From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
A Gift For Your Crazy Uncle: The Truth
There are certain contributors on MSNBC that make me lunge for the mute button. But when Barb McQuade—University of Michigan law professor, former U.S. Attorney, national security prosecutor, and legal analyst—appears, I turn the volume up. She's tops when it comes to slogging through the corruption mud that the Trump wallows in and helping us reg'lar folk make sense of it.
With today's historic vote in the House just hours away, this seems like a good time to post Barb's responses to a dozen right-wing attacks on the impeachment process that she recently posted on the twitter machine. They may come in handy if you get cornered by a misguided relative or co-worker over the holidays. Here are a half-dozen of their “defenses” and her responses…
Defense: Trump did nothing wrong.
Response: Trump hit the trifecta of impeachable conduct by subverting an election, seeking foreign influence, and putting personal interest ahead of national interest. And he obstructed Congress by refusing to produce any witnesses or documents.
Defense: No harm occurred because the military aid went through.
Response: The aid went through only after Trump was caught. In the meantime, months of delay cost Ukraine lives in its war with Russia. US credibility was harmed and moral authority to fight corruption was eroded.
200+ people braving the wind and snow here in Portland, Maine, last night at one of the 617 “Nobody Is Above the Law” rallies across the country.
Defense: We need to hear from the whistleblower.
Response: The whistleblower was a tipster, whose tip led to the investigation. Tipsters do not testify at trial, the witnesses do. We have a duty to protect whistleblowers to encourage them to use proper channels to report abuse
Defense: Abuse of power is not even a crime.
Response: Impeachable conduct may be criminal conduct, but need not be. A president could be impeached if he watched TV all day and failed to fulfill his constitutional duty to take care that the laws be faithfully executed.
Defense: There’s nothing wrong with asking for an investigation.
Response: If this were a legitimate investigation, you wouldn’t need to send your personal lawyer and his henchmen to do it. Witnesses say Trump didn’t want an investigation, just an announcement of an investigation.
Defense: There was no quid pro quo.
Response: Read the transcript! Trump’s request for a “favor” is strong evidence, corroborated by witness testimony, of a months-long scheme to get Zelensky to “go to the mic” and announce the Biden probe. Aid was leverage.
You can read (and retweet) the full list and follow Barb here at her Twitter feed. Then hold onto your butts. It’s gonna be a day.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold...[Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, December 18, 2019
Note: Tonight on Eyewitness News at 11, authorities levy $5 million fine against the ABC network for allowing Frosty the Snowman to run around naked in front of children during prime time. Heavily-censored film at 11.
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By the Numbers:
9 days!!!
Days 'til Baby Jesus gets swaddled: 7
Days 'til the San Diego Tango Festival: 9
Americans who have died from the flu this season so far, according to the CDC: 1,300
Number of employees who will spend two years building the USNS oil ship Harvey Milk in San Diego: 1,000
Rank of Fremont CA, Bismarck ND, and Sioux Falls SD on WalletHub's 2019 list of least-stressful cities in America: #1, #2, #3
Minimum number of U.S. theaters in which Star Wars IX will debut: 4,200
Final bid on the bat Babe Ruth used to hit his 500th homer: $1.08 million
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Mid-week Rapture Index: 183 (including 5 moral standards and 1 anti-Jezebel Elijah anointing). Soul Protection Factor 8 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Happy surprise…
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CHEERS to keepin' it short and simple. The House votes to impeach the president today. How is your representative voting? Here in Maine's 1st district, my congresswoman, Chellie Pingree (D), is on the record:
U.S. Rep. Chellie Pingree says she'll vote for articles of impeachment against Republican President Donald Trump.
Unlike Trump, Rep. Pingree has read the Constitution.
The Maine 1st District Democrat said Friday that there's a "mountain of evidence" that the president used his office to try to get a foreign government in interfere the 2020 election.
She said the framers of the Constitution were worried that a president would abuse power to advance personal interests.
