I’m still kind of amazed that TFG was convicted: no MAGA weirdos on the jury, no one bribed or threatened into changing their vote. And since anything seems possible, here’s how I picture the sentencing.
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JUDGE: First of all, the defendant should know that each time you interrupt me, the bailiff will throw a tomato at you.
TFG: It’s PRESIDENT Defendant!
A tomato smacks into his head.
JUDGE: Factors that I will take into account, in addition to the charges themselves, will be your lack of remorse, your loud snoring during testimony, and the fact that you’ve repeatedly threatened me and my family.
TFG: What was that? I was busy typing something in all-caps about finding your house.
Tomato.
TFG: No one’s ever been treated worse than me!
Tomato.
JUDGE: I see that you’ve brought some of your supporters here. Senator Cruz, Governor Haley, Senator Rubio, were you here to act as character witnesses?
HALEY: No, we’re just waiting to pounce as soon as soon as there’s a chance to snag the spot for presidential nominee.
JUDGE: OK. This court sentences the defendant to the following: life imprisonment, banning from all social media accounts, community service scrubbing toilets, and having to learn the names of your other four children.
TFG: Ivanka!
Tomato.
TFG: Roy Cohn, John Barron, Rudy Giuliani and….Covfefe?
JUDGE: No. We’ll add a psychiatric exam.
TFG: I have the greatest brain!
Tomato.
TFG: Who’s throwing these f’ing tomatoes?
The bailiff steps out of the shadows. It’s Hillary Clinton.
HILLARY: Guess whose house you’ll be at for your community service, Donald?
Hillary puts on “Dark Brandon” sunglasses.
On to Top Comments!
Highlighted by patricia13:
In Peter Olandt’s diary I expect Trump to get jail time, and it’s important to state it publicly, detepa offers some insight on the importance of normalizing this view.
Highlighted by cstudio1:
For times when you’re confronted by Trump-loving acquaintances, dcnblues offers a fact-filled, righteous response.
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