The more time I spend working on lab stuff, the more I like it. This week I did coding again, and it’s slow and somewhat complicated work to remember how to do, but I oriented myself and got on it for 3 hours this week. I also talked with Dr C about how to plot out my future, and get to where she is basically.
I had originally thought I wanted to be a therapist, but I’m having a rough time right now with some things, and a spell like this as a therapist would be… a negative impact on clients. A bad spell with fish — well I cheer up, because fish. So that’s a pretty clear indicator of where my real interests lie.
I’m going to graduate in December if all goes well, and then apply next spring for graduate school here for fall entry next year in the non terminal masters program in psychology. I can still work in the lab while I’m not a student, and of course work with the lab as a grad student, assuming I get in.
It kind of amazes me that all this started as a joke just before the pandemic — Mum put a new roof on my brother’s house, and I said if he got a roof I get a degree, and applied to the university and got in. And Mum paid for that first year too, and I did all right and thought I was on my way — not sure what I wanted to do and was still thinking about anthropology — I hadn’t even settled on my minor yet. But it gave me something to do during the pandemic and I was pretty good at it. Then I got grants and I was basically being paid a small amount per semester to go to school, which was even better. I took out one small loan, under $6000 and already applied for the loan forgiveness — as long as the republicans don’t fuck that up I’m good and will have no student debt. And if they do fuck it up, I’ll have only a little.
I’m terrified of graduating. I’m worried about my school CV being enough to get in, I’m worried about taking out loans, I’m worried about the classes and the workload. But when I think about working with fish — I don’t worry.
So yeah. Fish rule.