Society for Natural Investigation of Known Redactions
Breaking news: Ukraine invasion part of a wider plot not previously understood
More details have just been uncovered about the Trump administration's plans to invade Canada at the same time Putin invaded Ukraine, in a coordinated effort to accomplish both invasions when the rest of the world would be too confused and resource limited to do anything about either. Documents recovered in and around wastebaskets at the private Helsinki meeting between the two leaders make it clear that Putin was counting on Trump's re-election and had committed to do “everything in his power” to ensure that Trump would be in the White House in the early months of 2022. Russia's proposed aid was to include clandestine infusions of troops, equipment, and expertise to accomplish a coup d'etat as necessary. That this attempt to overturn the American election failed apparently did not deter Putin in pursuit of his ambitions for Ukraine, as we now know. It depleted his elite assassin corps, which included the Proud Boys and some others less well known to the public, but it did not destroy it entirely, and according to the FSB (successor to the KGB), Putin's royal palace guard remains safely in place.
According to the recovered documents, Trump planned to initiate his invasion of Canada on the west coast, beginning with an assault on the Seattle-Bellevue metropolitan complex, and when those areas were secured to proceed north and west to Portland, Vancouver and Victoria, where the Canadians were suspected of harboring weapons of mass destruction and citizens hostile to the United States. Once that assault had gained the necessary footholds, a parallel invasion force was to overrun Detroit and then east to Toronto, Ottawa, and Montreal, clearing out all those **(unintelligible) who communicate in some secret warlike language unknown to civilized people.
The long delay (nearly four years) in reconstructing these documents arose from their scattered and soggy condition when they were first found, having been routinely chewed up and spit out in pieces in the directions of wastebaskets, which the two world leaders managed to hit only sporadically. Locating, uncovering, and drying out and decoding these shards of information required expertise from the Helsinki cleaning services and the intelligence services of Finland, Sweden, Norway, and Great Britain, as well as from our own CIA and FBI.