This is my first composition for Daily Kos, so here is a little bit about me. I do not hold a doctorate in any medical, veterinary, dental, or psychological arts. And hell no, I am not a chiropractor nor a homeopath. I make my own memes, which I may post from time to time.
Anyway.
I have read every tale of Kos's Anti-Vaxx Chronicles. I read these tales--not to gloat, not to experience schadenfreude, not to laugh, not to cry--but to try to understand what moves these unfortunates. (Tip o' the hat to StellaMay, who expressed similar thoughts recently.) A common viewpoint among this site's readers is that there is nothing to understand, that nothing will ever change their minds about getting vaccinated.
I am not certain that that is so. These anti-vaccine folks may not respond to evidence and reasoning, but if their social media postings are any indication, they do seem to be responsive to other things:
Authority figures (especially those perceived as wise advisors instead of people barking orders);
Biblical references;
Plain talk (for people of ordinary education);
No displays of weakness;
Criticism of indecisiveness perceived in others; and
Strong language in small doses with few nuances and lots of repetitions.
Accordingly, I have written the following, which includes many of these elements. Might a pitch like this, featuring one particular pitchman, change some unchangeable minds?
***
ANNOUNCER: The 45th President of the United States.
THE PRESIDENT: Good evening.
Tonight, I do not want to talk about politics.
Usually I do talk politics, but not tonight.
Tonight, as far as I'm concerned, there is no Republican,
There is no Democrat,
There is no conservative,
There is no liberal.
And: I DON'T want to talk ONLY to my supporters.
I want to talk to ALL REAL Americans.
So: No politics tonight!
Politics deals with what we BELIEVE.
Tonight, I don't want to talk about what we BELIEVE.
Instead, I want to talk about what we KNOW.
Tonight I want to talk to you about the COVID virus.
And this is what I want to say to all of you:
There are THREE THINGS I KNOW about the COVID virus.
Number One: YOU DON'T WANT TO CATCH COVID.
Simple as that.
How do I know this?
Personal experience!
I had COVID!
It's terrible!
Now, when I had COVID, I had to appear strong.
Of course I had to!
I was President of the United States!
Even though I was strong,
COVID did its best to make my life miserable.
Believe me, you do not want to get COVID!!
So that's the first thing I know:
You don't want to get COVID.
The second thing I know is this:
THE VACCINES WORK AGAINST COVID.
Simple as that.
Now, I deserve some credit for getting vaccines developed, with Operation Warp Speed,
But I won't go into that,
Because tonight is not about politics.
I will just remind everyone that,
Early in the pandemic,
We didn't know whether the vaccines would be effective!
We didn't know whether there would be any side effects.
But NOW, folks, we DO know.
The evidence is in.
And it's overwhelming, quite frankly!
Billions of people,
That's 'billions' with a 'B'
Have been vaccinated.
The result is less suffering with almost no side-effects!
The success rate is incredible! Just incredible!
Countless people who would have DIED
Were SAVED by the vaccine.
Folks: I'VE BEEN VACCINATED!
So here again, I have personal experience.
And believe me,
The vaccination shot didn't hurt a bit!
And it was all over in just a second.
There were no serious side-effects,
No side-effects that would keep me from my important work in the Oval Office.
And the vaccine is free!
No out-of-pocket expenses, no insurance deductible.
It's free. And it's free because that's the way I wanted it!
Listen to me: The vaccines work!
You know, I've said this before, and some people booed me!
They shouldn't have done that. The vaccines DO work!
Now, I've heard what people are saying.
People are saying they don't need the vaccine.
People are saying they can rely on their NATURAL defenses.
Look, folks.
If someone--a PERSON-- broke into your HOME,
Would you defend yourself against that invader
With NOTHING but your natural defenses, your fists??
Of course not!
Nobody would!
You would want to ARM yourself
Against the invasion,
Wouldn't you?
Of course you would!
