“Has my Ass-istant #1 put my Mail-in Ballot in the Mail
yet ?” Trumpty queried.
“I don’t know, sir, but I’ll check,” said Ass-istant #2. “In the meantime, sir, what do we say to the Press about this Qanon group that you supported this past week in front of all of the National News cameras ?”
“Qanon ? Oh yeah, those freaks that think that the Pope and Oprah Winfrey are pedophiliac, cannibalistic occult Satanists that kill and eat kids for some kind of blood elixir that keeps them young ?” Trumpty grunted. “Boy, sure wish I could get hold of some of that. If my old acquaintance Epstein were still alive, I’m sure I could have arranged to get hold of some.”
“Excuse me, sir ?”
“Aww, just tell ’em that I don’t know anything about Qanon. Just like we said about my not knowing anything about our…..I mean, the White Aryan Brotherhoods or the KKK in Charlottsville. That’ll keep ’em at bay.”
“Besides, I’m making sure that the Black Lives Matter movement takes the heat for being a violent Terrorist Group that houses other violent, Leftist, radical groups like ANTIFA. Distractions and whiz bangs. That’s the Game, Ass-istant #2.”
“Yes sir.”
“Has my Assistant #1 put my Mail-in Ballot in the Mail yet ?”
“Sir, I don’t know as of yet, but I will check on it for you.”
“I just want to make sure that he gets my Mail-in, Mailed in. My Vote is my Sacred Right to Vote for MySelf. It’s very important to me.”
“Yes sir, I realize that. I promise to check on it after we get a few more items taken care of.”
“Hurry it up, would ya’. I’ve got a FOX News Show to watch and critique, and some Tweets to send out. I’ve got a lot to get done this morning. I’m exhausted just thinking about it,” Trumpty grumbled.
“Yes sir. Sir, the Post Master General you put into office to help you dismantle the United States Post Office so that you and your Oligarchic Buddies can privatize it for a pretty Profit, and ruin the upcoming Election by slowing down the Mail and the Mail-in Ballots, and casting doubt on all Mail-in Ballots altogether, has to go before Congress next week some time. Any advice you’d like to send his way ?”
“Nah, he’s a smart cookie. He won’t spill the beans on anything.
I’m gonna’ do whatever I have to, to win the Presidency again. I intend to Win ! I‘ll just do whatever my buddy, Putin would do, and everything will turn out alright.”
“Yes sir. Sir, so poisoning your opponent is on the table ?”
“Are you making fun of me ?” Trumpty rasped.
“No sir ! Not ever, sir ? Perhaps we should go onto the next item on this list, sir ?
“This is not a democracy. Got it ? I’m the Boss. Only me. Everything revolves around me and goes through me. Got it ?” Trumpty glared.
“Got it, sir.” Ass-istant #2 said with gusto as he clicked his heels and bowed.
“Now, that’s more like it,” the mollified Trumpty declared with a cruel grin.
“Sir, what is your next step regarding the Corona-19 Virus concerning the overall American Public.”
“There is no next step ! There is no National Plan ! I have to have somebody to Blame and Scapegoat, and to do the actual work, so I handed it over to the Governors and Mayors of each state. Let them take the heat for the American People dropping like flies !”
“Yes sir !”
“Now, get out of here, and find out if Ass-istant #1 has Mailed my Mail-in Ballot yet ! My Vote is very important, you know ! It’s my Constitutional Right !” Trumpty harrumphed.
“Yes sir ! And sir, your Tee-Time is at 2:00 with Lindsey Graham and Mitch McConnell today.”
“Best part of my day ! I enjoy Toads toadying before me. I say Hop, and they ask ‘how high‘ ?”
“Ribbit, you don’t say ?” Ass-istant #2 said as he backed out of the Ovaltine Room.
“I do say ! And that’s all that counts ! Got it ?!”
“I am Hopping away to do it right now as you bark….I mean speak, sir. I’m going to run down Ass-istant #1, and have him ribbit….I mean, report to you right away regarding your Mail-in Ballot. Your Vote,sir.”
“Before you go, can you remind me what tv channel FOX News is
on ?”
“Zero, sir.”
“Figures,” Trumpty muttered as he searched for the remote.