Intrepid researchers at NNNE Investigations™ have uncovered the long rumored minimum opus, tRump Business Secrets. This existence of this book is a closely guarded tRump family secret and we had to offer Eric a couple of raisins and a Chicklet to get him to give up his copy. Although, there is a rumor that if no one is willing to ghostwrite any new self-serving tripe starring el Donaldo, it may be shopped to publishers the next time his cash flow crashes. Openly plagiarized contributions by the business luminaries behind the end of Enron, PanAm, Woolworth’s, Kodak and Blockbuster have been added to increase the word count and include big words that no one in the tRump family understands.
Some of the lowlights
Over time, tRumpBS has become an internal institutional resource as tRump has fumbled his way into further work on refining his “Be Worst” business model into something slightly less illegal while maintaining the cross-generational criminal focus of the family business. It highlights many of the advanced grifting techniques tRump has been using throughout his life with chapters on:
- Buy high, sell low.
- Bankruptcy with other peoples money can still be your tax dodge.
- Money laundering for fun and profit.
- Betraying your country is a goldmine.
- The foreign corrupt practices act is not a real law.
- Emoluments, smoluments.
- Discrimination sells.
- Racism is a brand.
- How to use a lifetime of failed business ventures to promote yourself as a “great” businessman.
- Using Russian money to prop up failing businesses.
- Corrupt dictators make the best business partners.
- Leveraging sexual assault into admired locker room talk.
- Charitable keeping.
- How to survive bonespurs.
- Lying for profit.
- More lying for profit.
- Even more lying for profit.
- The art of the totally illegal quid pro quo.
- How to funnel impeachment money into your business.
Much of the manuscript copy of the book is written in one syllable words using either finger paints, crayon or most commonly, diaper droppings.
Actual industry wide casino performance figures during the time tRump was busy bankrupting his ventures.
We just got a preview copy of The Greatest Businessman in the History of the White House (as told to gullible followers by Donald J tRump (the J is for Genius) and edited by professional shill and historian Professor Jonathan Turley). [Content has been redacted by William Barr (officially not the Rezident’s lawyer) in order to avoid major tRump self-incrimination and making him looking even worse than he already does]. Dang! That Barr fellow is getting on my on my last nerve. In lieu of el Pendejo Naranja making himself into even more of an idiot, let’s take this moment to remember he managed to bankrupt a casino more than once.
Totally unrelated stuff added to help you top off your derision levels.
The evolutionary cycle of a tRump defense.
Today’s inspiring call to action was penned by Koswide famous Inspirational Writer, Goodie: Have a Peaceful, Lively, & Joyful Heart ~ You Are Fighting the Best Fight: Saturday's Good News
Thank you to Mokurai for sitting in for me the last couple of days while I was away. Am I supposed to include some kind of “He’s back” meme?
If you have any tRump business snark to share, let’s keep building the case. We are going to be using some to this stuff to continue to indict him as we move into 2020. We can crowd source his political demise.