“Freddie!” I called. When I got no answer I started to whistle.
Freddie appeared next to me. “Stop it,” he said. “That noise is annoying.”
“But it gets you here!” I pointed out.
He frowned. “I guess it does,” he said. “What do you want?”
“I’m bored,” I told him. “There’s nothing on tv and I don’t feel like reading. Wanna look at some memes?”
He sat and curled around so he could lick the fur on his back. I waited.
He straightened up and looked at me. “What were we talking about?”
“Memes. Wanna look at some?”
“Oh. Sure, I guess.”
“Well don’t get so excited,” I grumbled, opening the laptop.
You know how this works, but as always, a gentle reminder:
Pooties are cats; Woozles are dogs. Goggies are dogs, too, and moggies are cats. Birds...are birds! Peeps are people. PWB Peeps are Pooties, Woozle, Birds People. No trolling the diary.
- If you hate pootie diaries, leave now. No harm, no foul.
- Share any and all pootie/woozle photos or issues that you would like .
- If you have health/behavior issues with your pootie or woozle, feel free to bring it to the community. We just may have someone whose experience can help.
- Whatever happens in the outer blog STAYS in the outer blog. This is a place to relax and play; please treat it accordingly.
- There are some pics we never post: snakes, spiders, creepy crawlies, any and all photos that depict or encourage human cruelty toward animals. These are considered “out of bounds” and will not be tolerated.
- There is no such thing as stealing a photo around here, but if you would like a pic from the comment threads, please ask the poster. He/she may have a copyright to those pics. Many thanks!
- It should not need to be said, but ANY/ALL photos that imply or encourage human violence against an animal will be considered verboten! Whether it is “comedic” or not
“Oh no! Not the toilet paper!” I said.
Freddie looked closer at the picture. “That’s the stuff above my litter box, right?”
“Yes,” I said. “Don’t you dare touch it! It’s hard to come by right now.”
“It’s you!” he cried.
“Ha!” I said. “It’s you too! Except you don’t really ever have to get out of bed.”
“I eat,” he pointed out.
“Yes you do.”
“What joke do you think he told?” I asked him.
“Probably something about the way you sleep all night and stay awake all day.” He chucked to himself and said, “it’s so stupid.”
“If I bought you Fancy Feast would you dress up for dinner?”
“No,” he said. “But I would probably eat it.”
“I don’t know, you are pretty picky,” I reminded him.
“Just make sure you get the kind I like and serve it to me when I feel like eating it,” he told me, like it was obvious.
I snorted. “Simple,” I said.
“Yeah. Simple.”
I shook my head.
“Don’t do that,” I said.
“I don’t,” he answered.
I nodded. “That’s right. You’re a good boy!”
As if reminded, Freddie started to clean his face with his paw. “Did you make a stupid mistake right now?” I asked, laughing.
He stopped and gave me a quelling look. “I don’t,” he said, and went back to grooming.
I nodded sympathetically. “It’s okay, no one saw.”
“Saw what?” he demanded. “I’m just cleaning my face!”
“I know,” I said, still nodding. “Nothing happened.”
“Nothing happened!” he said.
I laughed and clicked the next meme.
He pawed the screen. “I don’t get it,” he said.
“There was a thing last year about storming Area 51. It was dumb but funny for a few days.”
I frowned at the screen. “Freddie, what day is it?”
“I have no idea.”
I looked at my watch. “Oh wow! I think Easter is on Sunday!”
“I don’t know what that is,” he said.
“It’s a holiday. We usually go over to my cousin’s house for dinner. I guess we aren’t this year.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Easter is just a few days away! I completely lost track of the days.”
He sniffed at the screen. “It’s important?”
I thought about it. “To some people it is. We aren’t religious so it’s just an excuse to go to a party for us. But for a lot of my extended family it’s a very important day.”
“I’m just seeing a lot of cats in costumes,” he said. “I don’t really like that.”
“You don’t want to be my Easter Bunny?” I asked.
“No,” he said.
“My snuggly, soft bunny?”
“I don’t,” he said.
“My widdle biddy Easter bay-bay?”
“Stop it,” he said.
He batted the screen again. “What are those?”
“Rabbits!” I said. “They are soft and cute!”
His eyes rolled to meet mine. “I’m not wearing a costume,” he said.
“Of course not!” I chirped. “All the stores that would carry such a thing are closed!”
He sighed. “That’s good.”
“We’ll just have to dress you up next year!”
“What? No!”
“I like to eat things,” he said, slowly.
“I know! There’s lots of good things to eat on Easter!”
“That’s...good,” he said, slowly.
“And everyone will be so happy to give you treats when you are dressed like a cute bunny!”
“No!”
He glared at me. “I’m done with Easter memes,” he growled.
I laughed. “You know I would never dress you up, right?”
He grumbled to himself.
“Would you like a kitten?” I asked.
“Maybe,” he said. “But I wouldn’t want to share any of your attention.”
I sighed. “I thought so.”
I opened my mouth to comment.
“No dog!” he said.
I shut my mouth.
“It’s you!” I said.
“Sometimes,” he said.
I looked over at the bird feeder on the window. It was still being ignored by the birds. “I tried to get you a tv,” I said.
He looked where I was looking. “Maybe put it on the ground for the lizards,” he said.
“I don’t think they eat birdseed.”
“This is a very good question,” he said.
“We covered this last week,” I pointed out.
He frowned at me. “Do you have any pictures like this of me?” he asked.
I avoided eye contact. “Of course not,” I said.
He stared at me for a minute, then looked back at the screen. “If you do, you should delete them.”
“I don’t,” I said.
“Every picture I have of you is extremely dignified.”
“Regal, even.”
He nodded his head. “That’s how it should be.”
“Oh, it definitely is.”
“Is this why you always stand in front of me when I am in the bathroom?” I asked. “Is it to make me feel safe?”
“No,” he said. “It’s because you’re trapped there and I want to be petted.”
“Oh,” I said. “That’s not as nice.”
He gave a feline shrug. “I’m going to take a nap,” he announced. “You should use this time to go through those pictures and get rid of anything you don’t want me to know about.” He gave me a bit of a glare and jumped off the couch.
“There’s nothing!” I called after him.
“Sure,” he called back. “But maybe you should check.”
Happy Caturday, Peeps! Also, happy Easter and happy Passover to all who celebrate!
I’m sorry I was MIA last week — I’ll try to be here more today.