WELL, THAT'S WHAT THE VACCINE DOES!!
It's like a gun, it ARMS your body's natural defenses
To help you fight off COVID!
The vaccine does not take over your natural defenses, don't believe that.
The vaccine is like a gun, it actually makes your natural defenses better and stronger!
Oh, and by the way,
It's not just TRUMP saying that vaccines work!
THE ENTIRE SCIENTIFIC COMMUNITY OF THE WORLD
Agrees with me on this: VACCINES WORK.
So don't boo; it's the truth, folks.
By the way, did you see the Florida Surgeon General
Who'd been picked by Dumbass DeSantis?
I shouldn't call him Dumbass, at least not tonight.
That would be politics, and tonight there are no politics.
But did you see the guy, who got picked as Surgeon General?
He was asked, repeatedly, simple questions
About whether the vaccines worked.
And he hemmed and hawed
But he wouldn't give a straight answer
To some straight questions.
And these were EASY questions, from Democrats,
And he couldn't give a straight answer!
The truthful answer would be to come right out
And say THE VACCINES WORK.
Because they do.
The evidence is simply overwhelming.
So the first thing I know is
You don't want COVID.
The second thing I know is
Vaccines work.
And the third thing I KNOW is this:
GETTING THE VACCINE
IS THE SMART THING TO DO.
Now I know there are some of you out there saying:
"This is all about mandates, Trump wants mandates!"
Wrong. Wrong on both counts.
This isn't about mandates.
Mandates are politics, and tonight is not about politics.
I'm not talking about mandates.
No, what I'm talking about is FREEDOM.
Everyone, all of you, you have stood up for FREEDOM.
Thank you for doing that.
Just remember that FREEDOM to get vaccinated
Does not mean that saying NO to vaccination is a good idea.
I have freedom, too, you know.
I could have refused the vaccine, but I didn't.
I EXERCISED MY FREEDOM OF CHOICE to take it.
Others have done this as well,
Although some of them are too gutless to admit it.
The simple fact is:
Going unvaccinated, in today's world, just isn't very smart.
I'm asking you all to be smart.
EXERCISE YOUR FREEDOM TO GET VACCINATED.
No one's going to hold you down and give you a shot,
That's not how it works.
Use your FREEDOM OF CHOICE to get the vaccine!
Please. Get the shot.
Remember: The freedom to say NO is also the freedom to say YES.
If you choose to be vaccinated, nobody is going to laugh at you.
Nobody is going to ridicule you.
Nobody's going to make you pay anything.
Again, THIS IS NOT ABOUT MANDATES!
Even if there were NO MANDATE AT ALL,
You should STILL get the shot, because its SMART.
Don't get the shot because the GOVERNMENT
TOLD YOU that you HAVE TO get it.
Instead, EXERCISE YOUR FREEDOM TO GET THE SHOT
BECAUSE ITS THE SMART THING TO DO.
So those are the three things I KNOW:
1. YOU DON'T WANT TO GET COVID.
2. VACCINES WORK AGAINST COVID.
3. MAKING A FREE CHOICE TO GET VACCINATED
IS THE SMART THING TO DO.
Now, before I say goodnight,
I want to mention a couple of things.
There will be some people out there who will be saying:
"You've given in to the Democrats."
Wrong.
What I've said tonight is not a list
Of talking points from Democrats!
It would be insulting even to suggest that!
I'm Just repeating things I've been saying for some time now!
So: this is NOT about politics! Also,
You're forgetting that a HELL OF A LOT OF GOOD REPUBLICANS
Have exercised THEIR freedom of choice to get vaccinated.
I'm not trying to lead those Republicans
Who have already exercised their freedom of choice wisely.
They don't need my efforts,
They are ALREADY going in the right direction.
But I love you people and I want you ALL to go and do likewise.
Many of the people I really want to reach out to tonight
Are the people who have, in the past,
Placed their trust in my leadership.