Being from Maine, her vote will sound a bit different than the others. Instead of “aye,” she'll vote "Ayuh!"
CHEERS to the bone-crushing wheels of justice slowly rolling along a dusty, sun-scorched stretch of lonesome dirt road with not a drop of water insight. Rick Gates had it all. Money. Power. Fame. The ear of the most connected muckety mucks in the world. And dames hangin' off both arms and both legs. Rick Gates was da man. The world was his for the taking. Just one little problem: his ticket to Glorytown was stamped by Donald J. Trump, so naturally you know where this is headed:
Rick Gates,the former deputy campaign manager for Donald Trump and ex-business partner of Paul Manafort, was sentenced to three years probation and 45 days in jail on Tuesday after he cooperated extensively with federal investigators.
Welcome, Mr. Former Deputy Campaign Manager to Donald Trump. We’ve been expecting you.
Gates and Manafort were the first ex-Trump campaign officials to be charged by former special counsel Robert Mueller, accused of evading taxes and violating lobbying laws by concealing millions of dollars they earned representing pro-Russian politicians in Ukraine.
In the ultimate display of karma, for 45 hellish days convicted felon Rick Gates will be locked up…behind gates! And for the rest of his life, his mind will be haunted by the ghosts of his criminal past. (Okay, Pulitzer committee, is that finally good enough for ya?)
JEERS to running out of time. A couple health care reminders before you go off galivanting in your one-horse open sleigh for the holidays.
Due to glitches, the deadline actually ends tonight at midnight.
Due to technical glitches and other assorted management incompetence on the part of Republicans, the deadline for enrollment in Obamacare on the federal exchange has been extended until midnight tonight.
And if you have a flexible spending account as part of your health insurance plan, it's likely that you'll lose whatever money you have socked away if you don’t spend it within the next 13 days. Some things that are usually eligible: birth control, smoking cessation, cold remedies (NyQuil: humankind's greatest gift to itself), contact lens solution...stuff like that. But if your remaining balance is sizable enough, we'd advise you to buy something that'll deliver the most bang for your pre-tax buck: a senator.
CHEERS to a not-so-long time ago in a galaxy just south of beautiful downtown Burbank. For the last time in the history of the world (which goes back a whole 6,000 years, and that ain't chickenfeed), a Skywalker saga movie had it's world premiere in Hollywood Monday night. The lightsabers will be fwoomp-fwoomped for the final time. Chewbacca will let out his final Arggggghhhhhs. The Emperor will cackle his final HehHehHehs. R2-D2 will let out its final bweep-bworps and C-3PO will inform us for the last time as we're flying through hyperspace that our odds are 3,720 to 1. The reviews from folks lucky enough to attend the Rise of Skywalker premiere are mostly suggesting that their midichlorians are…pretty happy:
"All I can say is“wow.” Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker is many things: horrifying, hopeful, violent, low-key horny, and full of the right kind of fan service. But most of all, it’s a fitting ending for this incredible, 40+ year-long saga."
"Epic. All of it."
I hear the CGI Paul Lynde Imperial officer is super realistic.
"It was a movie with people in it! Things happened! Kevin Smith was two rows behind me and enhanced my moviegoing experience tenfold. These are my spoiler-free words!"
"There is a lot I liked, but the first half gets so bogged down with exposition and new plot and doodads and beacons and transmitters, it feels like it should have been three movies on its own."
"It’s an immensely satisfying and MASSIVE end to the saga. It somehow addresses issues, problematic characters, and most unanswered questions from The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi too."
To get you up to speed, Star Wars Episode IX is about an ethnically-diverse resistance movement fighting for democracy against a tyrannical regime of a narcissistic maniac hellbent on defying all of civilized society’s rules, customs and norms to destroy it with help from the Senate. So, y’know, total fiction.
