row) like no caffeine past 6 pm, turn off the tv and do not eat within 4 hours of bed time. The medication helps a lot and with this plan, I will be able to not miss work going forward.
Therefore, I now have confidence going forward that this will not reoccur. The vomiting worsened since the last diary, but now has improved. However, I missed several days due on this paycheck and even more on the next paycheck. I have no other resources at all. If I do not have help, I will not be able to afford my medication at the treatment center. I will not be able to buy food for Fluffy the Great or me and I will not be able to afford gas for work. I had excuses for work from my treatment center and the ER. So, my job is not in jeopardy. However, if I have to suddenly stop going to the treatment center because I cannot afford the medication, then I will be unable to work period. This would occur because I would be going from a certain level of my medication to zero and the consequences of that would mean I could not work. It would make me considerably less likely to be successful in leaving hydrocodone. It would also mean both Fluffy the Great and I would go without food. In addition, it would mean that I would not have the money for gas to get to work.
Going forward, I am highly confident that the plan in place will work because I am putting it into place and it is working. I have no other help. My situation is urgent. I would be grateful for any help. My goal based upon the missed days is $500. I will be updating this diary during lunch and after work with where we are. I have a master’s degree in mathematics, a bachelor’s degree in social sciences (also 29 hours of Spanish), and a bachelor’s degree in mathematics. I also have doctoral work behind me as well. I bring that up because my first choice would be to do any work involving mathematics that anybody has need of. I would rather earn the money through any projects that anybody here has involving or requiring mathematics that they could use assistance on. In addition, I also would be thrilled if I could teach any mathematics that anybody here would like to learn. I would be grateful for the opportunity to earn money by using my knowledge and ability to help somebody here. If not, then I would be grateful for financial gifts through paypal at robertallenproctor4@gmail.com . I would definitely be thrilled to be given the opportunity to pay it forward -— giving free tutoring to students in need here for example. Thank you so very much !!!
I am at work when this diary is published, but will check in at approximately 1030 am when I have lunch and much more after work. I deeply appreciate your kindness and compassion !!!
My PayPal is robertallenproctor4@gmail.com.
I also wanted to say that kind words and encouragement mean more to me than I can clearly say because I am so isolated and tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I will be completely alone during Thanksgiving except I do have the pleasure of the company of loyal Fluffy the Great !!