People: If you trusted me as a leader,
Trust me now.
I know that many of you are a stiff-necked people,
And that what I have to say may be hard for you to hear.
But these are three things that I KNOW:
You don't want to catch COVID;
Vaccines work;
And you should exercise your freedom of choice
To get vaccinated
Not because somebody told you HAD TO,
But because it's the smart thing to do.
So please.
Get vaccinated.
Good night and may God bless you.
***
It is, of course, highly unlikely that Mr. Trump, or any of his people, reads the Daily Kos; and even more unlikely that they would use any subject matter from this site. They would immediately suspect that they are being set up for a joke or a trick, or that they are being baited.
But suppose we go down the rabbit hole, and suppose that someone brings the idea to Mr. Trump's attention, and suppose he decides to go with it, and of course I would grant him free permission to use whatever talking points, lines, jokes, etc. that he wants. In this hypothetical scenario, two questions come to mind. The first question is:
Could he actually succeed?
You know, I think he could, though it would be extremely difficult. I mean, I can write the words, but he would have to sell them.
Now, some of those words include some "Signature Trump Bluster"; and it is there for a purpose: he must "sound like himself." Some people may give Mr. Trump some crap about his bluster, but they would be missing the point of the exercise. He must sound authentic. Put another way, if he seems to be simply reading the words put in front of him, the game is up. He cannot phone it in, he has to hit it out of the ballpark. He has to assure these folks that he is who he is, that he says what he means, and that he means what he says.
That is a helluva hard thing to do. It's a tough audience. These people will be ultra-suspicious. In short, Mr. Trump would really have to nail it, and I mean nail it. Maybe he'd treat the exercise like a movie, using his most effective takes, and maybe use PowerPoint slides, as a businessman might do. He would also have to be ready to push these same three points again and again in public. But he would be on the right side of history with this, and I think he knows that.
As long as he was able to resist the temptation to "go political," and as long as he was able to stick to these three points, he would have nearly everyone, including many of his most bitter rivals, behind him.
Odds are he would not be up to pulling it off. And if he doesn't sell it, then he can forget about the White House, and that would be just the start of his troubles. He probably wouldn't think about attempting it in the first place; it's just too politically risky.
But, since we are already down the rabbit hole, let's go a little further. Suppose Mr. Trump does make such a big-stick-swinging movie, and he does nail it, and overnight, hundreds of thousands of people do change their minds. And the pestilence does abate. What could reasonably be predicted to happen then?
Well, for one thing, people will be calling for the head of DeSantis. Perhaps some of those people will even mean it metaphorically. There is no doubt some will try to dismiss the move as mainly (if not entirely) a political attack (tip o' the hat to David Jolly for pointing that out), and Mr. Trump would have to convince his listeners otherwise.
Now, can you imagine what commentators will be saying, across the political spectrum? If he knocks it out of the park, they will be calling Mr. Trump "courageous" and "presidential" and "showing genuine leadership." And it won't be just commentators from Fox News saying these things. I mean, it will make you want to vomit to think about all the praise Mr. Trump would receive.
And how about this: if he really pulls it off, thereby saving the lives of millions of people (remember, Mr. Trump's influence extends beyond the USA), reaching people that literally no one else on Earth could reach, might that effort be legitimately worthy of a Nobel Prize, perhaps arguably more worthy than was, say, Mr. Obama?
So here is my second question: Would it really be a good idea to make a serious effort like this to put an end to this worldwide pestilence, knowing that a successful effort will make Donald Trump president again, and this time by a legitimately larger margin? Or would it be preferable that we just let these misguided unvaccinated Trump voters suffer and die?
My view is this: I disagree with Mr. Trump and with Trump voters on plenty of issues, but when Mr. Trump is right about something, it is honest and polite to say so. More to the point, I do not wish for anyone to die unnecessarily and in distress, especially not when help is available. If Mr. Trump really could talk some sense into these folks, then, well, more power to him.