CHEERS to great moments in gravity defiance. Speaking of derring-do in outer space, Monday night another Falcon 9 rocket blasted into the heavens—the 13th launch of the year for SpaceX. (And its first-stage rocket made a picture-perfect night landing on the drone ship "Of Course I Still Love You.") It was carrying a satellite for a Singapore-based startup and Japanese broadband provider that "will be especially beneficial to residents in remote provinces and villages across the South Pacific, especially health care institutions and schools." Here’s the highlight reel. Always inspiring:
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That’s one small step for humans, one giant clutch-pop for humankind.
CHEERS to Springsteen's turf. Happy anniversary, New Jersey, where the official dinosaur is the Hadrosaurus Foulkii, the official shell is the knobbed whelk, and the official color is spray-on orange. You became our third state on December 18, 1787. I looked it up, and the traditional gift for year 232—same as years 1 though 231—is “bling.” Plus: be sure to enjoy the gift of giving New York the finger this morning. I mean, why mess with a daily ritual just because it’s your birthday?
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Ten years ago in C&J: December 18, 2009
CHEERS to CERN International Speedway. The Super Hadron Collider in Switzerland just broke a record for smashing protons together—50 thousand of them at the highest energy ever. Naturally the scientists there will tell you they're working on the project for its exciting potential to change everything we know about how the universe was formed. But, c'mon, let's be honest...they're really just there to see a multi-proton pileup.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to saving our celluloid. Twenty-five movies from yesteryear have been inducted into the 31st class of the National Film Registry. Many of them—Old Yeller, Purple Rain, Amadeus, Platoon, Sleeping Beauty—are mainstream hits. Others are less known but significant in their own right, such as…
Before Stonewall (1984)
The [1969] Stonewall riots are credited with launching the modern gay civil rights movement in the U.S. Narrated by Rita Mae Brown, “Before Stonewall” provides a detailed look at the history and making of the LGBTQ community in 20th-century America through archival footage and interviews with those who felt compelled to live secret lives during that period.
Body and Soul (1925)
One of the truly unique pioneers of cinema, African-American producer/director/writer Oscar Micheaux somehow managed to get nearly 40 films made and seen despite facing racism, lack of funding, the capricious whims of local film censors and the independent nature of his work. Most of Micheaux’s films are lost to time or available only in incomplete versions, with the only extant copies of some having been located in foreign archives. For “Body and Soul,” renaissance man Paul Robeson, who had gained some fame on the stage, makes his film debut displaying a blazing screen presence in dual roles as a charismatic escaped convict masquerading as a preacher and his pious brother.
Another solid batch for 2019.
Fog of War (2003)
Documentary filmmaker Errol Morris interrogates one man, Robert Strange McNamara, who served under presidents John F. Kennedy and Lyndon B. Johnson as secretary of defense. McNamara at age 85 reexamines his fateful role as one of the prime U.S. architects of the Vietnam War. Recounting as well the U.S. incendiary bombing campaign during World War II against 67 Japanese cities that resulted in mass civilian deaths, his role at the Ford Motor Company in implementing safety features to reduce the number of deaths, and the defusion of the Cuban Missile Crisis through an empathetic understanding of the enemy, “The Fog of War” is structured by 11 lessons Morris has drawn from McNamara’s remembrances and ruminations.
Emigrants Landing at Ellis Island (1903)
On July 9, 1903, cinematographer Alfred C. Abadie recorded this short actuality for the Thomas A. Edison company, which first sold the film of immigrants arriving in New York under the title “Emigrants Landing at Ellis Island.” Many similar images from the era have become familiar in documentary depictions of American immigration, but Edison’s film, made in the first decade of motion pictures, was the first to record the now-mythologized moment.
We'd be remiss if we didn’t point out one entry whose inclusion on this year's list sure seems like a knowing jab at our current president who makes a living telling everyone to believe him and not their own eyes: 1944's Gaslight. Well done, National Film Registry. Well done.
Have a happy humpday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
Cheers and Jeers kiddie pool fans cheer Whoopi Goldberg for telling Bill in Portland Maine to "stop splashing"
—Raw Story
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