Donald tRump has learned a new word. We must now acknowledge his great and unmatched command of the English language. People are saying they are surprised that such a word even exists. Not our Donald; he embraced his new word before he even knew what it means. His masterful use of all the best words makes him a true man of letters — the letters I, D, I, O, and T leap right of the page as prime candidates.
What word did he learn, you ask? It was “sarcastic.” As defined by tRump, because the word “dictionary” is still several weeks into the future of his word-a-day calendar, “sarcastic” means a word used to try to silence criticism for incomprehensibly stupid statements. This accomplished by claiming, against all contemporaneous evidence, that the staggeringly inane utterance was intended as a jest.
Adding his new official rezidential definition of “sarcasm” has expanded the list of rhetorical flourishes tRump uses to bamboozle his followers. If we look back at his growth as a public misspeaker we can follow his path from young(ish) douche to doddering old fool an now to gibbering idiot.
When New York first met Donald he was spending a lot of time promoting his image as a bon-vivant, man-about-town, sexual titan. It was the time of his personal Vietnam. When he wasn’t busy assaulting women, paying for sex or lying about who he was dating, he used his alter-egos, David Dennison, John Baron and Smegma McBallsack to manipulate gossip media into reporting on his sexual prowess. He was polishing his command of puffery, shameless self-promotion, bald-faced lying and sockpuppetry. He gained a reputation as a buffoonish clown without anything resembling a moral core. Just another shallow idiot squandering his inheritance and splashing about in a sea of mediocrity.
By the time the new century rolled around he had added some tools to bag of tricks. After losing all his daddy’s money because of being one of the worst business people in history, he was able to pretend to competence by committing outright fraud and then blameshifting, denying and misrepresenting what he had been doing when his indiscretions were exposed. While he had been a bully all his life, he embraced the role of a legal bully and involved himself in endless thousands of lawsuits, never backing down, never admitting fault unless it was jammed down his throat by an outraged judge.
And that brings us to today. Since entering politics he has immersed himself in the art of slander, libel, denial, credit stealing and playing the victim. He’s also gone back to a technique from his youth, the schoolyard insult. Whatever brains he had have rotted into a putrid mass of uncoordinated cells, randomly firing synapses in a degraded network of no coherent use. He regularly spouts nonsense, worse nonsense and deadly nonsense. And then he whines incessantly when he is called out. This is not a president; this is a basket case.
But hey, at least he learned a new word.
No cartoons today. Sorry. It’s a legal issue about fair use and I’m not going to push it.
Here’s your handy link to this week’s edition of Monday’s with Jessiestaff: Monday Good News Roundup
Mokurai went after a big polluter today: Renewable Monday: America's Biggest Methane Plume